Find My Way Back Home
by Toni America
Summary: After failing Dooku for the last time, Asajj Ventress finds herself memory-less in the care of Obi Wan Kenobi. Can the jedi master heal the broken acolyte without falling in love or being expelled in the process? Pairings: Ventress/Obi Wan. UPDATED.
1. Find My Way Back Home

**A/N: I can't believe I'm actually posting this… But this is my try at an Obi Wan/Ventress fic. It's a little AU, and the characters are a bit OOC. You'll understand more about why when you read it, though. I'm pretty sure everything's follow-able, but if you have a question or need some clarification, don't hesitate to contact me. Enjoy and don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and a couple characters here and there. I'm pretty sure you know what belongs to who, so disclaimer goes for the whole series/story.**

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**Find My Way Back Home- Priscilla Ahn**

Her breaths came in short ragged puffs.

Silver eyes wide and crying, lady Ventress never thought she'd die so far away from home…. But then again, did she really have a home? Rattatak seemed to only hold bad memories for her.

She lost more there than she ever thought she owned.

She didn't even want to _think_ about Dooku.

'_Bastard.'_ She thought angrily.

It wasn't enough that she'd been bested and almost killed yet again… The Count wanted to make sure by engaging her in combat and literally _kicking_ her out of his fleeing vessel.

Lightsaber burns marred her alabaster skin, while a stab wound burned painfully below her breast. Her back was broken and her leg was twisted at the joint in such a way that she'd probably never be able to move the same way ever again… That is if she were to live, which she wouldn't… So why did it matter that she analyze her current predicament?

It didn't…

Not really.

'_Guess old habits die hard._' She supposed.

Using her arms Ventress put all her strength into turning over. The dark acolyte cried out in pain as the slight movement aggravated her every wound bringing her whole being to such a high level of pain she thought she'd pass out. After much struggle, she found herself on her back staring up into the night sky. breathing heavily.

Her body was broken and her spirit was in shambles. The night air, cool and free, carried drops of water that felt like fire against her skin, stinging her minor cuts and gashes.

'_What if…What if it had all been for nothing?_'

'_Every ounce of pain… and death… every moment of this war…_'

'_What if it had all been for nothing?_'

"I have n-nothing to show f-for it…" She seethed bitterly. All she had were scars, guilt and a regret so deep that it shook her to her core. Ventress had never felt so contemptible in her whole existence.

'_If I were to leave this place… this life… who would mourn me? Who would have known me?_' Her thoughts were making her hurt more than she thought possible.

Why did she suddenly find herself caring? She was a murderer… a wanted criminal in the eyes of the Republic.

'_My own __**Master**_ _left me here to die._'

Maybe death was her reason for caring… It certainly was a fitting punishment.

No one would mourn her passing and why she'd want someone to was beyond her shadowed reasoning at the moment. But she did, and it made her imminent death seem so much more terrifying.

Blaster rifles and explosions sounded in the background as the rain poured harder. War was all around her… Reminding her of her sins even as she lay dying. Would she ever truly be free?

The pain that had seeped into her body was slowly giving way to an unsettling numbness. Her life force was fading. She felt like she was drowning in her own blood and contempt.

"_Perhaps Kenobi had been right about me? Maybe he was right about everything all along… _"

She was dying and the only person she could think of was Obi Wan Kenobi. How ironic…

The man she 'supposedly' loathed with every fiber of her being was her obsession even at the brink of death. The same man she'd tortured and cursed time and time again was the only person that came to mind.

'_I really am at my lowest point._' She snorted.

The wind howled at her thoughts, and suddenly she found herself laughing at the absurdity of her fears. She was a warrior, dammit, and death was something to be expected, was it not? It came with the job description and being deathly afraid of her own death was crazy, right… Right?

Except it wasn't and she _hadn't _expected to die.

Laughter that sounded rough to her own ears hitched in her throat before harsh sobs took their place rocking her body. And that was how he found her: Broken and crying in the rain. .

She had been so lost in her own despair, she had failed to recognize that someone was slowly approaching her. She hadn't even realized until warm arms pulled her closer to a solid body.

Whimpering, she pulled and clutched tightly to her savior. She winced, ignoring the pain. She preferred this warm feeling over that of the cold wet ground. She had a feeling that it wasn't just anyone. She could feel her own waning force signature respond to that of Obi Wan Kenobi's.

At first, she stared up at him wide-eyed in distress despite the warm feeling coursing through her. The rain mingled with the tears she'd been crying. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I knew I'd be the death of you," he joked softly with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Another sob escaped her lips as warmth spread through her body holding the numbness at bay. Her hands groped blindly towards his face until her slim fingers tangled themselves in his beard.

"I'm sorry!" She cried burying her face in his chest, "I'm **so **sorry…" He tightened his hold on the dying woman.

"Shhhh…" He whispered into her ear, "All is forgiven…" his voice sounded strained.

"I-I'm dying… I'm g-going to die here and no one will- no one will r-remember or worry or care…" Her crying was becoming hysterical, and the Jedi master found himself frustrated that he could do nothing to change this outcome or the bitterness that nestled itself in her voice.

"Asajj… Asajj, darling," He took one of her hands placing a soft kiss to her palm, " Look at me," He commanded softly.

"I'm here with you now," he assured " and I'm not going anywhere."

Ventress found herself staring into his face, trying to memorize every line and detail. Peach toned skin with ginger hair and cerulean eyes. Raindrops matted down his hair and dripped from his beard and onto her face. She had always thought him handsome and while he wore remorse well, she decided she didn't like this look on him.

"You were right," She murmured afraid her time with him would finally reach its end. "Y-you were rr-right about me, and I was so angry at you for s-seeing through to me. I always knew I was right, and then you turned everything upside down."

She stroked his cheek with the shadow of a grin ghosting her lips. "I'd become so obsessed with you." She laughed at this part. Though it was weak and it sounded like it hurt her immensely, he could see the realization in her dulling eyes. She was telling him things she was discovering for herself as well.

"You were everything I knew you weren't…. it was like the more I fought you, the more you proved me wrong. It was… maddening…"

He snorted in agreement. After he'd escaped from her, she had become somewhat of an obsession to him as well.

"Master!" The voice of Anakin Skywalker startled the two. "Obi Wan!"

Ventress' eyes widened in fear as she held on tighter to the man that held her. "Obi Wan, please!" She pleaded frantic that he would leave her. "No…no, no, no… please don't…" Crystalline tears formed and fell from silver irises. "Don't go…" Her hands clutched and grabbed with the same intensity. He calmed her trembling form by placing a gentle finger to her lips shushing her.

"Calm down, darling, I promise I won't leave you." He reassured her, sending calming waves through the force. The two held their breaths until Anakin's voice faded in the opposite direction.

Obi Wan sighed in relief when he realized Asajj would have her final moments in peace. He felt his heart wrench at the thought. Oddly enough, she had become important to him.

A spasm of pain ran through her body, causing her to jerk and hold tighter to him. She moaned rather loudly as she buried her face in his brown robes once again. The Jedi master squeezed her hand placing a kiss to her temple.

The attack left her breathless and weak. He could feel her fading and he knew she knew it too.

"Why?" She asked faintly, as he wiped away her tears "After all I've done… Y-you never thought I was a lost cause?"

"No, darling… I-I never thought you were a lost cause…" he spoke huskily cupping her face gently with his hand. "Everyone deserves the chance to redeem themselves should they really want to." Her voice was just above a whisper and her eyes were beginning to lose focus.

"You're a fool Obi Wan…" she murmured, "Pure and noble… The worst kind…"

He smiled as he lowered his face to place a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth. Lingering for a moment, he gingerly moved his lips until they fused gently with hers. The kiss was soft with the faintest taste of salt and rain. Running his tongue along her bottom lip, she moaned as she allowed him entrance beyond her lips. Their tongues explored and stroked each others mouths. He held her tighter deepening the kiss, giving all he wished he could. Ventress found herself groaning from both pain and pleasure.

A multitude of emotions coursed through his system as he literally kissed her breath away. He found himself wanting to do so much more than hold and kiss her. He wanted to… well you, know. But even more than that, he wanted to love her. To protect her and help her through it all. The thought sent shivers down his spine. But he knew he couldn't and would never, because in moments she'd be one with the force.

The former sith apprentice whimpered when he pulled away sucking softly on her lip as his mouth broke contact with hers.

Her world was ending and all that mattered was this one moment with him. She opened her mouth to speak, but he covered her lips with his again. Plunging his tongue deep into her mouth, he groaned when she felt her lips meld with and around his.

"I wish…" She gasped into his mouth as he pulled away "I wish… we could've been different…"

He smiled watching her face as he absently stroked her jaw. "Close your eyes," He whispered placing a light kiss at her faint pulse, "just rest now."

Closing her eyes, she reached for his hand, holding it tightly. He watched as her chest rose and fell in labored succession.

Moments later, her grip went slack as her head lolled back- he could no longer feel her force signature.

It would appear that Asajj Ventress had died. The rain beat down with a new found intensity. Staring up into the sky, Obi wan clutched her body closer to himself as a wail of despair ripped from his throat.

It was then that he realized he was crying.

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**A/N: Too OOC? It's going to be a redemption fic… And a random one at that… But any thoughts or comments would be appreciated. I'll try to update soon! **


	2. Misguided Ghost

**A/N: As I said, this story is a bit AU… However all will be revealed in other chapters. It's mostly from Ventress' point of view, but I'll try to write it from Obi Wan's as well. Don't forget to review!**

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**Misguided Ghosts- Paramore**

_China doll eyes._

Her pale form shuddered and contorted in the night. Soft unintelligible mutterings filled the air as moonbeams filtered through the window. Her body glistened in the light due to the soft sheen that coated her weary frame. Dark ebony curls stuck to her face and neck. It felt foreign to her, but she pushed her fingers through it all the same.

_That's all she remembered._

Light breezes that held faint traces of pine and rain entered through the overhead window ghosting over her freezing form. She was so cold. So dreadfully cold… Was she sick?

'_Am I dying?' _She thought.

But hadn't she died? Wasn't she _dead_?

But she couldn't be if she was tossing and turning in a bed as spasms rocked her body and forgotten images plagued her thoughts. She winced as her back came into contact with warm and rough feeling stone. The contact sent a sharp pain up her spine that made her chattering teeth rattle even more. The pain slowly died down into a pulsing ache. Pulling cotton sheets closer to herself, she whimpered as they seemed to do nothing for her discomfort.

Cold, black china eyes… Like Esmee's old rag dolls. Her eyes watered at the thought of the girl.

Esmee…

Pale skin with bright blue eyes. Innocent eyes that hadn't deserved…

_Blue eyes wide and pained as a jagged blade was wrenched from her gut. She had heard screaming, then. _

_Loud, piercing and angry… _

_Screaming that drove her forward to Esmee's falling body. Esmee, who had never done a thing to anyone, shocked and dying in her arms. Her sister's delicate hands covered in red trying to hold herself together. Eyes, blue and horrified switching from her own to that of the offending color. _

She squeezed her eyes shut as a strangled sob left her mouth. The pain in her heart growing to be unbearable.

_And crying… she remembered the screams melting into cries of despair that begged and pleaded for life. For Esmee's life that was pooling and soaking into Rattatak soil. And that stupid doll she always carried… The one she had clutched as she lay dying that day._

Her alabaster skin was paler than normal, almost as pale as Esmee's had been… But Esmee had been kind, and young, and beautiful. The man with china eyes had been cruel and jaded… Tainted. His touch was cold, and everything about him had been calculated and driven by a cold passion. But Esmee's stuffed dolls never hurt her. They never unleashed their wrath upon her, or expected her to be more, perhaps less, than what she was.

Maybe… She could sleep it off?

Maybe sleep could help her forget the faces and deeds of her past. Only it wouldn't because he was there. Her expression turned panicky as she realized she was no longer in bed but in a cave, _alone_, with the man who killed her.

Tall and dark, his regal face was illuminated by the glow of a crimson blade. Eyes hard and angry, displeased in her… locked on her.

'_China doll eyes._' She thought. The smell of ozone permeated the air.

But she couldn't concentrate because the color was the same shade of red that leaked from her sister's frail and failing body. The very color that robbed her of her reasoning and humanity, like the men that had robbed her of her family and firsts.

And then, there was screaming.

Raw and enraged.

Primal with bloodlust.

She _**would**_rip those eyes out of his sockets and brandish them like the ancient warriors of her home planet. She would do it for her sister, and for herself. But before she could lunge at the ominous figure across from her, strong hands clamped down on her bruising her pale arms, shooting terror up her spine. He was big and horrid. Rough and ruthless like the man who had stabbed Esmee.

"Let… me… **GO**!" She barked trying to hold the fear at bay. Thrashing wildly, She felt as if she were young and helpless. But she wasn't young and helpless anymore… Reigning her terror in, she took control of the situation and threw all her strength into throwing her assailant overhead.

The male Rattataki crashed into the dank rock walls not too far from her target. Smirking, the white-haired man brandished his glowing saber arrogantly before settling into a defensive posture.

Crouching with a feral gleam in her silver eyes, baring her teeth, she hissed before launching herself at his throat.

Sidestepping her attack, the Count struck her backside with his saber burning her flesh and throwing her balance off. The lady found herself sprawling forward into the dirt, groaning as the wound was exposed to earthy elements.

"You can do better than that, my dear," he sneered fading away into the shadows.

How she hated the sound of his voice. It was always mocking…

But before she could push herself up to wonder about this place and him, strong arms hauled her to her feet before a heavy hand struck her down again. She could taste blood fill her mouth as a bruise was beginning to form on her cheek.

It was the Rattataki she'd thrown earlier. The same as she remembered him. Scrambling to her feet, she spit the red mess out of her mouth before sending her own open-handed strike at his nose, breaking it with a satisfying _crunch_.

The grotesque grin that formed on her face rivaled that of her previous master's master. His screams were like music to her ears and prompted her to continue her attack. Drawing her arm back she shot her fingertips in under his Adam's apple, curling them around his collar bone and ripping him forward into the cave walls.

The force was enough to make him blackout momentarily. She watched him like a predator watched its prey before the kill.

The Rattataki pushed himself up onto unsteady legs. Slowly stalking the staggering man, she pushed him against the wall by his throat. His face was a bloody mess, but it was the fear in his eyes that pushed her forward.

She struck him once in the face, before lodging her knee in his gut with a demon's fury.

The male Rattataki doubled over before she slammed his back against the wall again.

Wrapping her slim fingers around his neck, she stared into his eyes as she used both hands to squeeze the breath out of him.

"Disgusting cretin…" She hissed maliciously.

Asajj watched as fear took root in his eyes, smirking at his miserable attempts to free himself. She could see her face reflected in his watery gaze and she looked… possessed…

Almost like she had that day…

'_Asajj… I-It hurts…' _

'_I don't know what to do…' She sobbed._

'_Don't b-become o-oone… of them-m…"_

"Asajj," Esmee gasped, "Don't…"

"_**What?**_"

Fear and confusion ran rampant underneath her skin as she found herself face-to- face with her sister, choking her to death. Asajj lost her grip, stumbling backwards, horrified at her actions. Tears stung her eyes as Esmee slid to the ground coughing and bleeding, gasping for breathe.

She wanted to turn and run. She wasn't like _them_… She couldn't be… But she was and suddenly Asajj felt sick to her stomach.

"Asajj!" She heard her sister's voice, "Asajj wait!" But Asajj was running, leaving the scene of her crime behind. She didn't even notice the man with his crimson blade until her face ran into the bottom of his boot.

The force behind his kick was enough to send her flailing on her back. Her face felt as if it had been hit by a meteor. Her vision was fuzzy, and when everything cleared she knew she was standing on the loading hangar of her master's vessel.

She stood up, losing her balance as the ship lurched, sending her already aching head against the haul's wall.

Asajj groaned at the pain, trying to concentrate on what was going on. She could hear, rather than see, the Count approach her.

"You have failed me for the last time…" She opened her mouth to argue with him, but she never got the chance.

Her eyes shone brightly as she felt the blade burn through her chest. An agonizing fire ripped at her innards making her scream and cry, clawing wildly at his chest. Her eyes squeezed shut as her head snapped back, dizzy from all the pain.

"Forgive me, my dear, but the emperor no longer requires your services." He stated phasing the weapon off.

She swayed dazedly, with silver eyes wide and anguished. The burning hole in her chest was eating away at her consciousness. Staggering backwards as the male Rattataki had done before her, former Commander of the Seperatist forces, Asajj Ventress found herself face-to-boot once again as an explosion of pain overcame her.

Asajj bolted upright gasping for breathe.

Had it all been a dream?

'_But it felt so real…' _She thought dazedly.

Her hair was damp and plastered all over her face and shoulders. The sun was peaking through white curtains. She must've closed them sometime before she fell asleep. Her heart beat so hard she felt as if it would burst from her chest. The spot below her breast ached fiercely.

"What …. was that… _me_?"

Burying her hands in the cushions beneath her, she desperately tried to calm herself, her breathing was panicked.

"Just breathe…" She repeated it like a quiet mantra she'd heard many times before.

"_Asajj… Breathe." Esmee giggled, "You can't think if your brain is deprived."_

Esmee… 'Who-'

Asajj looked down at the soft gown she wore. Because of her night terrors, it was now somewhat transparent, sticking to her skin. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed. She winced as her right leg touched the ground.

Standing straight, she raised her hands high above her head stretching her back, legs and arms. It seemed that every part of her was sore or throbbing. Taking a deep breath, she slowly exhaled as she let her arms down. The small cottage she resided in smelled of earth and ozone… Reminding her of home and him.

The slight pain that traveled up and down her leg was enough to make her limp as she found her way to the bathroom. Peeling off her clothes she stared at her body in the full length mirror that hung on the wall beside the tub. She saw the wound that had ached earlier below her breast. It was stitched up, though the skin looked raw and puckered.

She stared on in shock.

She couldn't believe the scars and stitches that littered her body. How… h-how had she gotten those? Was it really like the dream she'd had? She was so confused, and all the reoccurring images were beginning to give her a headache.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she tried to shake her head free of the thoughts. Limping over to the tub, she filled it with hot water. Pulling her dark hair way from her face, she tied it into a bun and slowly lowered herself in the water, sighing as it stung and soothed.

She thought… of Esmee?

Had she really had a sister?

And wouldn't she know if she did?

Her bright blue eyes that reminded her of another. She couldn't remember his name, but she remembered his face. Ginger hair, and kind eyes… Did she know him?

Why did he leave her? Alone…

Were they friends, enemies….

Lovers? The thought made her blush.

After bathing, wary of her wounds, Asajj rinsed out the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. Limping out of the bathroom she made her way back to the bedroom to find something to wear. She couldn't help herself when she caught her reflection again.

Facing the mirror that hung from the wall, Asajj leaned forward until her nose hovered near the cool surface. A pale face with blue tinted-silver eyes stared back. Some of her hair had fallen from her makeshift bun and into her line of vision. She looked…. _young_.

_Very young._

Her sharp features were free of any marks and her eyes were oddly expressive. It was as if she were a different woman… Almost… But hadn't she _always_ looked like this?

Letting her hair down she frowned as the ebony locks rested on her shoulder framing her face. It wasn't a _bad _look… Just one she didn't… recognize? But why was her appearance shocking to herself? She was 'herself' 24/7... Shouldn't she know what she looked like? Groaning, she rolled her eyes as she felt a migraine coming.

Shaking her head, she hobbled over to the bureau and pulled out a free flowing cotton skirt, and a loose fitting tunic, sleeveless, of the same light color. After donning the clothing she pulled her hair back into a loose braid that rested between her shoulder blades. It was… difficult to do, but she found she liked the end product.

She walked over to the window pushing it open and staring at the land surrounding her 'home.' Green pastures seemed to roll on for miles. A city lay out in the distance, and the ocean seemed to call to her from the other direction. It was beautiful, she realized.

Naboo came to mind, but she didn't know if she knew where that was, or if she'd been there before…

'_Ack! This is ridiculous…' _

Maybe it was _here_? She'd been so lost in thought, she hadn't even heard the front door open and close. A whispering in the wind told her to turn around.

Whirling her body around, her eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

"Asajj?" Ginger hair, and kind eyes. "It's Ben… Ben Kenobi."

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**A/N: Questions, comments, concerns? Submit them in a review or message me! **


	3. Painter Song

**A/N: Woot! Woot! An update! I apologize for taking so long to update. This has been sitting around for a while and every time I think of posting it I always find something to change.**

**Hopefully this chapter will shed some insight on things. The previous was supposed to leave you in the same fog Asajj is in- Perhaps it worked too well… **

**But big thanx to all who read, and special thanx to:**

**Wings-Make-Everything-Better, crazy4asajj, and Elizabeth for reviewing! You guys are awesome! **

**Any-who, I hope you like! **

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**Painter Song- Norah Jones  
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"He'll be back before you know it."

Asajj sighed, "I know… it's just… I…"

"Miss him?" Shuri supplied good-naturedly. Asajj rolled her eyes throwing her friend an annoyed glance.

Ben had told her of the woman who would check-in on her from time to time. Shuri Aldreska was a native of Naboo who said she owed the General a favor. Even though she was sarcastic and teasing, she proved to be a great listener and somewhat of a maternal figure to the confused girl. She was the first _real_ friend Asajj had in years. Though she was shorter and a bit plump, she was pleasing to the eyes with an even prettier smile. Asajj found her annoyingly enjoyable….

"Yes, I miss him." The confession sounded as though it pained her. Shuri couldn't help the chuckles that escaped her lips. Asajj made a face as she chucked the core left from her eaten fruit. Grabbing another, she sunk her teeth into the soft flesh savoring its taste.

The two were lounging against the base of a tree enjoying the sun and the tranquil setting around them. They were eating peaches underneath a tree that sat a few meters away from a large green grove of trees.

"Why is it so hard for you to admit that?" She asked, amazed at how stubborn a person could be. Taking a bite of her fruit, Shuri continued with her mouth full, "It's no secret that you like him." Silver eyes widened in shock as the Rattataki woman found herself jerking forward, sputtering, from almost choking. Now it was Shuri's turn to roll her eyes.

"Please." She scoffed swallowing. Leaning forward, she gave her friend a solid slap on the back. "There's no need for such theatrics."

After she gained control of her coughing fit, Asajj shot the blonde another dirty look making her laugh. "I don't _like _him…" she began. Shuri sobered, folding her arms across her chest as if to say 'Really?'

Asajj sighed, "He's the only person I get to see… besides you…." Looking down she picked and pulled at random blades of grass. The Naboo-ian air was cool and refreshing.

The two had decided to venture a short distance away from the cottage. It was far enough to be away, but close enough to get back should something arise. Naboo was a beautiful planet that Asajj found herself falling in-love with more and more every day. It was calming with its rolling hills and high grass…

The two were sitting in the same place she and Ben had spoken to each other almost two weeks ago...

"_I don't remember much…" She confessed quietly fingering a blade of grass. It was the second time she'd seen him since that day he showed up unannounced in her, well his, bedroom. _

"_It's like I'm me… but not the me I __**think **__that I was. I…I- It's confusing." She ended sounding annoyed at her situation._

_He nodded, brow furrowed in concentration, "That's to be expected." He said softly reassuring, "Your injuries were quite extensive."_

_She nodded letting his words sink in. She could feel her braid slide over her shoulder as she did so. "You must know something about me…" She thought aloud, eyes downcast. _

"_Mm-hmm." _

"_Were we close?"_

_He snorted, somewhat amused by the irony of the question. 'If attempted murder counts as closeness…' _

_She cringed, afraid of his answer. "Well… were we?"_

"_In a way." He stroked his beard. 'Obsessed is more like it.'_

_Her hands fumbled nervously with her hair, unbraiding it, as she looked him in the eye. _

"_Do… Do you know __**what **__happened to me? Who I was before you brought me here?" Cerulean eyes bored into her seemingly mesmerized. She cast her eyes down on an invisible spot in the grass as her cheeks burned bright red. She hoped he hadn't noticed the effect he was having on her._

_He stared at her long and hard. He found himself doing that often. She looked so vulnerable, and lost. He shuddered when he thought of her in his arms afraid, and broken an death's door._

"_You look…. younger…" He trailed softly._

_Her eyes snapped up in horror, feelings of nervousness pushed away. 'What a charmer…' She thought sarcastically._

"_Thanks." She commented dryly. "The ladies must fall all over themselves for you…"_

_She watched his expression change to one of amusement. Cerulean eyes were bright with mirth. _

"_Forgive me, my dear,"_

_Her eyes widened and her annoyance was soon replaced by a cold fear that griped her frenzied heart in an iron grasp. She didn't hear anything else after that. _

_**Her eyes shone brightly as she felt the blade burn through her chest. An agonizing fire ripped at her innards making her scream and cry, clawing wildly at his chest. Her eyes squeezed shut as her head snapped back, dizzy from all the pain. **_

_It seared and burned just like it did before. Clutching the wound below her heart with hazy eyes, Asajj found herself doubled over biting back a strangled scream, with a concerned Ben Kenobi by her side. _

"_Asajj… Asajj!" He called concern etched in his expression and in his voice, "Darling, can you hear me?"_

_She nodded holding tightly to his arm, eyes squeezed shut as the pain intensified. She felt his other arm wrap securely around her, holding her until the spasm passed. It seemed to go on for forever before the horrible sensation left her breathless. _

"_What's wrong with me?" She gasped burying her face in his robes, trying to catch her breath. _

"_Did you remember something?" He asked, all traces of humor replaced by concern. She nodded against his chest clinging to him helplessly, tears springing to her eyes. _

_Silence._

"_I should be dead," she whispered fiercely, feelings of powerlessness washing over her. "I should be dead and the crazy thing is, I know I probably deserve it." The bitterness in her voice did not sit well with the Jedi Master._

_Suddenly she found herself at arms width from him as he grasped her forearms. She didn't know what she did to make him so… angry. She winced at the feeling and the determined look in his eyes as he stared at her. _

"_Never say such a thing." His voice was hard, "You're no coward, Asajj Ventress, and it does you no good to speak like that. I won't lie to you, you __**hav**__e done horrible things and you probably __**do**__ deserve what's happening to you."_

_She couldn't stand the emotion in his demeanor, or the fleeting truth in his words. She found herself looking away, ashamed. But Ben would have none of that. Letting go of her arms, he placed a hand against her jaw, and gently prompted her to look at him. Resting his other hand on her lower back, he pressed forward so her back was straight and they were eye-to-eye with inches between them._

_With a sharp in-take of breathe, he found himself staring at her really taking her emotions in. Her silver eyes were brimming with unshed tears, while her pale lips trembled softly. _

_He remembered kissing those lips… It seemed as if it were a lifetime ago… He thought he had lost her then, and it had hurt more than he cared to admit. _

_But it was her eyes that stole his breath. They were wide… Earnest. Completely trusting of him. Dependant, solely upon him. Ebony curls blew furiously in the wind._

'_Beautiful.' He thought with a burning that started deep in his chest and spread to other parts of his body. _

_He imagined those eyes tightly closed, snapping open to reveal silver irises unfocused with need and lu-_

'_**Focus Kenobi!**__ She needs you to be of sound mind and body… Not fantasizing about-' _

_Asajj watched as his eyes darkened with an emotion she didn't quite recognize. It was exhilarating and raw. She felt like a moth drawn to the flame. The effect was dizzying and painfully pleasurable. She found her eyes achingly aware of his lips, before she tightly closed them._

"_Asajj…" He whispered his voice thick with emotion._

"_Yes?" She responded breathlessly, desperately trying to control her pounding heart and growing feeling for the man in front of her._

"_Open your eyes." He commanded huskily. It seemed as if he'd been telling her that a lot… Maybe they were closer than he let on._

'_What's wrong with me?' She wondered feeling flustered and terribly awkward. Had she no experience in this department?_

_She felt his calloused palm push her hair away from her face as his body leaned in dangerously close to hers. She couldn't help the sigh that pushed its way past her lips._

"_Please…" He pleaded breathily in her ear letting his hand rest on her neck stroking her wild pulse with his thumb. With a low groan, she slowly opened her eyes. The Naboo-ian plains rolled and dipped with the cottage right in her line of sight, but Asajj's mind was elsewhere._

_The Jedi Master slowly counted backwards from 'ten,' trying and somewhat successful in regaining control of his body and thoughts. He took a breath to steady his nerves. Placing a soft kiss to her temple, lingering a tad bit longer than necessary, he sighed._

_Asajj relished in the gentle contact, whining inaudibly when he pulled away. His expression softened considerably as he held it all together. She was somewhat disappointed when the intensity in his eyes dimmed. _

"_You also deserve the right to survive it and come out as your own instead of a product of your environment." He said quietly. Dropping his hands to his sides, Obi Wan pushed himself up off the ground. He turned away from her running a hand through his hair._

_Asajj looked up at his backside feeling disappointed and strangely hurt._

'_Why does he even matter?' She asked herself. __**…Cause he's one of the only people that's ever believed in you… **__'How do I know that?' _

… _**You do know… Deep in your heart. You remember, but you don't…. But it's only because you're afraid of what you'll find…. **_

'_That's not true… It's not… I'm not afraid of who I am…' _

…_**Or are you?… **_

_Shaking her head Asajj tried to rid herself of her uncertainty. She had to if she wanted to maintain some of her sanity. Taking a hand through her hair she stood brushing the grass and dirt from her skirt leaning heavily against the tree they'd been sitting under. Her injured leg was still stiff._

"_I can't tell you who you are, Asajj…" He said turning to face her, "I can tell you what you did, but not who you are or why you did it." He paused allowing her to understand what he was saying before continuing. "If you truly want to heal… to overcome all of this… You have to be willing to face yourself and let go of whatever it is you've been holding on to."_

_She nodded, silver eyes bright and determined. _

"_Trust me?" He asked extending his hand to her. _

_She smiled placing her hand in his, 'I do.'_

_He grinned pulling her closer to him. Stumbling forward, she wrapped her arms around his torso trying to keep her balance and conceal the blush on her cheeks. She could hear him chuckle, and it made her smile all the wider. _

_Obi Wan helped her right herself before studying her face. His gaze was smoldering with traces of what had transpired earlier. Her face burned brighter and she found she was trying to focus on anywhere but his eyes. _

_Big mistake. She found herself staring at his lips again._

_She stilled as his hands cupped her face, wiping away the salty droplets that had yet to fall._

"_I believe in you, Asajj… You're strong. Everything will be fine, I promise." He moved his fingers through her hair, before pressing his lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss. Asajj could hear the blood rushing in her ears._

"Naboo-to-Asajj! Are you there?"

Asajj shook her head to find Shuri staring at her with a mix of annoyance and amusement. "S-sorry…" She stuttered, face a deep shade of crimson. Shuri shook her head at her friend's embarrassment.

"What were you thinking of?" The Naboo native fished, "Was it General Ke-" Asajj quickly clamped her hand over the blonde's mouth knocking them both off balance. Shuri hit the ground laughing loudly at the Rattataki's actions. It would look as though the two had been swallowed by the high plain grass.

"Shuri!" She whined, "Be serious!"

Pushing the slim woman off of her, Shuri rolled on her stomach, throwing her hair behind her shoulder. "Alright…" She huffed, sobering up.

"What's on your mind?" Asajj found herself in the gaze of genuine jade eyes. Shuri was giving her her undivided attention.

Asajj rested on her stomach as well, staring out into the horizon. "I- I'm…" She was afraid to voice her thoughts. Her pale fingers dug deep into the earth, her whole body tensed and as a serious expression settled upon her features.

Shuri placed a comforting hand on her back. "Asajj…" She began softly, "You can tell me anything. You have to believe that." Shuri's smile was sincere and beguiling. Asajj nodded, slowly releasing the tension in her body. Taking a deep breath she released her death grip on the soil and began again.

"I think I'm remembering things about myself…"

"That's good, right?"

"Yes… No… I don't know!" She huffed, rolling her eyes, "Ben won't tell me anything, but I know when I'm being disapproved of." She thought back on what he said that day.

"_I won't lie to you, you __**hav**__e done horrible things and you probably __**do**__ deserve what's happening to you."_

She sighed, "My dreams are so hazy and chaotic, I'm never sure of anything… But it's always the same one…" She trailed as the familiar tendrils of her nightmares invaded her thoughts. Shuttering, she told her friend about her dream and the panic and pain that always followed. She told her about 'Esmee' and the shame that always followed.

"Sometimes I wake up crying clutching my chest… It's feels like dying. Like I'm being punished for something and everybody else knows what for except for me…"

"Well, dreams are our subconscious' way of speaking to us. Maybe yours is trying to tell you something you're not dealing with."

"That's ridiculous…" Asajj scoffed.

… _**You do know… Deep in your heart. You remember…. But it's only because you're afraid of what you'll find…. **_

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid or unsure…" comforted Shuri. "You just have to be willing to face it… whatever it maybe."

"Why won't he just tell me?" Asajj muttered.

Shuri noted the frustration that slipped into her voice. Silver eyes were beginning to burn.

"What's he so afraid of?"

Shuri bit the inside of her cheek, '_The only thing General Kenobi is afraid of is admitting that he's in-love with you…_'

Feigning confusion she responded with her best 'Obi Wan impression,' "Sorry puppet, I haven't the faintest idea of what to tell you."

Asajj rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed. Groaning in frustration, she dropped her head into the crook of her elbow. "You're no help," came her muffled voice, "And you sound nothing like him." Shuri chuckled before becoming serious again. Weighing her options, she decided to slip into doctor mode.

"Have you considered that maybe he doesn't think you're ready?"

Shuri watched as curious eyes peaked through a curtain of black hair. Taking a deep breath, she chose her words carefully. "When… when he first bought you here, you were broken in every sense of the word… you were barely alive. He said he had promised you that he wouldn't leave you…" Silver eyes widened as droplets of water were beginning to brim.

Asajj was not the first person Shuri had helped come to terms with what they had, or hadn't, done in their life. Years ago she had served the Republic as a psychiatrist until a near death experience made her question what she hadn't done in life. It was General Kenobi who had saved her life and inadvertently introduced her to her husband and the father of her two daughters, Laurna and Adel. She felt for the girl in front of her, but she also knew Asajj Ventress had a long way to go to truly heal herself.

"Asajj… 'Ben' knows what he's doing. You have to trust him. This is no easy task to accomplish… Time and _you_, dictate everything." Glassy eyes locked with jade.

"Do you understand?" Shuri pressed gently. Asajj nodded whole-heartedly, raven locks bobbing.

A nervous laugh escaped her lips, "I feel like I cry all the time now… I'm pretty sure I was never this emotional…"

Shuri rubbed her back comfortingly, "You're beautiful," she assured fingering dark locks of hair, "You're just a diamond in the rough, is all…" Asajj scoffed, velvety laughter rolling from her lips.

Shuri decided she liked it when Asajj laughed like that. It was infectious… and charming. She grinned satisfied with this turnout, "Now hand me a peach… You'll never believe what Laurna did yesterday…"

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**A/N: Thanx again for sticking around- Don't forget to review!**


	4. Virginia Moon

**A/N: BAM! 2 for 1! Although you should probably expect more in the amount of time it took me to update…. But any-who, you know how it goes- Read and enjoy!**

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**Virginia Moon- Foo Fighters**

Her eyes were closed and all she could see was the backs of her eyelids.

'_I don't see or feel a thing… I could be sleep right now!'_

Cracking open an eye, she peaked at the man across from her.

Ginger hair blew softly in the wind as tan robes ruffled noiselessly.

"Ben… I don't think I'm doing it right." Silver eyes blinked open.

"Patience, darling… You're not even trying." He mused without opening an eye.

"But-"

"Asajj… Focus." It sounded as if he were reprimanding a child.

Asajj sighed as the wind shuffled through, pulling her ebony tresses forward.

Ben had lead her to a lake that rested about three miles away from the cottage. Asajj found herself overly delighted when her eyes surveyed their surroundings. It was beautiful, she had decided laughing at own her giddiness.

When she had turned to express her gratitude, he had stood there taking in Naboo's natural beauty… and her. He couldn't help the grin that split his face as watched her child-like wonder.

He was glad he finally got to see this side of her.

He only wished she hadn't had to go through what she had to get to this point.

'_It's not as if she can remember…' _His thoughts were bitter.

She had strode back to her Jedi counterpart gaily spinning and giggling. The Jedi master shook his head at her antics. It was a sight he never thought he'd see.

Taking his hand in hers, she had smiled when his fingers closed around hers.

"C'mon," she said, tugging him forward. "Let's go and **meditate**." He duly noted her use sarcasm...

"_Meditation?"_

_Obi Wan smiled at the expression that settled upon her sharp features when he introduced meditation as a method for the woman to regain her memories. It was clear from the tone in her voice and the look on her face that she was a skeptic of his methods._

"_Yes meditation," He mocked amused by her reaction before sobering up, "It will help to clear your mind so that you may better conjure your memories."_

"_It sounds like a waste of time…" she mumbled falling back into bed. It was 7 o'clock in the morning for heaven's sake! He really wasn't winning her over to his cause…._

_Wrapped in cotton sheets, the Rattataki woman was resting soundly before the incessant knocking of Ben Kenobi roused her from her slumber. To say she was irked was an understatement._

_Pulling the covers over her head, he snorted at her muffled remark._

"_I was '__**meditating**__' before you woke me up to tell me that __**meditation **__is a common thing most people do daily." Rolling his eyes Obi Wan didn't even bother with a response as he crossed the room pulling open the curtains. Warm rays swallowed the room as the Jedi Master used his force capabilities to uncover the hostile beauty beneath. _

_Asajj literally hissed as the soft light washed over her body. Obi Wan couldn't help the eye roll that followed. _

"_Was the hissing really necessary?" he sighed. Asajj growled as she buried her face under the pillow._

"_Kenobi, this is s-"_

"_Language, darling, language." _

"_You didn't even know what I was going to say!"_

_The Republic General fixed her with a knowing look._

_Asajj groaned as she slowly exposed her face to the light allowing her eyes to focus._

"_Ben," She whined pushing her hands through her mess of hair, "Are you really waking me up for __**early **__morning meditation? Can't we do th-" _

_Leaning against the window sill, the Jedi Master ignored her whining as he took in her disheveled appearance. Light eyes, shaded by her hand, were squinting up at his visage, despite his stature blocking some of the light. She'd traded the nightgown for pale blue boy shorts and a tank top. _

_He found his eyes following the contours of her body. The light created different shades and values as it danced along her back dipping before it trailed back up rounding down her tight bottom. Her boy shorts ended cheekily, allowing alabaster skin to show. Toned-_

"_Are… you okay?" She asked when she realized how distracted he was. Tilting her head, a wicked idea blossomed in her mind when she saw the tips of his ears redden. A coy grin graced her face before she lazily rolled on her back, arching upward, teasingly slow, into a seated position. _

"_Is everything ok, General Kenobi?" Asajj asked innocently, throwing her hair over her shoulder. _

_Despite the wicked beating of her heart, she couldn't help the laughter that rocked her body. His reaction was priceless._

_Obi Wan found himself blushing profusely as his hand went to the back of his neck. Stuttering out a stream of apologies, he mentally cursed the feeling of his burning heart. Where was his renowned Jedi stoicism when he needed it? _

'_Damn that kiss!' _

_He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice her getting out of bed._

_Taking in his occupied expression, Asajj took the opportunity to further her teasing. Usually Kenobi was never this easy to torment. She figured she'd better capitalize while she had the opportunity. Rising to her full height, she slowly pressed her body against his wrapping her long arms around his neck. The excitement that twinkled in her eyes, wound itself in other parts of her body. _

"_Master Kenobi," She whispered docilely staring into his eyes. She inhaled his scent, her body reacting on an accord of its own. Relishing in his body heat, Asajj inwardly trembled at the emotions that seemed to consume her. Feeling his body tense, she smirked, unsuccessfully, trying to push her own sentiments away. _

"_Are you __**sure**__ you're okay?" She drawled gently stroking the nape of his neck, allowing one of her hands cup his face before tracing its way to his collar bone and down his chest. Cerulean eyes darkened as they locked on the former sith apprentice. _

_Asajj mewled as she felt his hands clamp down on her hips. She found her mind to be a jumble as his face came closer to hers, lips resting at her temple._

_She bit her lip as she felt those hands glide leisurely up her bare back holding her closer. _

_She blushed, somewhat mortified, as she released how awry her simple prank had gone. _

'_It's not as if you're __**not**__ enjoying it…' Her mind traitously supplied. But Asajj desperately tried to deny that the sensations she felt from his hands made her knees weak._

_She gasped as he yanked her head back and whispered huskily in her ear, "I think you should be more worried about __**yourself**__, love." Placing a soft kiss to her neck, He let go of her hair and disentangled himself as if nothing had happened between them. He walked towards the door leaving a very wide-eyed and emotionally confused Asajj Ventress staring after him._

"_Dress for the outdoors!" He called casually as he exited. _

_Falling back on her bed, Asajj couldn't help the shock and frustration that crept up her spine. _

'_Stupid Jedi and their stupid __**Jedi control**__.' _

_Crossing her arms angrily across her chest, she desperately tried to control her raging hormones. _

'_Stupid Kenobi and his stupid calm…'_

'_**You did start it…'**_

_She mentally huffed._

_Groaning in exasperation, she stalked to her bureau and pulled out a pair of indigo shorts and fabric of the same color to serve as bandu wraps. With her clothes in hand she stomped to the bathroom slamming the door. She swore she could hear him laughing at her._

'_This is stupid!' _she thought blushing crimson at the memory.

He had taken her to a small group of flat boulders that sat at the edge of the lake. It was there that the two currently sat, legs folded beneath them with their eyes closed, meditating.

At least Obi Wan was, anyway.

Looking up at the sky, Asajj smiled at how familiar the bright blue of the heavens were to her. It reminded her of home. Her eyes clouded with emotion as her gaze averted to the ground. Tears blurred her vision before she hastily wiped them away.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and focused on that color. She thought of distant planets as violet horizons melted into a dusky indigo. She thought of Ben whose eyes reminded her of rain. She only ever cried in the rain before. Esmee would hold her hand until she was through.

Esmee…

_Esmee, who had never done a thing to anyone, shocked and dying in her arms…_

Only Esmee _wasn't _shocked and dying. She was alive and well in her thoughts. Happy and young as she was supposed to be...

"_You're getting to be too big for this… and for that __**stupid **__doll." _

_The soft patter of footsteps had disturbed her light sleep. A smaller girl stood in the doorway as the red glow of the Rattatak moon bathed the room in a murky red light. The younger girl stood there in a scrap of nightgown, clutching a ratty stuffed animal whose mouth stayed in a permanent line. Black eyes twinkled listlessly._

"_Don't talk about Moira like that! Besides, I'm not scared… I'm just cold." Asajj shifted in her bed, scoffing sleepily at her sister's reply._

"_Now where have I heard that?" She asked sarcastically, sitting up to better look at her sibling. Bright blue eyes stared back from a round face. The look of indignation made the elder chuckle good-naturedly. _

"_Meanie…" She mumbled. Disregarding her sister's statement, Asajj patted the spot beside her._

"_Alright, c'mon… But you have to be outta here in the morning." Blue eyes twinkled with relief. "Thank-you!" Esmee breathed shooting across the room flashing a grateful smile._

"_Remember…" Asajj reminded sternly._

"_I will, I promise!" Esmee scurried into the bed, huddling closer to her older sister._

"_Good… Now go to sleep." Asajj shook her head as she wrapped her arms around the younger girl._

"_Love you, Asajj…" she whispered snuggling into the embrace._

Asajj's eyes fluttered open, surprise written on her face. She could feel a migraine coming on…

"Asajj?"

"_Asajj… Where are you? Come see your papa off!" Ventress knew that voice anywhere. It was warm, yet authoritative. However, today, she didn't want to speak to the voice's owner. _

_So upset was she, she didn't even bother grabbing the wagon that held the buckets. She just grabbed a pail and began on her way to the village's well. It was only when a calloused palm gripped her shoulder that she halted her movements. _

_Grudgingly turning around, Asajj stared at her father. _

_At 6'4 with steely blue eyes that almost looked gray, her father kept a neat black beard. Though stoic, it was obvious to anyone who watched that Kyren Ventress was completely in-love with his family._

_The two continued walking in silence. Asajj with her eyes fixed forward, her father, randomly speaking to other villagers as they passed by. _

"_Why such an angry face?" he asked after a while._

"_You're leaving." She stated with frosty indifference. They'd finally reached the well. _

"_Again."_

_The older watched as the younger tied the bucket off and lowered it down to fill it with water._

_Though he loved his wife and children dearly, Kyren also wanted more for his people. He and his men were leaving at first light to stop a rising warlord destroying villages that refused to support his faction._

"_You knew this day was coming…"_

"_It doesn't mean I have to like it." She hotly insisted before looking down to see if her bucket had filled. Her mother would probably fuss at her later for only filling one bucket. _

"_Last time you came back with that…" She continued, glancing at down at his artificial leg. _

_Kyren sighed, as his eyes studied the false appendage. Made of steel and wood, the leg had been something to get used to. His oldest daughter had been terrified when she saw it._

_Glancing back up, he watched as she began to retrieve her bucket now full of water._

"_It was necessary. Yalen is a good man, He'd do the same for me." _

"_humph." Was his only reply._

"_Need some help?" he tried again._

_Asajj had finally got the bucket up. Resting it on the ledge of the well, she untied the rope, ignoring her father's offer, and proceeded to carry it home. Groaning, she really wished she'd bought that wagon now. _

_Rolling his eyes at his daughter's stubbornness, he took the bucket from her grasp as the two began to head home. A cry of indignation was the only reply to this actions._

"_Will you watch over your mother and sister?"_

"_No. You can do it yourself if you stay." _

"_We've been over this…" Hi sighed, wondering where she inherited such a stubborn streak. _

"_And it still sounds stupid." _

"_There's nothing foolish about hope, Aasta." It was Asajj's turn to sigh. She hated when her father called her 'Aasta,' it always made her feel sappy._

"_Can't they handle themselves without you?" She asked agitatedly._

"_That's not the point." _

"_Then what is? Are we not important enough for you to stay?" She asked bitterly, folding her arms across her chest. She could feel the tears prick her eyes making her groan in frustration. She'd been hanging around Esmee much too long… She was becoming a crybaby. _

_Kyren stopped in surprise, making Asajj stop as well. How could she ask such a thing?_

"_Aasta… You're important enough to die for. And I'd die before I let that man ruin what I deem the most important." He forced, hurt that his daughter felt so hurt._

"_You're doing this for us?" She cried indecorously. _

_Asajj knew she was being unfair, but she couldn't stand to see her father leave and not come back._

"_For all of us…" He stressed. "I hope you can maybe understand one day." He patted her back gently urging her to move once again. _

_When the two finally reached the house, she spoke._

"_I wish you didn't have to go."_

"_As do I." He placed the full bucket on the ground._

"_I'll do it…" She breathed resignedly, "But you have to promise to come back." She stared up at him, eyes wide and timid. _

"_Papa… promise you'll come back?"_

_Kyren smiled and pulled her into a bear hug, despite her loud protest._

"_Of Course."_

"Asajj… Asajj?" The jedi master shook his companion trying to rouse her from her frozen state. Her face still held that shocked expression.

Obi Wan watched as silver eyes slowly started to focus. The former sith apprentice furrowed her brow in confusion as she took in her surroundings and her companion.

"Ben?" She voiced feeling disorient.

"Are you… alright?" he asked carefully noting her current state.

"I- I…." A dull ache resided in the back of her head as she tried to focus on his question. She felt like a door had been open, and the whole sensation was a bit overwhelming. She felt so… so confused…

A stirring in the wind chilled her spirit… Like maybe the wind knew something she didn't.

"I'm okay." She replied dazed, "I- I just- I-"

"Had a memory?" He supplied eyes filled with concern.

She blinked before letting her eyes settle on him, an eerie feeling of familiarity washed over her as she studied his visage.

"Asajj?" He prompted.

"Yea… I had some memories."

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**A/N: I've always wanted to see some back story about Asajj and how she got to be the way she was. I wanted this story to kinda serve as my own version of a timeline of her life. **

**Any-who, I hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to REVIEW!**

**Virginia Moon- Foo Fighters**


	5. Don't Look Back in Anger

**A/N: I know that it's been a while, but I haven't given up on this story. This past year was my last year of school and now that I have a little more time, expect to see things done. Just cross your fingers for me in hopes that I get a job! **

**It's crazy cause I've had some chapters just sitting around, but they were never in a particular order so I couldn't post them until I wrote the immediate chapter following. But any-who, Thanx and enjoy! Please forgive any mistakes unless they're just too offensive to ignore.**

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**Don't Look Back in Anger- Oasis**

"Something smells… delightful?"

The smell of roast duck and veggies permeated throughout the small cottage making its new visitor inhale deeply. Cerulean colored eyes scanned the room until they looked on a female figure who had just placed a batch of peeled potatoes in a pot of boiling water.

Asajj couldn't help the grin that tugged on her lips as Ben Kenobi walked through the door. After flashing him a trademark eyeroll the raven haired woman continued about her business chopping chives and bits of bacon to set them aside for later.

"Your room is clean and ready," she informed him as she watched him make his way through dressed in his jedi robes.

When Shuri told her General Kenobi would be coming home two days ago, she found herself feeling a mix of things she wasn't entirely comfortable with. At first she was ecstatic about being able to see another person, but then came the anxiousness and that made her stomach flutter.

She had cleaned endlessly and promised hours' worth of babysitting if she could get the items she required to make an adequate meal_._

"_You want to 'cook' for him?"_

"_Is there something wrong with that?"_

_The Naboo native couldn't help the laughter that erupted from her stomach. 'The infamous Asajj Ventress cooking dinner for the renowned Obi-Wan Kenobi... Never in a million star cycles…'_

"_No…" she managed after calming down. "It's just a little... odd-" she said clearing her throat. "I didn't peg you for the cooking type."_

_Shuri grinned at the dark-haired girl's response enjoying the mood of the conversation. _

"_Don't look like that... I'll get you your stuff and you can 'cook for your man' the whole time he's here." _

_She watched as a deep blush blossomed across her friend's face._

"_He's not- it's not..." Asajj fumbled, "We're friends and I owe him."_

_Shuri scoffed._

"_I'm your friend and you never cook me dinner- Ouch!" She winced at the playful tap that stung her upper arm. "But then again… you don't have erotic dreams about me either." _

"_Shuri! They're not… sexual."_

_Asajj groaned wishing she'd kept her mouth shut about her dreams. For the past couple of days the raven haired woman had been having these odd dreams about herself and the jedi._

"_You're an adult," Shuri reassured the mortified woman, "It's natural. But!" She emphasized, "My anniversary is coming up and I'm going to need a babysitter…"_

"_What?"_

"_Quid pro quo… Nothing's for free in this galaxy."_

_A huff. "Fine… But you wouldn't have to go for me if I were able to go myself."_

_The lighthearted mood of the interaction began to fade as it was eclipsed by the other's bitterness. _

"_Asajj…"_

_Asajj held a hand up in the air silencing her fairer haired companion. "I get it. He doesn't trust me. Neither of you do… It'd just be easier for me if I knew why…"_

_Shuri frowned._

"_You're wrong, you know, and I think you should talk to him about it. His reasons may surprise you. Besides, I just enlisted you to watch my kids. If that's not trust, I don't know what is…"_

Asajj rolled her eyes at the memory focusing instead on the onions and spices she needed to make her gravy. She could always count on Shuri with a teasing word and encouragement.

Even though, her friend did have a point: She needed to talk to Ben. She was tired of being confined where she was. She wanted to go out and interact… Be normal, or as normal as someone like her could be.

She felt his presence drawing her out of her thoughts. Lately, ideas of him would leave her flushed and restless. For the past few days she had been having the strangest dreams when it came to her jedi. Another reason to talk to him…

After placing his belongings in the back, Obi Wan stood in the kitchen doorway watching her work. He noted the way the short skirted peasant dress draped over her slim figure allowing her long legs to show.

The indigo color of the dress looked lovely against her pale skin. He felt as if he hadn't seen her in years… Perhaps that was the reason why he couldn't take his eyes off her.

_Pressing her lips to his, she slowly pulled away to gauge his response. Silver eyes widened at the cerulean eyes that were now a burning azure. Thin lips molded to hers as she found herself roughly shoved against the wall._

_She winced as his fingers found their way into her hair yanking her head back as he deepened the kiss, stroking the inside of her mouth with his tongue. His other hand grasped the bend of her knee caressing the pale flesh before wrapping her leg around his waist and pushing his body closer against hers. _

_The jedi could feel his body reacting, excited by the tone body pressed against his._

Shaking his head, Obi Wan frowned in bewilderment wondering where these thoughts were coming from. It was against the his way to feel so intense about someone. But he couldn't deny that she occupied his thoughts often.

On a lighter note, he imagined turning her around to stare in her icy hues. Ever since she'd woken from that coma, it had become one of his favorite things to do when he was around. Her eyes had always been beautiful to him, but now they were alive with something other than hatred. Every time she looked at him, he felt like he was seeing someone she hadn't allowed herself to be in a long time.

This woman who was so much different from herself, and yet oddly the same, was a wonder to him and he found it harder not to think of her. She was as stubborn as ever, but so much more vulnerable than before.

Roused from his thoughts by a flash of movement, blinking Obi Wan furrowed his brow to see what the matter was. Every so often she'd shake her hair over her shoulders, clearly annoyed at the dark tresses. Chuckling at the annoyance she projected, he crossed the room and ran his fingers through her hair. Asajj stiffened as soon as he made contact.

"It smells amazing in here… Is that roasted duck and carrots you have in the oven?" He asked slowly combing her hair away from her face. "And mash potatoes waiting on the stove?"

"Y-yeah, it is," she managed wanting to lean into the massage he was giving her scalp. "I'm making gravy now… If you don't mind, there's a hair band over there," she motioned with her hand.

He hummed in response reaching to grab the hair tie. When he had secured the hair in a ponytail Obi Wan took his time moving off to the side.

_Asajj moaned as she felt his grip tighten. She could feel her skin flush and her heart rate increase as his mouth attacked her throat suckling and kissing the skin there. Running his hand up to cup her bottom, he squeezed appreciatively before pulling his mouth away from her skin to kiss her lips again… _

"What?" She asked as a light blush fanned her face.

"Nothing."

Was she always this flustered around him?

_She could feel his hands running up the bare skin of her back making her shiver pleasantly. Cursing the loose dress she'd chosen to wear, she couldn't help the sounds that came from her mouth. _

The chopping knife she'd been using tumbled from her grasp as she braced her hands on the counter.

_Moaning into the rough kiss, she inhaled sharply as his hand slide over her breast lightly teasing the pert nipple._

"_Ahh…Ob-"_

"Obi Wan!"

The blue-eyed man stood straighter as his eyes locked on her frame.

Asajj turned away from his gaze pretending to look for something in an overhead cabinet, feeling embarrassed by the pictures in her head and the confused by the name that came out of her mouth.

"What did you say?" He asked carefully studying the muscles of her back they tensed and un-tensed with every breath she took.

"N-nothing? I-I…" She took a deep breath before calming her wild heart. "Did you know Shuri made me baby-sit while she went to the market to get the food for this?" A nervous laugh. "You should be honored that I went through such an ordeal for you."

Deciding to play along for now he relaxed his stance and commented. "Really? I'm glad to know the two of you get along so well."

She rolled her eyes before telling him about Laurna and Adella and the day they spent together.

The two little girls, or at least the youngest, had been so excited to tell her about their home and school. The oldest, Adella, hadn't warmed up to her until it had been closer to their time to leave. The two had reminded her of fonder times with her family. Overall, Asajj had found she enjoyed the girls even though she had pretended not to, to Ben.

"Wait… So you braved 'petulant children' just so you could entertain me?"

"I can't be glad that you're back?" It came out smaller than she intended as realized how it must have sounded.

_Wanting to feel more of her skin beneath his fingertips, he growled as he spun her around so he could remove the pins that kept the free fitting garment on her body. His fingers made quick work of the buttons as he whispered huskily in her ear._

"_I can't get you out of my head…" _

_He slid the fabric off her skin slowly, savoring the pale flesh it kept hidden. Calloused palms traced shoulder and muscle before Obi Wan ground his erection against her backside making the body beneath his shiver in excitement._

"N-No…" he coughed feeling suffocated by the visions in his head. "I just didn't think you were the c-cooking type." He watched as her form went rigid yet again.

_Asajj moaned as she rested her head against the rough surface of the wall. She couldn't help the whimpers that escaped her mouth as his hands slid ardently over her flesh, teasing and pleasuring in the sensualist of ways._

Feeling ridiculously flustered and frustrated, she growled before spinning around to face him.

"St-stop it!" She stumbled, "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

He quirked a brow choosing to concentrate on her outburst instead of his thoughts.

"Keep saying what?"

Returning to the task at hand empty-handed, Asajj rolled her eyes as she went to work heatedly gathering her ingredients in a sauce pot.

"First Shuri, now y-you…." After the mix began to simmer, she washed her hands before turning her sharp gaze on him.

"You cook?" She mocked aloud, "'What… Asajj Ventress? Thankful? I can't believe it.'"

Whipping her head around she threw her hands on her hips before getting in his space and poking his chest with her finger.

"I'll have you know that I, Asajj Ventress, am an amazing chef and that if I want to cook because I miss you sometimes, I damn well can!"

A big grin split his features lighting his eyes. She couldn't help the mortification that ran through her veins or the restlessness in her limbs as she realized her outburst.

"Wait! I m-"

"And I appreciate it," He chuckled taking her hands and pulling her towards him playfully, "It's just the Asajj Ventress I knew would've never offered to 'dazzle me' with her 'amazing cooking skills.'" He teased. Tilting her head up to hold her gaze he added, "It really means a lot to me that _**you**_ would do this."

She scoffed with the tiniest hint of a grin before kicking him out of the kitchen so she could work without the irrational fear of him knowing her thoughts.

The Jedi master had finished his last bite of potatoes and was moving to clean up when Asajj initiated the conversation she'd been waiting to have with him.

"Why won't you let me go out in public?" She asked calmly while clearing the table. He looked up into her neutral expression with surprise shining in his blue eyes.

"Excuse me?" He coughed grabbing plates to wash them in the sink.

"Like to the markets and the cities… Why can't I go anywhere?" A hand rested on her hip while the other rested on the chair she'd just occupied.

"It's dangerous out there," He said matter-of-factly turning to face her.

Rolling her eyes, she didn't miss a beat, "For me, or for you?"

"What does that mean?"

He could sense an argument coming on.

"I barely remember anything about what I used to do." She swept around the kitchen putting spices and dishes back in their proper places. He started to wipe the table down with a cleaning cloth. "Besides… my appearance has changed enough that people wouldn't recognize me."

The quiet admission made him freeze in his actions. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

"When did-"

"Just didn't feel right." Asajj interrupted guardedly wrapping her arms around herself. "Besides, you can't expect me to sit around here all day **every day**."

Glancing out the small kitchen window behind her. He didn't need to see the midnight sky to know it was late. Dinner had been amazing and he didn't want to ruin the night with the conversation he knew she wanted to have.

"No… Asajj I'm sorry but too much is at stake for you to be out wandering around."

"This is ridiculous, Kenobi, and you know it!"

Sensing his intention to leave, she growled and immediately cut him off to plead her case.

"Can you at least tell me about myself so I can understand why I'm deemed a hazard to everything but you."

"I didn't say that," He insisted as his eyes darkened in response to the challenge in her tone.

"No but you're actions speak for you," She countered hotly.

"What if something happened and you were put in a situation where you had to defend yourself?" He shot back.

"I'm a big girl…" She assured. "I think can handle myself. And why would I need to defend myself?"

"Really? Then explain to me how you ended up here with an open chest wound, broken back, leg, concussion and no memory." He ignored the last part.

The scar of her chest wound burned. Her anger rose as a blush fanned across her face.

"That's not fair! I didn't ask for your help!" She shouted, blocking his path again as he tried to duck around her.

"You think I'd leave you like that?" He flared incredulously.

"Forgive me for not falling over myself to thank you! You're chivalry is _**much**_ appreciated!"

"I don't expect you to understand the meaning of compassion…."

Pushing down her affront she responded disbelievingly, "So what, I'm just some obligation to you?"

"I made a promise."

"A responsibility, then."

"If that's what you want me to say."

"I want the truth not some misplaced declaration of _machismo_."

His laugh was bitter, "Don't ruin this, Asajj. I really don't feel like having this conversation with you. Don't be so difficult."

"I'm the one being difficult? The fact that you actually expect me to sit here and play house is what's really ruining my opinion of you." Tossing her hair across her shoulder she couldn't help the stubborn set of her jaw. "In fact, it's offensive and I deserve some answers. Sorry but _meditation _isn't working out for me. I _**need **_something!"

"It doesn't matter now, because it's not up for discussion." Pushing past her, the Jedi Master was intent on getting to his room and shutting his door.

'How dare he talk to me like that!' Something seethed in her thoughts. Balking at the steel in his voice, she grabbed his arm before exploding.

"The hell _**it isn't**_! Are you ashamed of me?"

"What?" To say he was shocked was understatement. What was she talking about?

"Is 'what' the only word in your vocabulary now? Are you ashamed of me?" She repeated eyes burning into his waiting for a reply.

"…"

"Figures…" She scoffed. "For all your talk of helping me you haven't even given me a chance to prove myself." She couldn't mask the hurt in her voice or expression. In the blink of an eye she was stalking off in the direction of the rooms.

"Know what? I'm tired of this charade. You can take that chivalry of yours and choke on it, cause it's not enough for me!"

"Who do you think you're talking to. I'm not the low-life who left you to die in the middle of nowhere!" He yelled taking offense to her assumptions. "You don't have to prove yourself to me!" Grabbing her shoulder, he spun her back around, grasping her chin gently. "I know you…"

She opened her mouth to respond to which he beat her to it.

"Without even having to, I know you better than anyone."

Smacking his hand away defiantly. "So… someone is after me?"

"That's not what I said, and you should probably forget that I said it."

Laughing humorlessly, she responded with dark eyes. "That's what I'm talking about. If you're such an expert on the subject, **please**… _**please**_ tell me something! Who am I?"

"You're Asajj Ventress."

"Really?" she said with bitter sarcasm. "Everybody seems to know about her _**except me**_- Asajj Ventress!" Her eyes were incensed. "But then again you like keeping secrets, don't you Kenobi?"

Part of her recognized how this was counterproductive to what she set out to do, but the other part was simply too livid to care. The force within him recoiled from the darkness that seemed to materialize from nowhere.

She smirked at the caution in his cerulean eyes.

"Are you afraid, jedi?" Her voice dropped in tone as her posture changed.

"Afraid of who I really am… What I'm capable of?"

"Asajj…" He straightened to his full height as she slowly snaked her arms up his chest.

He swallowed locking eyes with her. Something was off. She was acting so predatory that it was enthralling, if only a little disheartening. He could feel the heat creep up his neck from the closeness of her.

"Did I lie to you, Ben? Use you? You claim to know so much and yet you've done so little." Licking the shell of his ear, the dark haired woman felt as if she was possessed.

"I don't want to do this with you, Ventress." He couldn't help the use of her last name or the fever behind his voice.

"Come now Kenobi, don't tell me you've gone soft…" He shivered as she traced along the edge of his jaw.

"…"

"I thought you were strong, being a Jedi Master and all."

Graceful fingers grazed his scalp through a sea of ginger hair.

"Or maybe you like keeping me as some pet project. I guess even Jedi act on their selfish desires." She hissed in his ear leaning into him.

_Suddenly she felt his mouth hot and unyielding against her jugular. One hand clamped down on her waist while the other snaked its way around to the front of her belly before dipping into her panties. _

Closing his eyes, he responded lowly wanting to pull her closer.

"Oh, but I bet you wish I did. Hard to pass the blame on when you're only playing against yourself. I think you like 'playing house' for me."

_She could hear what little blood that hadn't rushed downstairs, rage loudly in her ears. Grinding her bottom against the protruding bulge that was pulsing against herself, her yearning mind appreciated the rumbling vibration his groan had caused. _

_Heady at the feel of her wet for him, his fingers fondled that sweet cluster of nerves until her knees began to quiver and his ears were filled with her pleading whimpers. _

"As a matter of fact, I bet you'd like it more if I did more than just 'play with you.'"

"You're p-pathetic!" She shoved him away feeling both confused and fevered.

"Keeping me locked up in this house… As- as if I'm some animal!"

Where was this coming from?

"You're no better than the rest of the s… "

A dull ache began to drum through her skull. He could sense the fear and uncertainty within her.

"Say it!" He mocked bitterly. Her disposition felt contagious. Damn this woman. How dare she make him feel so unbalanced.

"n-no… I don't want to …" All her bravado had gone.

"Don't turn coward now!" He sneered grabbing and yanking her towards him, aware of the fear emitting from her. "Where's your passion, _**sweet**_?"

"I _**hate**_ you," She fumed weakly dislodging herself from his grasp.

_This man would not get in the way of all she had worked for. She'd show him and all the rest that underestimating Asajj Ventress was a crime punishable in the harshest of ways. Her justice was cold and unforgiving, much like her fury._

_Smirking as the wall was bathed in red light, the dark acolyte leaped forward ready to educate her prey._

Her head hurt worse with each thought.

"Leave it to you and your stupid order to think you know what's best! You can't even control y-your emotions!"

"Ventress…" He ground out trying to separate her feelings from his own.

Catching himself, before he did something he regretted, the Jedi master began to gather his inner peace as he sent calming waves of energy into the force for both of their sakes. She didn't realize it, but she was beginning to project her emotions and he could feel every tumultuous thought.

"_There is no margin for error this time, child." Dark eyes regarded her knowingly. "You must prove yourself worthy of being my apprentice." She mentally shuddered at the spark in his eyes. She would show him and all would be right in the universe._

She felt her body tipping forward as a spell of dizziness came upon her causing her to lose her balance.

Obi Wan Kenobi…

She hated him, she remembered. Or did she?

She could feel their past encounters eating their way inside of her. Everything was so fuzzy and yet he was constant in a flash of red and blue.

Startled, the Republic General easily caught her stumbling form. In turn, she clung to him craving the safety and warmth of his body. It was like something inside her moved to swallow him… It was almost free… like energy… or a force inside of her.

It moved to bond with him… to keep a piece of the calm he offered so freely. She wanted him to help her with whatever ailed her soul.

Obi Wan watched unfocused irises before her eyes screwed shut.

"J..Just… s-top…"

Everything was moving too fast… Her heart, her lungs, her thoughts… She felt so unstable and her head ache seemed to get worse with each passing minute.

She groaned as he held her tighter against himself as they slid to the ground due to his shock of the situation. He could feel her unconsciously reaching out to him through the force. He felt the fear and confusion that ran rampant as feelings of anguish and anger began to make themselves known in her psyche.

Her migraine now felt like someone was bashing her skull against concrete.

"Asajj…" He voiced aloud and concerned through the force, "Gods, I'm sorry! I'm- focus… you have to focus… focus on me."

The Jedi Master swallowed the panic that bubbled beneath his skin. She arched and struggled against whatever was wrong internally, vocalizing her pain in moans and whimpers.

"Ben... Make it stop…" She gasped as her fingers wound themselves in his tan robes. "I'm sorry, just make it stop…"

"Asajj, darling please… Listen to me… just focus on my voice… let me guide you." He reached for her though the force projecting as much calm and comfort as he could. He cringed at the intensity of her feelings. The only way to calm her down involved force manipulation. Even though he was a Jedi master it didn't mean something couldn't go wrong.

Concentrating on his inner calm, the jedi master surged his energy through her psyche over and over until some part of her latched on duplicating the emotion.

Gradually her breathing and heart rate began to stabilize as he was able to fully secure her with his suggestion.

He breathed in relief as she calmed.

But then something he wasn't prepared for transpired. As he was slowly withdrawing from her psyche he found that something was off, holding him in place.

Obi Wan gasped at the warm feeling that flooded him as her force signature cocooned around his until the two separate energies mixed and merged becoming one.

Her thoughts were his and vice versa. He could feel the fragile bond that how somehow been forged.

Shocked, and somewhat dismayed, he fell against the cabinet with the realization that he was now connected to this woman in ways he'd never fathomed.

* * *

**A/N: Some fluff, daydreams and tension along with an almost halfway point… I figured you guys needed some semi-legit Obi Wan/Ventress interaction going on, hence my attempt at a *whispers***_**dirty scene**_**. They're really just beating around the bush with their feelings, so give them a minute to get over themselves.**

**Apologies for the length. It was originally going to be two chapters, but I decided to leave it as one. Thanx so much for sticking around! Seriously, I really am glad you guys decided to stick around- I just hope I don't disappoint. Feel free to leave questions for confusion and reviews for reviewing. **

**No 'Author's Note' next time. Lol. Promise!**

**On to Chapter 6!**

**Fun fact: I wrote almost 50 pages of stuff spelling Asajj's name 'Assaj…' Thank goodness for 'Find' and 'Replace.'**

**BTW: This lack of spacing suxxx.**


	6. X&Y

**X & Y- Coldplay**

"Is she alright?" Obi Wan immediately asked as Shuri shut the bedroom door to where the former assassin rested.

"She's fine," she assured motioning for him to follow her to the kitchen.

As soon as his charge had passed out, the Republic General immediately sent a call to the Naboo-ian doctor who had made it to the cottage in record timing. After checking her vitals She had assured Asajj that only her best interests were being acted upon.

"This is all very normal for the type of trauma she's dealing with." Shuri told the Republic General.

"Are you sure? She was like herself again. I could feel her anger and resentment," The jedi master said disappointedly.

Shuri frowned motioning for him to sit as she rummaged around in the fridge to grab them something to drink.

"Obi Wan, she wasn't angry with you," she assured confidently. "Just frustrated with her situation."

He could feel Asajj's exasperation through their bond. It was something he'd have to tell her about.

"Are you sure?" he asked wincing at the task and the emotion the other was projecting.

"I'm positive." She said slipping in doctor mode while handing him a bottle of water and taking a seat. "I promise it's normal. Memories are intangible in the sense that only specific things can be associated with them." She paused to take a sip of water. "The part of her brain in charge of behaviors is fine. She felt the need to act a certain way because of something she was reacting to."

"But she's been upset or put out before, what makes this time any different?"

"It was the intensity of her emotions that made her react the way she did. Your mind allows you to store so much information that the connections built to find that data is virtually limitless."

"What does that mean exactly?" he asked scrunching his brow in confusion.

"It means anything can act as a trigger. She hasn't really 'forgotten,' she's just missing certain connections. So when you made her feel a certain a way it had to have been similar to something she's felt before which is why she reacted the way she did."

He nodded taking everything in, "So…" He trailed not able to hide the discontent in his eyes, "She remembers now?"

"Some things but not everything."

Blue eyes which were downcast brightened just a bit.

"Well what about her physical response to what happened?"

The retired physician thought back to the conversation she'd just had with Asajj. "The headaches are because her mind is working overtime to fix itself. I wouldn't be too alarmed if she passed out from time to time while having flashbacks. It's more of a protective mechanism than anything else. The increased heart rate, and breathing are because she felt panicked."

She allowed him time to process everything she had just told him. Standing up she nosed around the kitchen spying on her friend's cooking.

"I don't know how to feel about this…"

The confusion in his voice prompted her to focus on the issue at hand. Making a face she turned to regard him noting the uncertainty in his expression and the slump of his posture.

"This is what you wanted, right? For her to remember?"

"I do," He defended lamely, toying with the cool bottle in his hands. "It's just I don't think I know what to do for her now… If there's anything I even can do… It's crazy the effect she has on me."

She hummed thoughtfully.

"Like today- I felt so helpless when she was lying there… But before that, I was so angry that I almost lost myself in whatever was suffocating her," he paused. "Would it be so horrible of me if I wished she didn't remember?" She could feel her heart go out to him. Crossing the room and cupping his face gently, she made sure his eyes were locked on hers before continuing

"No, it wouldn't, but you can't live in a dream world, Obi Wan. You'll both wake up disappointed. When I told you this would be hard, I wasn't just talking about it being hard for her." Smiling sadly, she let him go before glancing at the room door Ventress resided in.

"_Asajj what happened?" Shuri stood by the window looking down at the woman in bed. She had just finished checking her vitals and giving her a quick examination._

"_I don't know… One minute we're talking… and the next I'm so angry I can barely think straight."_

"_You were so angry you passed out?"_

"_No… We were arguing about me going out and knowing my identity and he was just so dismissive." She paused to gather her thoughts, "Can you imagine how frustrating this is? He tells me nothing and expects me to accept that. I can't, and I won't."_

_Shuri sighed, "I understand your frustration and I agree you shouldn't be kept in the dark," She turned to face her. "But I need to know what happened that had you in so much pain you passed out."_

"_I remembered some things and it made my head hurt."_

"_So your argument with him prompted your memory. How did they make you feel? The things you saw."_

_Silence. "They made me angry… and afraid."_

"_Of what?_

"_I remember the dark man with the dark eyes." Her gaze narrowed, "I remember he used to be someone important to me, but he hurt me. I can't remember what he did, but I felt enough to be weary and afraid of him."_

"_What dark man?" Shuri asked wrapping her arms around herself casually._

"_The man from the dreams with my sister."_

"_Can you recall his name?"_

"_No… I just remember him being very educated and formal… Like a duke… or a count."_

_Shuri nodded, "That's good." She said, "that's a lot more than what you knew a month ago."_

"_Who is he?" Asajj almost demanded._

_A sigh. "You know I can't tell you that…"_

_Ventress snorted. "'Obi Wan' said I was left to die… and I think the dreams that I have about him aren't just dreams… Maybe there's some truth to parts of it."_

"_Obi Wan said that?"_

"_Of course he didn't mean to… He blurted it out." Nodding the blonde tucked it away to ask him about later._

"_So some un-fond memories are coming to you. What about the war," Shuri changed subjects coming around to sit in the chair across from her. "Can you recall anything new about it?"_

_She scrunched her brow in deep thought. "Just that I was sick of it…And I didn't care about causes or sides anymore. I just wanted it to be over and if it couldn't be over then I wanted to be as far away from it as possible."_

"_What made you change your mind, or do you not know?"_

"_I'm not sure…" She murmured thoughtfully, "I just remember feeling trapped and degraded. Not at all like how I imagined I'd feel with the reputation I had."_

"_Oh? Your reputation?"_

_She smiled then, "I was a warrior. A good one… But it just doesn't add up. I remember the man my father was and I remember the lady my mother was… I don't think I followed."_

"_What makes you say that?"_

"_I just know… There's this guilt inside of me that I don't understand… its small right now, but every time I have a migraine, or a new memory its gets a little stronger."_

"_Perhaps, but that can't be all of it"_

_A shrug. "I think we were rivals of some kind. Obi Wan and myself… At first I thought we may have been… together."_

"_Really…" Shuri commented with smiling eyes. "Dirty thoughts in the midst of an argument, hmm." A light blush spread across pale cheeks_

"_**But**__ I saw us fighting. Couples don't fight like that."_

_Shuri shrugged feeling a little disappointed about not any having details. "Back to the guilt then. How do you really know?"_

"_I can see it in his eyes sometimes. Before it didn't make much sense, but now everything's beginning to make sense." _

_She paused averting her eyes to a speck on the floor. "It's for the same reason he keeps me here… I feel like a dirty secret even." _

_Silvers eyes sought out jade determinedly. "I know where I'm from and I know how much unlike myself I look now. I look like…" she trailed feeling foolish and sappy._

"_Like what?" Shuri prompted gently._

"_Like hope…" It was low and resentful._

"_What does that mean?"_

"_I look like someone I could've been if my life had been different… My tattoos are gone, and I have hair… I remember what my markings meant, and Ratattaki females don't have hair."_

"_He didn't want people to recognize you. He didn't have it done because he's ashamed of you. He wanted to protect you." Shuri said connecting the dots._

_Asajj frowned, "Maybe… But if he isn't ashamed why so much effort to hide me? Why'd he lie about his name?" Her tone was bitter and angry, but what really made the Naboo native blink was the amount of hurt in her voice. "Is he that offended by who I am? That's why we fought earlier… I asked him if that was the case and he couldn't answer."_

"_I can honestly tell you that he is in no way ashamed of you. You're recovery is his first and primary concern. If you're not sure of anything else, please be sure of that."_

_Asajj wanted to scoff at that statement, but something inside her told her it was the truth. So she just wiped roughly at the tears in her eyes before they began to fall. _

"_Anything else?" she asked in a clipped tone feeling embarrassed._

"_What about home?"_

_The former dark lady took a deep breath before giving a response. "I remember being alone and scared until I met a man… We weren't together but I remember him being my family until he wasn't anymore."_

"_What happened to him and your immediate family?"_

"_They died…" She stated aloofly. "I'm not sure how but I know that they did."_

"_And Obi Wan? It sounds like your feelings have changed quite a bit."_

"_I don't know how I feel about him anymore… Part of me wants this life so much that it hurts." She dropped her head on the pillow propped behind her._

"_And what of the other part?"_

"_It knows that this isn't real. Everything's so hazy when it comes to down to him, but I can feel this anger and resentment now that didn't use to be there." She laughed without humor, "And the crazy thing about it is that it feels so familiar that I'm sure I must have hated him."_

_Shuri raised a brow waiting for her to explain._

"_It's like reuniting with a childhood friend…" She sat up. "Even though you know you've outgrown each other you find yourself falling into the same old patterns because that's what you've always been to each other."_

"_Are you sure it was hate?"_

"_No… but I hate how he coddles me. If I'm willing to deal with my past, why isn't he?"_

"_He just doesn't want to see you hurt."_

"_Still…"She growled, "I'm not handicapped! It's downright insulting."_

"_Maybe you shouldn't fight it so hard… Is it such a bad thing to want this with him or for him to want to spare you?"_

_Her face flushed as her silver eyes widened considerably. "I-I never would have been here if I hadn't lost my memory." she sputtered defensively._

"_True but your relationship with him is completely objective in the sense that you had no preconceived notions or biasness to go by. Besides, I wouldn't be here if he was out to hurt you." _

"_But, I don't know that," The darker haired woman insisted._

"_Asajj, your experiences here are no less valid than what you're previous experiences were. I know this is hard for someone as stubborn as you to accept but could you at least try to not insult me."_

"_Fine," The other had rolled her eyes and crossed her arms petulantly across her chest. "But I still want to know and if he isn't willing to provide me with the information I need, I'll have to get it myself."_

_Shuri sighed, wondering why she ever decided to get involved with this mess._

"_At least let me talk to him before you do anything. He'll be livid if you did anything like what you're hinting at behind his back. Now take these… It'll help with your headaches."_

"Listen," She began gathering her thoughts, "I know you want her to figure things out on her own, but you may want to consider dropping names and events to help her along the way. Nothing too big, but just enough information to give her a foundation. Telling her about what little you did about Dooku was a good thing. Even if you were just pissed off. It gives her insight on the situation."

"I don't know… I don't want to hurt her by rushing her." His expression was thoughtful.

"No matter what you do, she's going to be hurt."

"What do you mean? So I should just push her along cause it's going to hurt anyway?" She could hear the affront in his voice and see the disbelief in his eyes.

"That came out wrong!" She quickly amended. "What I mean is she's going to have to face herself and I imagine she'll deal with some things that she won't like. Painful things… So, you'll have to be ready to deal with that. But more than that you'll have to be honest. If she remembers something and it turns out you lied about it, it'll only hurt her trust in you."

"And lying by omission counts," she added as an afterthought.

"…"

"She's ready to remember and _**she is going to remember**_, Obi Wan. There's not much you can do about that."

"What did she remember?"

"I can't tell you that but I'd love to hear about what happened from you…"

Sighing, the Republic General gave her a quick synopsis about what happened from his end. When he was done they both felt tired and confused about the situation.

Shuri didn't know what to do about the strong feelings the two had for each other. She already reported to Obi Wan on Asajj's progress weekly. And before this, things had been going rather well.

'Too well,' she supposed.

Even though, today had been different. There was a spark of something that hadn't been there before. When Shuri had talked to the person in question, she was irritable and frustrated. She really hadn't recalled much about the sith or her previous employment.

She did worry about the other's mood swings and her now mental connection to Obi Wan. She didn't know much about the inner workings of the jedi but she had a feeling that whatever had transpired between the two, it wasn't normal and it would eventually lead to problems.

Thinking of a way to convince Obi Wan to give her information about the bonding nature of the force, the Naboo native sighed at the task before her.


	7. Lost Animal

**A/N: Such an odd playlist. Here's the link to check this one out: **** /heladonegro/a-lost-animal-baile-de-chagra****. But on with the story- Read and Review! **

**And as always, Thanx for sticking around!**

* * *

**A Lost Animal (Baile de Chagra)- Feat. School of Seven Bells**

It had been about two days since the big blow up. The interactions between the two had been minimal and strained. Both had thought a lot about their respective sides.

The Jedi Master had been standing outside of Asajj's bedroom for five minutes gathering the will to engage her. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his spine and knocked.

"Asajj?"

No response.

"Can we please talk?"

A grunt could be heard through the door.

"No," came her muffled reply.

"Please… A lot happened the day before and I wanted the chance to explain."

"Go away, Kenobi. There's nothing you can say to me."

"Asajj, you have to understand what happened. There are some things I need you to know that I didn't know how to explain. I'd love it if-"

The door was yanked open to reveal a disgruntled woman with an irritated expression.

"What part of 'no, go away' did you not understand."

"Asajj, please…. I didn't think-"

"Don't worry, _**sweet**_, I'll be sure to put it in terms that even one as thick-headed as you can comprehend." She smiled brightly before slamming the door in his face.

Sighing at her antics, Obi Wan grimaced at the irritation she was projecting. He gathered his thoughts to try again.

"I guess I'll go to the markets alone…" He waited five seconds for her to crack her door open and peer up at him cautiously.

"The markets?" She narrowed her eyes not trusting the genuineness of his offer. "You're asking me to come with you to the markets after you made such a fuss about it- What's the catch?"

"No catch, I just thought it'd be nice to get you out of the house for a while. But of course I understand if you don't want to." He made to leave until slim fingers wrapped around his wrist.

"Wait!" She blushed before lowering her voice, "I'll bite… but only because I really want out of here. If suffering through your endless chatter is the price I have to pay, then so be it."

"How selfless of you," he commented dryly. "But there is something you have to follow."

Rolling her eyes and transferring her weight from one foot to the next, the former assassin looked on boredly.

"You can't go by your name in public."

Asajj's eyes widened considerably, "Why not?"

"We're going incognito."

"Are you serious? Why?"

"It's within both our best interest if you aren't recognizable," he said simply.

Biting her bottom lip as she studied his profile, she decided against demanding a more satisfying answer. Instead she nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"Anything else?"

"No. I'll be waiting out front." Turning to leave, she tightened her grip on his wrist.

"You can't be serious," she grumbled looking over his appearance. "Aren't you going to change, too?"

"What?"

"You can't leave here looking like that."

Glancing down at his Jedi robes, he frowned, "Why not?"

"You look like a jedi," She scoffed. "Aren't we supposed to be incognito?"

Snickering, the Republic General brushed away her concern. "I don't think anyone would ever suspect the two of us being anything." Dropping his wrist, her gaze followed the same line of motion as her jaw tightened.

"Asajj that came-" The door slammed, "out wrong…"

"I just meant that we didn't run in the same circles." He shouted leaning against the door, "I didn't mean to offend you!"

"…."

Sighing, he went to wait out front.

Muttering curses about the man who claimed to be her savior, Asajj ripped through her drawers in search of something decent to wear.

'Stupid jedi…. He thinks he's so smart…'

"'I don't think anyone would ever suspect the two of us being anything…'" She mocked angrily.

Ripping open her closet she grimaced at the conservative violet colored dress she found in the back. Her expression slowly lightened as an idea formed in her cranium.

"Let's see what the people think when they see you with me now." Grabbing the dress, she immediately set to work ripping and sewing fabric.

The violet halter crisscrossed around her chest before tying in the back fitting her body like a dream. Admiring the dark look of the garment and the skin it showed, she quickly attached a black layer of lace over the soft fabric to up its appeal.

Donning a floor length sarong that allowed matching bottoms and legs to show, she pulled on a pair of over-the-knee leather boots to compete the look.

Grabbing a brush, she braided her hair into an exotic bun allowing bangs to rest attractively on her forehead. Rummaging through a box of cosmetics Shuri brought her, she lightly dusted her skin with diamond dust giving her complexion a little shimmer.

Next she outlined her eyes with kohl, smearing, blending and reapplying until she achieved the sultry look she wanted. Finally, she applied a dark plum shade of lipstick before blowing a kiss to the mirror.

Checking over her appearance one last time, she grinned at the results.

"You'll wish we were associated…"

Obi Wan stared at the horizon noting the dipping sun. He'd been waiting for at least an hour.

"How long does it take to get dressed," He moaned running a hand through his hair. Staring at the pair of flamuspests he'd rented from a farmer he sighed.

"Do you think I should go in and get her?" He asked the beast beside him.

Blinking lazily, the sandy colored long-necked creature yawned before spitting. The darker colored flamuspest only snorted as if the answer were obvious.

Making a face the Jedi Master smiled uneasily, "Right… On that note, I think I shall retrieve our other companion." The animal sniffed to which Obi wan just laughed and turned to go to the house. Only he never got a chance to move for the fear of tripping over his jaw.

Ventress stood a few feet away from him walking towards him with the allure befitting a siren. The violet halter and open-fronted sarong contrasted wonderfully against her sparkling skin, hugging and draping in all the right ways. Her glacial eyes seemed to glow because of the charcoal color that lined her partially lidded eyes.

Asajj's coy smile faltered just a bit as she watched cerulean eyes darken ever so slowly. There was something about his eyes that always made her second guess herself. He noted the bangs and how they bought attention to her heart shaped face. Taking in every feature, he paused admiring the fullness of her lips and rich color she had swiped over them.

His pulse sounded loudly in his ears as she stopped a breath away from him. A slender digit tapped the bottom of his chin, urging it up. Obi Wan scowled, annoyed at the effect she had on him.

"Don't go catching flies," she teased softly. "It's unbecoming of someone such as yourself." He could feel her smugness through the link they shared which urged him to react. There was another emotion pulsing, but he couldn't be sure who it came from.

The sun cast a light glow on the Jedi as she smiled softly, realizing he'd decided against the robes, wearing soft whites instead.

"You changed," she remarked with a soft lull in her voice. "It looks nice… like you should be on vacation somewhere." Her hand dropped grazing the cotton fabric.

He blushed lightly. "Well, y-you were right. You look… We're just going to the market," he finished lamely.

Asajj laughed sensually, "Don't worry Kenobi, no one will think we're together. They'll just wonder at your striking female companion." She swore she could feel his agreement with the word 'striking.'

The two had been riding for about five minutes before Obi Wan broke the uneasy silence. Because she was unaware of the attachment they shared, he was privy to the mixed emotions she felt in regards to him- especially her mistrust. It seemed to have amplified over the past few days.

"I wanted to talk to you about some things that happened last we were together," he voiced stealing a glance at her profile.

Asajj pursed her lips.

"Can we wait till the ride home to talk about this, let's not ruin our outing before it's started."

He frowned, anything but ignorant to the comment she'd thrown back at him, "I just wanted you to know that everything I've done, I've done out of concern for you. Not to make you feel like less or to change you into something else."

She flushed at his words, stilling as the sentiment behind him. Moved though she was, her frustration and anger were more prominent.

"Then why did you? How do I know you're not trying to pull one over on me?" she asked eyes straight ahead.

She'd thought about it all day. How one person could be so invested in another if there was nothing in it for them, was alien to her. The more she thought of it, the more her image of him twisted and shifted. They weren't friends or at least they hadn't been…. She didn't know and at this point she wasn't sure what to believe.

"It wasn't my intention. When… you woke up, I didn't know what you would do or how you'd be. This place, your appearance, me, Shuri…" He paused as if to gather his thoughts. "When I find out the extent of your injuries I wanted to be sure that if you never remembered, you'd have another chance at some kind of life."

Pulling the reins of her flamuspest, as the wind ruffled through the air and trees, she couldn't help but glance at her companion feeling the smallest bit pleased he felt that much for her.

"And you couldn't tell me this?"

Stopping his beast as well, he responded. "I was shocked, and maybe a little hurt, that you had to ask."

They'd passed through grasslands and elm forests before they reached a worn path to a town. The air smelled of wildflowers and greenery. The scenery would have been a lovely sight to behold if the two had been paying attention.

"I'm sorry, but how else was I supposed to take it? You're supposed to be helping me Kenobi, but every time I ask you shut me down. I feel like I can't trust you."

Frowning, the Republic General hated when she said his name with attitude.

"I know this is difficult for you… but to be so suspicious of me when all I've done is help you-"

"Which is exactly my point?" She cried startling her beast.

Feeling annoyed, she began calming the dark haired animal with coos of assurance. Narrowing her eyes, she asked him, "Why do you care so much?"

"I can't care about you?" His tone taken back.

"I didn't say that!" She snapped, turning her attention away from him still managing to comfort her animal. "You lied about your name for heaven's sake!" A sigh. "You're an important man, and yet you're here with me every other weekend… Supposedly on 'business.' It sounds like the start of some torrid love affair. How can I have confidence in that?"

His ears burned at her insinuations, "I can assure you that that's not the case." He felt Shuri's words coming round to bite him. "What can I say to convince you I'm not trying to hurt you?"

"The truth, and since that's unlikely- nothing."

Pulling ahead of her and turning into a halt, he looked her in the eyes the determinedly, "Do you feel like I'm lying?"

Startled by his actions she immediately stopped furrowing her brow in confusion.

"What? This is-"

"Just **stop**… for a minute… Does it _feel_ like I'm lying?"

He could feel her confusion and anxiousness at his statement.

"How-"

"Just close your eyes, and tell me what you feel…"

Studying his expression, she noted the blaze in his eyes and stubbornness in his frame. Something told her to comply. Allowing her eyes to flutter shut, she reluctantly followed his instructions.

At first she felt nothing but the crisp breeze in the air.

"This-"

He shushed her as he reached out to her with his force signature grasping and pervading her psyche.

Immediately she was flooded with a multitude of emotions centered on her, but nothing that came from her. Oddly enough, it felt familiar. Silver eyes flew open as she was wrapped in his concern and honesty.

"O-obi Wan? Wha…" Concentrating on this new transcendent energy, her eyes drifted shut again as she felt her psyche lost in his.

He found it both comforting and disturbing to have her in his head this way. Guiding her energy around, all was silent between the two. Only the flamuspests yawned and shifted unconcerned with whatever was going on with their riders.

"W-when did this happen?" Her voice was quiet as her eyes blinked open. Her mind was a jumbled mess as her expression was totally surprised.

"When you passed out," was his quiet response. He could feel her slowly withdraw from his psyche as he began his explanation of how this came to be.

The rest of the trip had been made in complete silence. When they made it into town the Jedi Master had found a spot for their animals to rest and feed. As soon as she could, the former assassin separated herself from his company saying she needed time and space to process everything.

Watching her lithe figure until she was lost to the crowd, Obi Wan didn't know what to think. He hoped his honesty had been enough to quell her suspicious thoughts instead of make things worse.

The market of Sri-La was a sight to behold to the former black lady. Shops and stands littered the way. There were all kinds of species there in this provincial feeling place. There were wagons loaded with various crops as farmer's tried to interest people in their harvests. Dress shops, restaurants, antiques, trinkets and more were mixed into this place.

She wished Obi Wan had never told her about this stupid bond. Not only was she forced to endure someone inside her head, but now she couldn't enjoy her one chance of freedom. Had he learned anything because of this connection they shared? She felt her face flush. What exactly did it mean for the two of them?

Sighing, Asajj tossed her bangs out of her eyes moving on. She felt so out of place looking the way she was in a place such as this. It didn't help that some of the people openly stared and whispered, even if others tried to be discreet.

Before her thoughts could drift back to her problems, a young man bumped into her. Emerald eyes sparkled back at her as boyishly masculine features looked on apologetically.

'Ky?'

She felt the world stop around her as she stared at his fleeing backside.

"_So what exactly does this mean?" She had asked in awe slowly allowing her eyes to refocus on the handsome face in front her._

_Green eyes sparkled back at her. "It means we're connected, Little One."_

_Leaning forward on her haunches, 16-year old Asajj Ventress could feel her heart flutter at the thought of belonging to someone again. She had been lost for so long until this brown-haired man quite literally fell from the sky and mended what little faith she had left in the world._

"_If that's how you want to see it," he laughed causing her expression to be even more surprised._

"_Ky!" She breathed feeling his aura swirl around and hold her own. Throwing herself into his solid frame and wrapping her wiry arms around him, she relished in the comfort and stability she felt from him and their link._

_The former knight smiled softly as he returned her embrace, resting his chin atop her head. The duo were spending the night in a local inn after having made a long trek through one of the planet's many deserts._

"_So you can hear my thoughts?"_

"_Yes," His chest rumbled against her face as his gentle voice floated around them. "But only if you want me too. You can withdraw yourself from me in that way, but your emotions are something different."_

_Concentrating on the gentle aura that was her master and friend, she directed her thoughts at him 'What does that mean?'_

"_It means that even though I may not know your thoughts, I'll be able to feel what you feel always, and the same can be said of me."_

_Pulling away, she felt a strong blush color her face. "Always?" She squeaked._

_He laughed lightly tapping her chin with his fingers. "Yes, but if you focused more it wouldn't be nearly as pronounced as it is now."_

_Grumbling, she rolled her eyes at the thought of the meditation lessons Ky insisted they do every morning and night. 'This is Rattatak,' She would say, 'The ground even bleeds here.'_

"_Only because some warriors allow themselves to lose their head in battle. Passion is fine so long as you are in control of it. I promised I'd help Little One, but you have to let me the way I know how."_

_Slapping her hands over her face, the young girl hadn't meant to project that._

'_Sorry…'_

"_It's fine… Perhaps this will serve as motivation for our exercises," He added knowingly._

_Nodding, Asajj still marveled at the newfound connection she shared with her teacher._

"_That isn't the only reason you did this is it?" She asked shrewdly. Leave it to Ky to pull a lesson out of nowhere._

"_No, it's just an added perk," He joked. Turning serious he frowned, "I worry about you, Asajj… All the time. You've been through so much too soon and I hate not knowing what to do. At least now you won't ever feel alone."_

"_And you won't either," She added firmly locking her gaze with his to which he smiled. _

_The two were all each other had._

"_Is it permanent?"_

"_Yes… it's a bond only breakable by death."_

_Relishing in the calmness and positivity that they fed to each other, she embraced him again._

'_This is ours,' she thought grinning her brightest when she felt Narec agree._

* * *

**A/N: Of course her beloved Ky has to be present. You'll probably see one more scene, later on, involving him. Next up is a bonding sort of thing, after this upcoming chapter, I think things'll reach their boiling point. I'm dying to know your thoughts as these parts feel slow… **

**Also, one of the greatest things about this story is the idea that because she doesn't really know who she is, I'm able to make her (Asajj) a little softer. But it's just as challenging because I have to make sure that her old personality trickles in too without making her seem too soft or too cold. I don't want you guys to be like 'Who the f*** are these people?'**

**Same mechanics with Obi Wan too. He's kinda crazy about this woman, so as time goes on you start to see him do things out of his norm. So if they're a bit OOC that's why. If it seems like everything is happening too fast or too slow PLEASE let me know. **

**Review, please! Thanx a ton!**


	8. Afterglow

**Afterglow- Vanessa Carlton**

"There you are," he said lightly sitting beside her. She'd let her hair down allowing dark locks to grace her shoulders which in turn obscured her face from his view. He couldn't be sure of her mood as he dared not try the link between them.

Ventress glanced at him before wistfully staring off into the crowd again. The two were seated on a fountain's edge that rested in the center of the town. The design of the piece was simple much like the nature of Sri La. The sound of running water had a way of calming the frustrated thoughts of the former acolyte, it gave her the stillness she needed to process everything that had happened over the past few days.

"Are you still upset?" came his quiet voice.

She sighed softly before completely turning to regard her jedi. He really was good to her. Placing a pale hand against his cheek, she smiled at the confusion shinning in cerulean eyes as she stroked his beard.

'_No,'_ she communicated through their link. He'd been as honest as he could and the more she thought about it, the more she realized she did trust him.

Raising a brow at her easy acceptance of their link his confusion shone through brightly.

"I don't understand…" He breathed placing a hand atop hers before pulling it down to intertwine their fingers. "I thought you'd be livid."

She laughed before taking a deep breath and squeezing his hand in return. The sky was the color of rose-lilies as the sun was beginning to make to its descent into night.

"Honestly, I didn't know what to think," came her velvet tone, "I didn't know what you meant or what this would do, given our situation."

She paused and closed her eyes before continuing. "Somewhere in between being angry with you and upset with this entire ordeal, I had an epiphany. A reminder if you will."

"What do you mean?" He asked urging her to look at him through their connection. Silver eyes peaked up at him almost shyly.

"I remembered I'd already had this connection with someone before."

'_And he'd be awfully upset with me if he could see me now…'_

Obi Wan's thoughts immediately turned to Dooku.

She shook her head, the least bit concerned with the count and who he was to her.

She meditated long and hard to feel the calm she was feeling now. She'd let nothing ruin it. Not even the identity of the dark man who plagued her dreams. At least Ky would be proud of that.

"My old Master… Ky Narec."

His face brightened in recognition.

She smiled sadly leaning against him, enjoying the quiet hum of the town as things were winding down. "I remembered what it felt like to be bound to him that way and it made me realize how similar the two of you are."

'_How you feel so much alike…'_

She smiled softly at the warm pleasure he felt in regards to her words.

"It just opened my eyes to the truth I already knew about you."

He swallowed nervous as to what she'd say next, but appreciative of all she had said.

"And what truth is that?"

"That there are worse people to be stuck with."

He rolled his eyes to which she grinned.

"You truly are a fool… pure and noble…"

'_The worst kind…'_ He finished mentally with his heart hammering in his chest.

She laughed, "Yes… the worst kind."

Suddenly Shuri's words rang loudly in his thoughts.

"_She's ready to remember and __**she is going to remember**__, Obi Wan. There's not much you can do about that."_

Thinking back to how he spent the previous day, he made sure he'd drawn his thoughts away from her as he'd thought about the three datapads he had locked away back at the cottage.

"_You're doing the right thing…"_

"_I know… but…" His fingertips hovered above the holo-board. _

"_This is nice, but nothing lasts forever Obi Wan. And the sooner you allow her some truth, the sooner she can be whole."_

_Sighing, Obi Wan began the download sequence necessary to retrieve the information he needed. Shuri smiled kindly as the information began to dissolve onto the datapads. The technology buzzed as she regarded her companion. The soft blue glow of the device intensified the conflicting emotions projected in his expression._

_Minutes later the two were staring at the three pads lost to their own thoughts._

"… Kenobi!"

Startled, the Jedi Master hadn't realized he'd fallen into his thoughts.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

Asajj rolled her eyes, "I said maybe we should go, it's getting late."

"R-right," he stammered rising from his spot.

"What were you thinking of?" She asked following his lead and rising.

He was silent before answering her question, "Just that I have something important to give you when we return."

"Really," She hummed locking her arm with his. "What is it?"

"It's a surprise…"

Asajj snorted, "You're really bad at this… I thought surprises were supposed to be good."

He chuckled tiredly, "Pardon me if I'm not used to this…"

She patted his arms affectionately, "My mother was horrible at these sorts of things too. But when it really mattered she was really good at talking sense into me."

He mentally caught wind of a willowy figure who had been the mother to the woman beside him. She was tall and striking in a sultry kind of way.

"Tell me about her," he asked genuinely curious about her family. It had occurred to him that he didn't know much about this woman whom he had an obsessive streak over.

"She was kind… and fierce." Asajj smiled, "A lot like me in some ways, but in a softer much forgiving kind of way. My mother knew what it was to hurt and she didn't fault others for being fallible. Maybe not like me," she laughed. "She was lovely… much like a lady and we adored her for it."

He smiled at the thoughts Asajj projected while she spoke. He saw her mother and sister dancing around the kitchen in a swirl of skirts and infectious laughter… A soft blaze twinkling in lilac eyes whenever they landed upon her precious daughters and astute husband.

"She sounds wonderful," He commented sincerely.

"She was."

As the two walked back to the post for their falumpasets, Asajj found herself telling him about the family she had from what felt like a lifetime ago. She spoke of her father with his steely gaze and booming laughter. She told him about his love for their village, and his guidance in her life. She talked about Esmee, with her passion for life and the innocence she radiated.

"She could be so annoying at times, but she always gave me the benefit of doubt. She was fierce too, in her own special way."

He allowed her familiarity and nostalgia to wash over him saturating their link with a special kind of contentment that only came from reminiscing.

"Do you remember what happened to them?"

"No…" Every time she tried, her efforts were rewarded with a dull headache.

He opened his mouth to speak until another voice interrupted.

"Obi Wan? What are you doing here?"

The two paused as they had come face-to-face with what seemed to be one of the palace's handmaidens.

Upon closer scrutiny the Jedi Master was shocked to see a Republic Senator, much less Queen, in the dwindling market of Sri La.

"Senator Amidala," He almost stumbled, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked with a slight bow.

Padme smiled charmingly returning the gesture, "I could ask you the same thing, as I have family nearby. But to find a Jedi in these parts that makes for a much more reasonable inquiry, don't you think Master Obi Wan."

Ventress bit the inside of her cheek amused by the exchange between the two. Mentally frowning, she could feel the worry he emitted in waves. Asajj couldn't help but study the petite brunette.

'_This is serious, she can't find out who you are."_

"_And who is she?"_

"_Senator Padme Amidala, Queen of Naboo."_

The woman was beautiful in a classical kind of way. Her figure slight and the glow about her face painted a romantic notion of youth and bliss. The name stroke a cord and a quick flash of familiarity.

"_Don't be so nervous, General, she is but a woman, no."_

"_Not just any woman-"_

"_Then allow me."_

The mental exchange between the two was over in seconds. Focusing on lightening her voice, Ventress almost laughed at the surprise she felt in Kenobi.

"General Kenobi, your manners," trailed a refined voice akin to silk.

"F-forgive me," He fumbled uncharacteristically. "Senator Amidala, meet my companion-"

"Priya Suerte," Asajj supplied benevolently. Her silver eyes danced with discovery as she extended her hand, only bowing when the other woman grasped it firmly.

"It's such an honor to meet you," she greeted with a smile. "Queen Amidala of Naboo, when Master Kenobi told me we'd pass through here I never thought we'd fall into the company of royalty."

Padme regarded Obi Wan's companion carefully under the guise of polite neutrality. This 'Priya' looked familiar with her wide almond like eyes, and chalky white skin. Even though, she didn't pick up any malevolence from the exotic looking woman with flowing dark locks, she instantly felt wary.

Asajj managed to blush at the subtle scrutiny of the Queen's gaze.

"My dress must look quite strange to you," she laughed demurely, "I'm afraid I'm a Chandrillan at heart."

"Chandrilla?" Padme repeated tilting her head softly, "You're a ways away from home Ms. Suerte, may I inquire as to why?"

"Just as you have… 'family' in these parts, I have a friend here that I come to visit every so often should my obligations allow me." Padme narrowed her eyes at 'Priya's innocent use of the word 'family.'

'_Asajj…' Kenobi trailed warningly._

'_Relax, If I'm anything it's definitely an accomplished liar.'_

'_How did you…'_

'_Watch and learn…'_

"Really… And what is it that you do?"

Asajj bowed her head in a show of humility, "My mother's a dancer and I expect I should follow in her footsteps… If you ever tour that way you should look into seeing her, she's quite amazing if you're into that sort of thing."

"You'll have to show me some time," Padme added thoughtfully.

Asajj's face brightened, " I could show you now," she laughed giving her hips a shake as her hands snaked seductively in front of her with subtle turns of her wrist.

Padme chuckled, before her expression melted into something much more good-natured. She couldn't place it but there was something dangerously familiar about this seemingly light-hearted girl. Maybe Obi Wan would provide her with more insight.

There was nervous tension in the air that hung around her jedi friend. Even though it was subtle, Padme had known the Jedi Master for a while and knew a little of his moods.

"I couldn't possibly with Obi Wan about. Which reminds me… How is it that you two know each other?" Brown eyes wandered deliberately over to blue, politely dismissing the other lady. Asajj smirked mentally.

'_She's good… Word of advice, Kenobi, the best lies are always layered in truth. And relax…'_

'_Thanks…' _He replied wryly to which her laughter echoed.

"The friend she went to see is a mutual acquaintance. I'm just escorting her back to her stay. It can be quite dangerous at night as you know," He replied truthfully.

"Speaking of escorts," Asajj trailed slowly locking eyes with Padme's. "Where's yours?"

Padme blinked. "What do you mean?"

"For a Queen to be dressed as such, one would think she's sneaking about to do something…'naughty.'"

Padme could feel the heat creep up her neck as she tried to controlled her expression. Obi Wan regarded the two silently, wondering about the catty stench in the air.

Asajj giggled good-naturedly before sobering and winking. "Teasing! I imagine the palace can be such a bore. I'd sneak out for the peace too," She assured. "Back home, I do the same thing. It drives my Mother ten feet into the air!"

"Right," Padme supplied coolly. "Well I should find my way back home as well." She glanced at Asajj as she spoke. "The night can hide _many _sordid things, as I'm sure you know. You two should watch yourselves."

'_Touché.''_

'Especially you, Priya.' She added mentally.

"To you as well, Senator," Was Asajj's knowing reply. The three exchanged goodbyes and continued towards their respective destination, Padme slower than the others. Sharp brown eyes watched as the two disappeared.

"What was that?" He questioned when they reached their flamuspests. "You were a completely different person."

Ventress laughed deeply, her voice the same smooth velvet sound it once was. "That, Kenobi, is how you play the game." He found he liked her voice most like this. The tinkling sound of innocence did not suit her.

"I understand that, but to antagonize her that way…"

"It was either that or allow her to nose about… I could handle it, but I know how _upstanding_ you are. Even if she did suspect something, she won't say anything… Besides she's hiding something herself."

Obi Wan hummed thoughtfully, 'Like what?'

"And reveal my secrets? Where's the fun in that, General?"

"You're bluffing," He called shrewdly.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not…" She trailed wriggling her brow teasingly to which he rolled his eyes.

"You're becoming more and more like your old self every day," He muttered saddling up.

"Is that bad?" She asked staring openly into his face.

The Jedi Master sighed obviously annoyed, "Not at all."

Asajj smirked as she swung her leg over her beast, "Good."

_The best lies __**are **__always layered in truth._

* * *

**A/N: So Padme saw them together but she isn't sure what to make of this new discovery as 'Priya' hints at knowing some 'forbidden' things. Girls can kinda spot that thing in each other, btw. But I haven't decided if I want all that drama in the story… I suppose she could casually mention it to Anakin who confronts him later. Granted there'll be something similar (drama-wise), but do we really want Anakin involved?**

**Thanx for sticking around. Shit will be hitting fans in a bit, so I kinda wanted a nice little bonding scene before it got weird. Comments, questions, concerns? You know what to do! But just in case- Please REVIEW!**

**Fun Fact: My Ventress is modeled after some of my fav characters including Princess Azula (Avatar) and Princess Natasha Cassadine (General Hospital).**


	9. Runaway

**Fun Fact: This chapter has been ready for over a year.**

**Runaway- Yeah Yeah Yeahs**

"Mama, do you think Asajj remembered?" Adel asked with big brown eyes.

Shuri smiled down at her oldest daughter as they continued up the path to Asajj's cottage. It had been a few days since the girls met Asajj. Laurna, her 5-year-old had taken an immediate liking to the woman talking about her non-stop, while Adella, 10, had hung back not sure what to make of the former acolyte.

Adel knew Asajj had done bad things but after watching her with her mother and sister she couldn't understand how someone so fragile could be so horrible.

_Poising her hand to knock on the door, Adel stopped herself when she heard her mother speaking to someone. A look of confusion crossed her features a she thought back on the day. She didn't remember anyone stopping in… _

_So who was her mother speaking to? Alone… _

_In her father's study. _

"_And what do you want from me General? I fail to see how I can be of assistance to you." Her mother sounded as professional as ever._

"_Ahh, but I think you do." The voice was warm and cultured. It sounded so familiar, but Adel couldn't remember where she'd heard it from. Pressing her ear closer to the door, she furrowed her brow in deep concentration._

"_You can't be serious…" _

"_But I am."_

"_I'm not in that field anymore… besides she's a criminal in the eyes of the Republic." _

"_**Criminal?**__"__Small hands quickly covered her mouth as Adel realized she'd loudly voiced her concerns. She could hear her mother groan in irritation._

"_Adella! How many times have I told you that it's impolite to eavesdrop!"_

Her mother had opened the study to give the girl a stern talking to. After that she escorted her to room and made her sit until her father came home. Adel never found out who her mother was talking to, but she figured it had to have been about the raven haired woman they'd met and sat with.

That conversation happened months ago and ever since, things had been different. Adel was positive this is where her mother had been going for the past months.

She found that Asajj was reserved and outspoken. Boisterous with her sister and then unsure with her mother. It was confusing because she had thought so many bad things about her and none of them seemed to hold any weight to the woman her mother called friend. She stilled remembered that day Asajj baby-sat them.

Adel huffed, she never got to know what went on!

It was then that her sister decided to interrupt her musings.

"Of course not Della." Laurna supplied latching onto her mother's hand pushing blonde bangs out of her face. "Member? Mama said she hit her head and forgot everything. So, we have to r'mind her."

Adel fixed her sister with a look, rolling her eyes, "Not **that** stuff Laurna…"

Laurna shrugged turning her attention to her mother.

"Did you bring the cookie magic, Mama?"

"It's not cookie magic, Laurna, it's cookie dough."

"I can call it cookie magic if I want!" Laurna cried, "Mama can't I call it cookie magic?"

Shuri listened to her daughters' antics with a weary smile. Such silly girls she had. "Of course Laurna-love. You can call the cookie dough cookie magic. Adel not so harsh."

Shuri couldn't believe things had gotten to the point where she trusted her children to be around the notorious 'Asajj Ventress.' She thought back to the conversation that started everything.

"_General…"_

"_No harm was done. She wouldn't have heard anything anyway." Shuri stared at him as if he were absurd. This just proved her point. Adella hadn't heard enough to know much, but she still heard and that was enough to make any mother hesitant._

"_Isn't there someone else you can ask?" _

"_No one that I trust. At least with her…" His expression was thoughtful. He paced the room he was in before turning to take in her expression on the holograph transmission device. _

_He knew if he could convince her, she'd help him with everything she had. Jade eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. _

"_You do understood that what you're asking me is treason and punishable by death, right?" Obi Wan paled. She had him there, but she'd have to realize he'd take precautions. Obi Wan wasn't stupid, he wouldn't leave her unprepared._

"_It's not as bad as it sounds-" _

'_Not as bad as it sounds?' Shuri stared at the holographic being transmitted with a look that screamed, 'Have you lost it?'_

"_You'd have me harbor a fugitive?" Was her heated reply, "And a jedi assassin at that!" She added in a whisper. "I have my family to think of… I- She can't stay here."_

"_I'd never ask you to do anything that would jeopardize your family!" The jedi master was completely serious. _

"_And how is this not jeopardizing my family?" Did he not know who Asajj Ventress was?_

"_Do you trust me?" _

_The Naboo Native couldn't help the sigh that followed. Obi Wan had done a lot for her and while she really wanted to help him, she really didn't see how she could. Shuri couldn't understand why the man was so insistent. Wasn't this the same woman who tortured him and tried her hand at killing him every chance she got? There had to be a way for him to understand her position._

"_Gene-"_

"_Do you trust me?" His expression was determined. Shuri didn't know how much this woman meant to him, but she had feeling it was all going to come out soon. However, she still didn't feel comfortable with the idea. Was he trying to guilt her?_

"_Of course I trust __**you**__, it's __**her **__I'm not so sure about."_

"_Then trust in my judgment… You don't know what she's capable of-" _

"_Of razing my home to the ground?" was her sarcastic interruption._

"_That's not what I meant. She's so much more than that… And after all that's happened, she needs me. I can fix this, Shuri. I can help her." She watched as his expression became pleading. His eyes were brilliant when he spoke of her. Wanting. Suddenly the conversation turned and the renowned jedi's intentions were becoming clear to her. _

_She didn't know how to respond to this, so her words were as honest as her experience had allowed._

"_Obi Wan…" She began softly, "She's not some broken vase you can put back together… She has to heal herself. It's a great deal more complicated than you think."_

"_I'm aware of that, but how can she fix herself if no one ever gives her the chance? She's not a tool or some mindless droid people can play with it. She's angry and confused, and I won't turn a blind eye as she's swallowed by her own demons!" _

_His eyes burned with passion as his voice rose in frustration. Both became startled at his declaration. Obi Wan in some kind of realization, Shuri in shock. "I promised her that I'd stay… jedi don't break promises…" he added softly, still surprised at the intensity of his feelings. Her response was quiet._

"_They don't have attachments either." _

"_It's not.. It's not like that... I-" She smiled sadly at his denial. To save him his name she decided to take a chance._

"_Just answer me this Obi Wan: Is she worth it?" _

"_Yes." There was so much hope and resolve in his eyes, she hadn't had the heart to turn him down._

"_Ok," came her soft reply, "What would you have me to do?"_

Before long the trio found the cottage in their line of vision.

"Mama! Mama! Can we knock on the door?" Laurna asked giddily, excited to see her friend again. Shuri smiled, amused at the bond Asajj had formed with her daughters.

She nodded watching as her girls launched across the field to bang on the door.

"Don't forget the Moon Ceremony!" Adella yelled chasing after her sister, "Mama said to remind her!"

Moments later the two were panting banging on the door with smiles on their faces.

"Asajj! We're here!"

"Open…"

* * *

"_-__**UP! Nobody home, eh?**__"_

_Asajj pulled her sibling closer to herself trying to will her terror away._

"_Asajj…"Esmee whimpered clinging to her sister with a death grip, "I'm scared… What if they find us?"_

_Her mother had cried before she locked them away. 'Stay quiet. And for god's sake, Asajj, don't leave your sister!'_

_The two trembled as the banging continued on what they knew to be their front door._

_The night sang songs of death and despair as the two girls were hidden away from the carnage that was going on outside. Somehow… Somehow her father's men had been defeated and Kirske was finishing off her village. _

'_I'd die before I'd let that man ruin what I deem most important…' She could feel the tears falling from her eyes as that train of thought consumed her. Her mother was no match for the warriors that served Kirske._

_Eyes a shade more lovely than Esmee's flashed in her mind. She had almost forgotten about her mother in all the chaos._

_Priya Ventress was a pillar of grace and beauty. It had dawned on Asajj that she'd no idea where her mother went off to after she hid them there. As soon as her mother saw the large band of men with their cleavers drawn, she grabbed her daughters and hid them in the house's underground storage room._

_She and Esmee both had cried and pleaded for her to stay._

"_They won't find you…" Priya had reassured her children. "You just have to be quiet now." _

"_**Break it down!**__" Came the harsh voice of the men outside._

_There was a loud crash and slight tremor as the heavy door was knocked off its hinges._

"_Mama… Mama… Mama…"_

"_Esmee!" She hissed, frustrated, "Stop crying." _

_Wrenching her sister closer to herself, she covered her mouth with her hand._

"_**Come out, come out wherever you are…" **__Footfalls echoed throughout the floor._

"_**It won't hurt but a bit…" **__sang one of the men._

"_**Yes! Only a little,"**__ laughed another._

_The tiny slivers of light from the above flickered as bodies moved about._

_Holding her breath, Asajj squeezed her eyes shut as the men moved about above their hiding place._

_Esmee whimpered as her sister's grip tightened. _

"_**Listen here…" **__The men stopped. The two girls looked up as a foot pounded atop the door to their hideout._

"_**It's hollow!"**_

_Asajj scooted back as quietly as she could dragging her sister along with her. Her back hit a wall and buckets topped, falling on the girls. The sound, though muffled by the door was loud enough to be heard._

"_**Sounds like there's somebody here after all!"**_

_Sobbing quietly, Esmee tried to make out her sister in the darkness for what she knew would be their last moments together. Their father was probably dead, and she hadn't a clue where her mother was. _

"_**Open it!"**_

_But before the stone door could be ripped open a piercing cry sounded._

"_**What the-"**_

_Both girls jerked forward wishing they could see through the rock… That voice sounded so familiar._

"_**Filthy, fucking bastards! Burn in hell!"**_

_An obvious scuffle could be heard. 'Mama? Asajj thought hopefully. _

"_**Somebody get this crazy bitch off me!"**_

_Items crashed to the floor as a flurry of activity could be felt through the floor._

"_**FUCK!"**_

_The sound of metal ripping flesh made the girls wince. What was going on up there? Esmee reached forward as if to move closer, only Asajj yanked her back._

"_**Shi-"**_

_The smell of blood was in the air as a body landed loudly on the floor._

"_**Vasco! Fuckin' whore- Now you'll pay!" **_

"_**MY FACE!" Cried another.**_

_More struggling could be heard until another set of bodies crashed loudly to the floor followed by a metal item._

"_**Let….go..of me!" Came their mother's voice.**_

"_**Fuckin' bitch!" **__Came a wounded cry, __**"Look at my fuckin' face!"**_

"_Get your… filthy… hands off me!" Priya sounded strained as it was obvious in her voice that she was still fighting._

"_**I say we fuck her and leave her for dead," **__the wounded spat._

"_I'd rather die!" The sound of someone spitting drifted through._

"_**Fine by me…"**__Asajj felt more tears fall down her face as she could hear her mother fight and hiss until an awful SNAP rang through followed by a lifeless THUD. _

_Silence._

"_**Burn this place down." **_

"_**But what about-"**_

"_**I said burn it to the ground!"**_

_Destruction sounded all around the two girls as their home was ravaged and set ablaze. It matched the carnage outside perfectly._

Asajj could feel the anger and despair seep into her bones. Her whole frame shook with unrestrained fury. Glacial eyes burned with a hatred so strong the air cackled in response. All she could hear were those men laughing at a job well done. Rejoicing in the death of her mother, her father and her village.

"_I'd rather die, first!" _

"_**Fine by me…"**_

_An awful SNAP… followed by a lifeless THUD._

Her eyes began sting as her vision began to blur. Her airway began to fill with gray as everything was spinning making the situation seem all the more surreal. This was really happening and there was nothing she or anyone could do.

She had been weak, and her weakness had cost her everything that ever mattered.

"_Asajj… I can't breathe…" Esmee's hands were upon her back urging her to do something. Anything. _

"Asajj!"

_But the door was too heavy and her heart was so full. She pushed and screamed with everything she had and it wasn't enough. She could tell without looking that her sister was a sobbing, coughing mess beside her. As tears rolled hotly down her alabaster cheeks, she knew she was sobbing things too. _

"I'm trying… I'm trying!" But for all her efforts, failure was her only achievement.

_Failure was unacceptable. Failure was the deep burn that settled in her preteen muscles as she pushed, tried and choked on the smoke that would very well claim what little life she had left. And as that feeling coursed through her veins, something began to grow and fester within her soul. _

_It was raw and painful, grounded in desperation so deep that it strangled and warped her psyche into something fragile and dark. She could feel it burn at the tips of her fingers which were hard pressed and dirty against stone. She was so afraid and frantic that she couldn't help the scream that freed itself from her throat forcing all those sharp sensations somewhere else._

_The force-like energy ripped through her arms and suddenly that stone door wasn't so heavy as dirty little hands pushed through to greet the air above._

Silver eyes were wide with relief and blinded by something much more disturbing.

"_Esmee, we have to go!"_

"Asajj-"

_Soon they both were free, crying and choking because their home was on fire and their mother was dead. But Esmee hadn't wanted to leave and Asajj knew that they didn't have the time, or the heart, to stay any longer. _

"_We can't… she's gone!"_

"_Asajj-"_

She wailed loud and broken.

The woman could feel her body curl into herself. With her eyes clamped shut she moaned as foreign hands bit painfully into her arms.

Someone was shouting her name and shaking her frame, but she refused to look anymore. She didn't want to see that devastated face and those silent eyes. She could feel her body clench as that spot below her breast ached and pulsed.

"I can't…" She whimpered, "It hurts!" And it did because failure would always result in pain.

* * *

**A/N: I guess it's safe to say 'shit has definitely hit the fan!' **

**Well, we're halfway and it won't be soon before it's over. *Thank-you* Lol. But anywho, any comments on the developments so far? Does it make sense to you? Express yourselves- Please! Thanx for sticking around! **


	10. Lacrymosa

**Laymoscra- Evanesence**

"What the hell happened Asajj? You were… you were somewhere else and I couldn't help you!" Shuri all but yelled. "There was nothing I could have said or done to help you thr-through, through whatever the hell you were going through!"

"Shuri… please… I don't… I didn't-"

The fairer haired woman looked up towards the ceiling before taking a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. The panic that had gripped her hadn't quite subsided yet. Finding her friend in the position she had, had been horrible. There were only two things she could do: wait for her 'spell' to pass or sedate her with the suppressants Obi Wan had given her for situations like these.

Asajj lay in her bed feeling a bit slow as the medicine Shuri had stabbed her with was in full effect.

"Just… _**Please**_… please don't mention it to Obi Wan. I don't… Just don't."

"What do you mean **don't **tell him?" Shuri's voice was both incredulous and irritated. "I **have **to! Don't you understand? This is beyond what I'm used to dealing with! You were **ELECTTROCUTING** yourself!" Ripping a hand through her hair, the fairer-haired woman began pacing nervously. "Look… this has something to do with your force abilities, and I don't know anything about that kinda stuff. It'd be stupid for me not to call him."

The woman in bed struggled to sit up, "Just… wait… Wait until we talk about it. _I swear_, this has never happened before! It- It was a **surprise!** I'd read one of the datapads and I couldn't believe… And suddenly I knew- It was an accident, Shuri! An _**accident.**_"

"Why don't you want him here? If this has to do with your-"

"No! If he finds out about this, he is going to _**flip**_ and do something _**annoyingly**_ jedi-like! He can't **be ****here** all the time, Shuri. If someone got suspicious and decided to follow him what do you think they'll find?"

"Are you serious?"

"Very. Think of your family! Do you really want to risk your life for something that's only happened once and may never happen again?"

"That's not-"

"Do you?" She insisted fiercely. Slipping into a more empathetic tone, Ventress softened her countenance.

"Just think about it, okay… let's not make any rash decisions at the moment. Maybe after we've talked about it you can figure out if it's worth the risk. Besides, he'll back early because of the peace summit, right?"

Shuri was momentarily shocked.

"How did you know about that?"

The Republic's representatives and allies were gathering on Naboo for a week long summit to discuss strategy and aid dispersion for the planets and governments that were in need of assistance.

Asajj had remembered hearing about it when she had ventured into town that one time and told Shuri as much. Of course her 'overseers' didn't allow her use of the net or anything else that she could use to gather information. She continued in a calmer tone.

"Your girls _**deserve **_a mama and Obi Wan deserves _**to not **_have his Order turn on him… So let's give it a minute." The former acolyte may have been sedated, but she still knew how to steer people into seeing things her way.

Green eyes were narrowed in obvious disdain for the situation and the words that had been spoken, but Shuri nodded anyway realizing she was too worked up to make an objective decision.

"Laurna… Adella! Come say 'hi.'" She called out to her children needing a minute to think and compose herself.

Though her words had the desired effect, she was serious about what she had said. She was no masochist as what happened earlier had truly left her in a good amount of turmoil she was still trying to shake off. But despite all of that, she knew that whatever had happened had been a breakthrough.

Her jedi was simply too protective of her.

She pretended the blush that stained her cheeks was from the sudden attention cast upon her by Shuri's daughters and not by that last thought.

Meanwhile, the former military doctor debated whether or not send a holo-transmission.

* * *

Pain.

All he could register was pain as he laid there on steel floors drowning in his own blood. He could feel his vitality leaving him as whispers of darker things cradled his fragmented psyche.

_Failure is fear is to be breeds leads to is unacceptable._Curling into himself, he clenched in silent agony as dark energy pulsed through his veins burning and searing all it came into contact with.

Eyes the color of cerulean faded into black. Laughter as free as the wind melted into screams. Whispers of _'I love you'_ gurgled into silence._I'll give you something to fight about._

A squirmish on the ground that ended with the eyes of another bearing down with malicious intent. Large hands were clamped around his wind pipe cutting off oxygen as smaller hands grasped wildly, fighting desperately for relief.

_The emperor no longer requires your services_.

His snapped back as the heat of a lightsaber pushed through his chest setting muscle ablaze. An agonizing fire ripped at his innards making him cry and scream. Clawing wildly at his chest, his eyes squeezed shut as his head snapped back, dizzy from all the pain.

_Help me._

His fighting had been in vain as the younger girl lay dying in his arms gurgling her last breaths away. Tiny hands covered in red clung weakly to his own. Anguished eyes locked on the amused expression of the warlord whose eyes reflected the massacre around him_._

_You are no sith._

Sith feared nothing, and he was afraid of everything.

He desperately tried to shut out the voices but the pain was too had failed and failure would always result in pain.

Jerking awake, Obi Wan found himself gasping for breath as he sat up in bed. A light sheen of sweat rested on his skin as his muscles tingled from his imagined purgatory.

Blinking, he realized his panicked eyes were locked on the figure of Anakin Skywalker who was standing at the foot of his bed with obvious concern.

"Obi Wan," Anakin voiced, "Are you alright?"

This was the second time he'd been roused from sleep by Obi Wan since his return three days ago. Glancing around the Jedi Master's medium sized room, he noted duffle bags that looked to be halfway packed and other things strung about the usually tidy room.

The Jedi Master nodded as he swiped a hand across his face. "Yes… I'm fine," he assured breathlessly. "I hope I didn't wake you," he added.

Anakin stared at the man he thought of as a brother. Lately, he felt as if their duties and interests had pulled them in opposite directions. Despite their lack of bonding with each other, he had noticed that his old teacher had become more and more distracted.

Obi Wan was more pensive, and his fighting style suffered from a lack of concentration. He still got things done in that efficient way of his but anyone who really knew him could see the difference.

Furrowing his brow in deep thought, Anakin thought of the last conversation he had with Padme.

"_There was something odd about the whole situation, Ani. The woman he was with was so familiar and yet she was a total stranger. She hinted at knowing things, but she didn't interrogate me or anything of the sort."_

"_What did she look like?"_

_Padme described the woman and the behaviors the two exhibited in regards to each other. _

"_They were very comfortable with each other. Almost like…. They were together. I don't believe for a second they were strangers."_

"_**Seriously? **__Obi Wan? I think you're mistaken. Obi Wan is not-"_

"_Like you?" She cut in teasingly to which Anakin frowned._

"_I wish you'd tell him. I know how much his opinion of you means to you." Padme huffed, "It's an outdated rule. How can you expect to make the difference when you're too afraid to take a stand?"_

"_It's not that simple, Padme."_

"_But what if it is? Imagine what it would mean if that were the case? He's your best friend."_

"_Still…"_

"_Love can be a wonderful thing and I think it's horrible that the main group of people who spread teachings about appreciation, respect and order are forbidden to experience it. You all care for each other, don't you? And it's cause of those 'attachments' that you're able to be so strong and invested in what you do. You have something to protect and be strong for. Attachments are not weaknesses... at least they don't have to be-"_

_She found her words cut off as the Chosen One kissed her effectively ending her speech. He laughed as she pouted._

"_I know. Preaching to the choir, remember? But I don't feel now is the right time. There's so much going on Padme, and it'd seem irrelevant given our current situation."_

_Deflating, the Naboo-ian Queen nodded. "You're right… It's just I hate lying to our friends and family. I love you and I'd like to be able to express it." _

"_I love you too, but we can't do what you're proposing in the middle of a war."_

_Silence._

"_Oh Ani, what if he's in trouble?"_

"_I think you're worrying too much, but I'll talk to him if it'll make you feel better."_

"_Please do," She had sighed before pressing a chaste kiss to is mouth._

"_Is that the going price," he teased before trying returning her efforts with a much more passionate kiss._

_She giggled as she ducked his mouth. "Promise, Anakin."_

"_Of course," he smirked as she surrendered herself to his kiss and embrace._

Biting his lip, 'The Chosen One' mulled over what he should say as the older man gathered his composure.

"You know if something's bothering you… you **can **tell me." Mentally wincing, he hated how he couldn't be more honest with Obi Wan about his own life. How many times had he wanted to confide in Obi Wan about Padme?

Giving his former padawan a strained smile, Obi Wan responded. "Of course, I just haven't been sleeping well as of late."

Anakin nodded slowly as he moved away from the lighter haired man's bed. He didn't know what was going on, but he had noticed the effect it had on said Jedi and it bothered him that his friend would chose not to open up to him.

Obi Wan must have sensed this as his quiet voice drifted over to the younger man who was on his way to the door. Guilt was an amazing motivator.

"I guess I'm tired of the fighting… If it's not one thing, it's another. I feel as if we're losing even though things are going as about as well as can be expected. The price we pay isn't worth our keep." A sigh. "I mean how many good people have we lost because of all the bloodshed? I'm tired Anakin... So bloody tired, and now even my dreams offer me no rest. I… I'm sorry if I've been keeping you up."

He couldn't be completely honest and because of this annoyance shone clearly in his eyes, which unintentionally helped to sell his statement.

Momentarily shocked at the passion in his 'brother's' voice, Anakin brightened as an opening presented itself to ask about his appearances to Naboo.

"Is that why you went to Naboo?"

If Obi Wan was shocked by such a question his countenance gave nothing away.

"How did-"

"Padme told me."

"Ah… I had no idea you and Senator Amidala were so friendly with each other." His eyes narrowed as he thought back to the run-in he'd had a little while ago with the brown-eyed representative.

"She was concerned…" Anakin coughed.

"You've been so distant lately. I worry about you. You've never liked conflicts much, but you've dealt with them…. I respect your privacy, but I can't help but feel that there might be more than what you're letting on."

"It's just…. Nevermind."

"What?"

He couldn't help that his thoughts slowly drifted to the reason he traveled to Naboo so often as well as the night terror he'd just woken from. He wondered if her dreams were like this.

"Do you ever wonder about who you would've been if you'd been left to live your life on Tatooine? Sometimes I wonder just how much does a person's circumstance define them. Are people really born evil, or is it just how things play out?"

Furrowing his brow, Anakin frowned as he made the connection.

"Is this…. about Ventress?"

Hating that Anakin could read him so well, Obi Wan neither confirmed nor denied his question, which was an answer in itself.

"You have to let that go, Obi Wan. You can't save everyone, and not everyone deserves to be saved."

"You've never once thought about who any of use could've been? What if someone had found her before Dooku?"

Anakin groaned in frustration. "She's gone, Obi Wan, and I'm tired of this obsession you've had with her. She was a horrible person who got what she deserved!" His gaze was hard as his scar burned at the mention of the deceased. How could Obi Wan be so stuck on that witch?

"Anakin!" The Jedi Master sounded both offended and shocked at the anger in his former pupil's voice as well as the harshness of his words. "That's quite enough," he scolded.

Anakin shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "She's tortured you, and murdered countless amounts of people…. I honestly don't get you." Turning around he presented his 'brother' with his back as he continued his tirade.

"It's as if you're in-love with her," he spat bitterly.

A thick silence blanketed the room as both men tensed for different reasons.

Grunting, Anakin turned to face his friend.

"Look… I'm sorry her death upsets you, but I'm not sorry that she died. She was a threat. But if that's what plaguing your sleep like this, maybe you should talk to Barriss… As a healer she would know what to do."

The hostility that bubbled in the air began to subside as the Chosen One calmed himself with the hope that Obi Wan would talk to him.

"It's just… Padme was worried. That's why she contacted me."

A part of Obi Wan was angry with the things Anakin said, while another part of him sadly accepted he and his friend would never see eye-to-eye on this matter.

"Well, there's nothing to be worried over. I was on Naboo to see a friend who specialized in these kinds of things."

"Oh… is she who you were with?"

"No… the woman Padme met was another client of hers… But speaking to Barriss would be much less time consuming and much more appropriate," he covered somewhat truthfully. Shuri had mentioned something about needing an inside source and with the Summit coming up he'd have a legit reason to linger…

"It's just… I worry, ya know."

"I really do appreciate your concern, but it's a private matter that I have to deal with alone."

Anakin frowned when he realized his friend would not be forthcoming.

"Well if you're not going to talk about it, can you at least stop waking me up." Not bothering to hide his aggravation, Anakin left the room with a huff.

The Republic General fell back onto his pillow, eyes locked on the ceiling. Feeling frustrated by his conversation with Anakin, he took a breath as he began to process all that was said.

He was not _'in-love'_ with Ventress…

He couldn't be… Could he?

The next day was an ordinary day in the temple. He sat through council meetings and mission briefs with the same stoic air expected. He'd decided not to dwell on last night's events as he had work to do. But his plans were disrupted when he saw the dark robes of an olive toned Mirialan trailing around the corner.

"Master Offee," he greeted cordially.

"Master Kenobi," she nodded pausing her motion to regard him. "Is there something you'd wish to speak with me about?"

Unfazed by such expectant behavior, he chewed his bottom lip before locking eyes.

"Actually, the Peace Summit on Naboo is coming up and I was hoping you could accompany me. I have business that may require your skill."

She gave him a curious glance before giving her undivided attention.

"Go on."

Obi Wan smiled as the two continued their conversation down the hall.

* * *

**A/N: We're just making progress aren't we? I actually have another Star Wars fic I'm working on and was thinking of posting the prologue to see if it'd be worthwhile in expediting for the site instead of just my own enjoyment. But with my track record, I should just finish this first. Lol. **

**Comments, questions, concerns? Submit it in a review, please. Guilt works wonders with me, I can assure you. Lol. As always, thanx sooooo much for sticking around! **

**Omg! This space thing SERIOUSLY blows!**


	11. With or Without You

**With or Without You- U2**

"Shuri, this is Jedi Master Barriss Offee, Barriss, this is Shuri Aldreska, a former military psychiatrist."

"Nice to meet you."

"How do you do."

Both women shook each other's hands with pleasant smiles attached to their faces. Noting the conservative robes of the jedi healer, the blonde was happy with her choice of burgundy dress. The dress helped her to blend with its square neckline, bell sleeves and high waist-lined skirts.

The banquet hall of the Naboo-ian palace was decked in the colors of the Republic along with the flags of different races and governments. It truly was a gathering of diversity and negotiations. Tomorrow the real work would begin but today was for settling in and getting acquainted.

Despite the large amounts of people present, the three were able to hear each other just fine. After finding an empty table, the group sat and waited to be served.

"Are you here for negotiations as well?" Barriss asked politely.

Shuri chuckled, "Heaven's no, General Kenobi and I go way back. I asked to meet you as a favor."

"Really?" The olive skinned Mirilian raised an arched brow. Obi Wan had mentioned something about business.

"Yes. Recently, I've been helping the General with a sleeping problem, but despite progress I was starting to suspect that it may have been more of a…" Shuri searched for a word, "spiritual matter."

Barriss looked to the blonde in front of her and then to Obi Wan.

"Is that so? This is the first time I've heard of such an issue," she directed at the male jedi. "Were you doubtful of my skill, Master Obi Wan?"

The man in question smiled apologetically. "Not at all, I hadn't seen Shuri in quite some time and the time away from the temple helped tremendously. I trust your approach, but the problem is nearly non-existent now. Shuri, being the curious type she is, simply wanted to talk to a Jedi healer to see the difference in technique."

The Mirilian looked a bit skeptical but accepted his explanation nonetheless.'What's he hiding?' She thought before her musings were interrupted by a female standing a ways away.

"Master Obi Wan."

Turning at the sound of his name, Obi Wan smiled kindly at a fellow ambassador who waved from a few tables over.

"Ladies," he excused himself to talk to the individual. The two watched him go just as a server asked them what they preferred to eat and drink. Both requested water and something vegetarian-like.

"You were saying," Barriss prompted after they'd gotten their food and drinks.

"I guess I'm just curious about some things, and since Obi Wan refuses to humor me, I asked if there was anyone else I could bug about the healing aspects of your practice." Shuri took a bite of her meal and smiled.

Barriss looked intrigued. "What is it that you wanted to know?"

The blonde swallowed before asking her first question. "What exactly is the force? I've always assumed that it's some type of will-power or spiritual ability people are born with."

"No one is completely sure of what the force is, but most people seem to agree that it's something that connects us. Many say that it is the binding fabric of the universe. I suppose for lack of better terms one can assume that through will-power and meditation, it is something of a spiritual ability that certain people can tap into." Master Offee took a bite and hummed as well.

"So what you're saying is despite its interconnecting nature, not everyone can use it, or manipulate it?"

She nodded while swallowing. "Right. The higher a person's midi-chiorian count, the more likely they are able to be a force-user."

"So, where did the split in users come from?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've never really seen force-users in combat, but there are two sides, right? What I mean to ask is how is the malevolent part of the force able to manifest itself? What's it like?" She savored the next mouthful as she followed the other's explanation.

"Jedi refer to the 'light side' and the 'dark side,' but really, these are only words and the force is beyond words. It is not evil, just as it isn't good- it's simply what it is. Is fire anymore evil than water because it burns? Just as it is capable of destruction it is also capable of warmth and security. Like the nature of the elements are left for interpretation, the force is left to the interpretation of its users."

"Really?" Shuri's eyes lit up as she dabbed at the corners of her mouth. "So it's safe to say that emotions play a vital role in a person's abilities?" She took a sip of water.

"Very much so. Like the expression, 'I was seeing red,' the force can respond accordingly to the user's frame of mind intensifying the person's action."

"Is it possible for one to lose control of their abilities?"

Barriss laughed pausing her fork's destination to her mouth, "No. It's not like a device where it's capable of malfunction- You either use it or you don't."

"But say its user was," A spark of excitement could be heard in her Shuri's voice.

"Was what?" Barriss asked with furrowed brows as she chewed and swallowed.

"Capable of malfunction. Is it possible for a force user to unconsciously use their abilities if upset enough?"

Barriss' expression remained one of confusion as she continued eating.

"Like sleep-walking." Shuri tried to explain.

The dark robed woman looked to be mulling over her words, before shaking her head.

"Humor me," Shuri deadpanned before going in for another bite as well.

Barriss exhaled, somewhat annoyed, before speaking. "In theory, I suppose if one were unstable enough and they were subconsciously reacting to something that upset them beyond reason… then that could be a possibility."

"So have you ever heard of something like that?"

"Is that what was going on with Obi Wan?" Barriss almost sputtered leaning forward with wide eyes.

"What? Obi Wan?" Shuri blinked before a light clicked on inside her head. "Oh no… he was just stressed but there were times when I thought it may have been something more pressing." The former physician felt relieved in her nonchalant tones, though Barriss did not look completely convinced after she gathered her composure.

"You seem to be heading in a very specific direction. Is there a particular reason for this line of questioning?" She causally leaned forward as she finished her plate.

"No… just curious really." Shuri managed an expression of casual thoughtfulness before draining her water. "I'd like to think that as a psychiatrist all one would have to do is deal with their emotions and be done, but time with Obi Wan has made me… thoughtful. Which makes me ask, are you force users more likely to experience symptoms related to mental illness?"

Barriss tilted her head rustling dark robes. She daintily wiped at her mouth, "Mental illnesses?"

"Yes… Like is it possible for a person's insecurities to manifest within the force causing things like paranoia, hallucinations, delusions… things like that?"

"A friend of mine, Aayla Secura, was for a time tempted by her own demons." Shuri leaned forward, almost conspiratorially as if to say 'go on.' "She said it was like being a black hole. Everything she thought or felt ended up twisted and mangled so it would fit where she thought she wanted it to." Barriss appeared thoughtful, "Like something was whispering poison in her ear. Aayla said it was because she was angry and bitter that such things were able to cloud her mind. For a while she was a bit of a renegade."

Shuri hummed thoughtfully just as Obi Wan made his way back to where the two had finished up. Barriss pretended not to notice the look the two exchanged. What was really going on? She eyed the two before asking if they were ready to go.

Shuri glanced at the timepiece on the wall. "Oh wow! Actually, I do have to go. General, do you care to escort a lady home."

"Sure," he answered politely.

"Master Offee," he acknowledged.

Dark blue eyes glittered. "Mind if I join?" She asked pretending not to notice their surprised expressions.

Shuri shrugged, to which Obi Wan gestured as if to say 'as you wish.'

Smiling docilely, the female healer rose gracefully to follow her companions out of the hall.

* * *

Asajj sat on the floor next to her bed with a bowl of berries beside her. Seated Indian-style with her hands in a prayer-like position in front her, she took a deep breath as she cleared her mind once again focusing on healing energy and happier times.

Meditation, despite its boring nature was the only thing that had been keeping her sane the past couple of days. Tomorrow the Peace Summit would officially start, however today was something of a move-in day. She could tell Obi Wan was on Naboo somewhere. Their bond was by no means transcendent of space, but his presence in her mind was so much more clear than what it was when he was back at his temple. She could only feel wisps of him before, but now his presence was like the soft hum of a refrigerator. Quiet, but hearable.

The data pads he'd left had driven her to the point of insanity almost. She had only been able to read one before falling apart. As soon as she read about the 'Sith,' everything went down the crapper. Between night terrors, and hallucinations, the dark-haired woman had been a mess. She was thankful, her jedi was back- she really needed him.

Slouching with a sigh, she opened her eyes as she reached for a berry. She missed his calming presence so much she wondered how she was able to survive the last couple of days.

* * *

"Chancellor Palpatine?" Padme addressed Palpatine's back.

The Chancellor frowned at the three exiting the banquet halls. Allowing the corners of his mouth to pull upwards into a kind smile, he turned and spoke to Padme. "My dear girl, how are you?"

"I am well and you?" she asked with a grin of her own.

Closing his eyes for a brief second, he opened them unleashing an even bigger smile. "Absolutely splendid. This is something I didn't expect, but it's such a lovely setting nonetheless."

"Thank you," she beamed stunningly unawares of his word's true meaning.

'Lovely indeed. This should prove interesting.'

* * *

"AHHHH!"

Asajj felt as if her head were being cleaved in two. Colliding into the counter in front her, the former dark acolyte grasped her head as her neck snapped back. The empty bowl crashed onto kitchen tile as her knees buckled leaving her to catch herself on all fours.

The sound that pushed itself out of her throat was almost inhuman. Tears squeezed from her tightly closed eyes as the sharp pain set her cranium ablaze. She could feel it spilling over into the link despite her efforts to close it._"Failure is unacceptable."_Her eyes snapped opened at the sound of the cold hissing. Her hazy vision snapped onto the black orbs of her former master. His face had twisted into a snarl.

* * *

The jedi master clutched his head in pain, as his voice rang through the deserted hallway halting the trio.

"Bloody hell!"

"Obi Wan!" Barriss gasped as he dropped to his knees, eyes squeezed shut.

"General?" Shuri's eyes were wide with concern and panic.

* * *

"_To fear is to be weak…"_

_His name was on the tip of her tongue but the only sound she was able to produce was a cross between a gasp and a strangled cry."Weakness breeds cowardice."_

_She watched with learned terror as his hand seemed to be crushing something in the middle of his palm. Her mind may have not been able to process what was occurring, but her body did seizing as his hand tightened._

"_Cowardice leads to failure."Asajj grasped at the god awful fire in her chest. Silver eyes widened as her oxygen flow felt none-existent. She felt like she was choking and drowning on the cold steel floor of the Seperatist flag ship. The count sneered as he grasped her chin to stare down into her hurt-filled expression. _

"_Failure is unacceptable."_

* * *

"S'not me…" Obi Wan managed through gritted teeth. "Shuri…"

Something seemed to click in the blonde's mind as her expression reflected her realization. Barriss looked on as Shuri fled the room as her burgundy skirts trailed behind her.

What was going on? Shaking away her inaction Barriss quickly kneeled to alleviate his ailment. Placing a cool hand against his temples she cleared her mind of all outside distractions. The hall melted away.

Focusing on cool healing energy Barriss slowly pushed her way into his subconscious soothing the flaring edges as she went by.

There was something different here, she realized, as she delved deeper looking for the source of his torment. Barriss outwardly frowned as she realized the origins of such discomfort were not because of the man bent over before her. She followed the flares until she found another presence that was both foreign and familiar to Obi Wan.

"What…" She reached out with her blue aura to touch the agitated force.

She could feel fear and anguish radiating in the matter surrounding the throbbing presence. Just a little closer, she thought as images whirred too quickly for her to grasp.

Almost there…

* * *

_His invisible grip on her heart tightened sending flares of hurt that made her thrash involuntarily. Pale skin was turning blue as she wheezed pitifully. Her free hand grasped his wrist as her vision began to darken. She refused to beg… Even if he decided to kill her, she was done with begging- he'd do what he wanted anyway._

_Asajj could barely hear his voice as the cold place around her began to fade."Consider this a warning," he said loosening his grip and allowing her heart to beat normally. "Next time I won't be so merciful." She felt the iciness of his invisible touch leave her as she crumpled fully onto the floor. _

_A pulsing ache resided along with a touch of nausea as her body fought to circulate blood and oxygen. Blue was receding as she gasped uncontrollably for air. _Her eyes closed briefly, which in reality had been quite a while. When she opened them a blonde haired woman was staring down at her in obvious concern. Asajj opened her mouth to speak but never got the chance as a sharp prick followed by a cool rush of liquid took both her pain and consciousness away.

* * *

Barriss was shocked as the foreign aura closed in on itself with a violent burst of coolness. Momentarily stumped, she didn't have time to ponder as her consciousness was thrown back into the hall, which now had drawn a small crowd, staring into the weary eyes of Obi Wan Kenobi.

She looked at him with disbelief as she realized he had kicked her out of his mind. The whole ordeal had happened in about three minutes.

Blinking, she questioned him with an alarmed expression and a concerned tone, "Master Kenobi?"

He pushed himself up despite his heavy breathing.

"Master Offee," came his breathless voice. He held her gaze as he backed through the small group before taking off in the same direction Shuri had gone minutes before.

Bloody hell indeed.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah… So this Summit thing is the only way I could make Obi Wan's constant running off legit. I don't think Jedi get weekends off. **

**Thanx for sticking around! Review please!**

**Quotes incorporated:**

"**Jedi refer to the 'light side' and the 'dark side,' but really, these are only words and the force is beyond words. It is not evil, just as it isn't good- it's simply what it is." – Quote by Barriss Offee **


	12. That's Not Really Funny

**That's Not Really Funny- Eels**

It had been two days since the incident in the hallway and as more time passed, Barriss realized that something was definitely up. Her Jedi companion had been acting strangely ever since. Whenever she tried to question him he either shrugged her off or was too busy with negotiations to talk.

She hated being left in the dark and whatever Obi Wan had going on he was making it a priority to keep her out of it. Even the blonde doctor was proving a challenge to talk to. She was politely evasive with her answers and annoyingly meticulous in her questioning. Sighing in frustration she fell back onto her bed and took a glance at her clock. The digital device read 9:09 p.m..

Now would be a good time to talk to him without work getting in the way. Pulling her hair away from her face, she put on a pair of trousers and a tank top so she could go and talk to the oddly secretive jedi master. Pulling open her chamber's door, she was about to step out into the hallway when she noticed the man in question leaving his room too. At first she was just going to go over and talk to him, but then she noticed his state of dress and the overnight bag slung over his shoulder.

"Where is he off to so late in the night?" she whispered to herself.

Quickly pulling her door closed, she waited until after his footsteps faded past to peek after his quiet form. Deciding to follow, she quickly dashed back inside to grab her lightsaber and cloak.

* * *

The Jedi Master jumped into the rented vehicle which he would take him two cities over to the town Shuri lived in. The drive took about forty-five minutes. When he arrived to the Aldreska residence, he parked the speeder and began the twenty minute trek to the cottage.

* * *

Master Offee had made it to the rental shop just in time to see the ginger haired man speed off. Cursing her luck, she had no choice but to go back to the palace and contemplate her next move. There was no way she could follow him without giving herself away. She decided she would wait for his return in his room to question him.

* * *

"Still no change?"

Shuri shook her head 'no.'

"Maybe there's something you can do through your link," She suggested hopefully.

He looked pensive as he regarded the unconscious woman from her bedroom door. The sight of Asajj semi-comatose made his stomach drop. She'd been this way since Shuri had attended to her two days ago. He hated seeing her so unresponsive, and yet she looked so carefree- like a normal woman waiting to start a normal day. Focusing on the conversation at hand, he ran a hand through his hair before responding.

"When you gave her the midi-chiorian suppressants you temporarily eliminated her ability to access the link. Her presence is too faint for me to do anything. Which makes me wonder how much did you give her?" Turning away from the sleeping visage of Asajj Ventress, the two made their way into the kitchen to take a seat.

"Too much apparently…" She leaned against the counter as he took a seat. "Good thing I'm better with tranquilizers."

He gave her a look that said otherwise.

"Listen…" She began chewing on her bottom lip, "I think I know what could be causing all this, but I need to be sure first."

The Jedi master felt a glimmer of hope, his eyes conveying as much. "Well…"

"I think she may have an anxiety disorder characterized by stress."

"What?"

"Think of it as PTSD on steroids or spice. The same way a victim of extreme traumatization can relive horrific events, she would too only it'd be worse because she's in tune with a power that is physically able to manifest itself at its user's will."

He stared at her in disbelief. "That's impossible…"

"Is it?"

"Shuri," He laughed skeptically, "you can't just…."

"Those nightmares and headaches… You only have them when she does."

"We're linked…" He reasoned.

"Even when you're planets away…" Green eyes were bright with determination.

"Coincidence."

"And since she's had those force suppressants you haven't felt a thing **and **she doesn't react to flashbacks the same way."

Silence. Check and mate.

"Admit it General- I'm onto something." Shuri smirked in victory.

"There's no way… Master Offee told you this?

"No, but from our conversation I gather that it's possible given the right set of conditions. You'd be surprised at what the human mind can do." She stared at him knowingly.

"Dooku betraying her can't be so traumatic that she's responding this way. I mean she was never this way before."

"True, but before she had history on her side. That bump to the head caused her to forget that history. Now she's going through all these events at the same time- for the first time. I mean, she's dredging up all her lowest moments like she's never experienced them before- everything's out of context and it's simply too much raw feeling at one once. But, like I said, I'll have to wait until she wakes up to be absolutely sure."

"Is… is this what she was going through while I was gone?"

She dropped her smug expression in favor of something more serious. "Something like this, yes."

"Why didn't you think to mention that?" He demanded in a tone that made her cringe, mentally.

"And what would you have done if I had told you?" She shot back. "What honestly could you have done a billion miles away?"

"That's not the point!"

"It is! She didn't want you to interfere. She's probably thinking differently now, but that's beside the point. Now you have a whole week to see her."

"This is ridiculous!" He relented lowering is voice

"Maybe so, but it doesn't make it any less true." Shuri rolled her eyes as she went about gathering her things. "Look, the sooner you can get Master Offee to help out, the sooner we can fix this." With that she said her goodnights and was out the door.

* * *

After falling asleep in Obi Wan's room, Barriss woke up to find there'd been no sign of him. Wiping the sleep from her eyes she glanced at the digital device on the dresser to see that it was only 5:03 a.m.. Deciding to return to her room, the Jedi Master gathered herself and made the trek back to her sleeping quarters. She didn't see her companion till the day's scheduled sessions started about three hours later.

"_Sleep well?" She had asked him casually._

"_Not at all, but at least the room is nice," Obi Wan had said with an honest expression on his face._

_He didn't notice her frown._

It was around lunch time when she decided to visit the rental shop she'd saw him go to the night before. Smiling at the clerk, she promptly asked if she could know where someone had went in a vehicle that had been rented out before closing. All the shops kept trackers in their vehicles in case they had to retrieve their property.

The clerk asked her for her name and designation, running her through a database to see if she was who she claimed to be. When everything checked out, the clerk gave her co-ordinates to the vehicle's stops. After thanking the clerk for the information, she used a suggestion trick to erase their memory of the interaction. She then left, quickly heading over to a nearby information station to research her findings.

After entering the information she found the location of Obi Wan's stop. She recognized the town name of Manesfield as the town Shuri resided in. Why would he be visiting the doctor when she was constantly visiting the planet's capital? Maybe his episode in the hall prompted an emergency meeting. But then why would he lie about it?

She specifically remembered him stating that it 'wasn't him.' The deeper she delved, the more she realized the source of the pain was from something, or someone else.

She was willing to bet that all of this had something to do with the presence she'd encountered within her companion the day of the incident.

_But that's impossible unless his force aura had somehow tangled with someone else's…_

Dark blue eyes widened in realization and shock. But who besides Anakin and his former teacher would he have such an intimate relationship? Obi Wan knew such a thing was frowned upon, so why would he do it? Perhaps he was being possessed… The more she started connecting dots, the more questions she had.

What was going on that was making the renowned jedi so unlike himself?

* * *

After the day's agenda had been concluded Obi Wan was on his way to his room when he was intercepted by a palace maiden.

"Master Kenobi," came her heavily accented voice, "You have a holo-transmission that was sent to your room's communication's unit."

He smiled thankfully. Gods, he hated how all these meetings drug out. A shower would really help him relax. Politics could be so frustrating. Assuming it was a message from Anakin, he skipped the communication unit and headed in the bathroom for a long shower. While standing beneath the steady flow of water, he allowed his thoughts free reign.

Shuri had been right about one thing, he really needed to talk to Master Offee. He could only keep this a secret for so long. Barriss was about as shrewd as they came. He pretended not to notice those sharp eyes and questioning glances she threw his way. The sooner he could talk to her, the better. Besides, it'd be easier to plead his case if she heard it from him first.

Finishing up his shower, he went about changing his clothes completely forgetting about the transmission in his queue. He was off to find Master Offee instead.

* * *

Staring at the seemingly peaceful figure resting beneath cotton sheets. Barriss didn't understand what she was looking at. The woman had pale white skin and long dark hair. Her facial features were round, sharp and peculiarly familiar.

'_Who is this?_' She thought as she regarded the unconscious form. Was this what Obi Wan was hiding? And why?

After she'd arrived in Manesfield, she'd casually asked around about any non-locals moving through. Despite her inquiries, no one yielded anything especially useful. If it hadn't been for a faint force signature grazing her own, she wouldn't have had anything to follow-up on. Deciding to track the weak aura, she found herself in front of a cottage about 25 minutes away from town.

Barriss didn't know who this woman was, but she had a feeling she was the reason for Obi Wan's strange behavior.

"Who are you?" she whispered aloud. She could tell the woman was a force sensitive, but that was all. She didn't worry about her health as her breathing, though deep, was normal. Carefully crossing the threshold of the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed as gently as she could. Noticing the faint needle marks on her arms, Barriss concluded that the Jane Doe was in a drug induced sleep which was reason for the deepness of sleep. Concentrating on the faint reading she had been able to pick up, she turned her thoughts on the woman's state of being.

There was something _odd _about her energies- they were unnaturally weak. Lightly touching the needle marks, she concluded that the unnaturalness of her condition would be due to force suppressants.

But why would the Jane Doe need both tranquilizers **and** midi-chiorian suppressants? Maybe… Maybe she was a client of the former doctor? That would explain the reason behind Shuri's questioning.

**But** if that _was_ the case, why so much effort to keep it all a secret? Why was she being treated in this remote dwelling and not elsewhere?

Sighing, Barriss stood wanting to explore the room. Just as she made to move, she heard a sound akin to the breaking of glass. Wincing, she looked down to see some datapads peaking from underneath the bed. Bending down to pick them up, the first one was cracked blinking out parts and distorting others. The other two were just fine. One was even on.

The healer casually scrolled through, staring at the words in confusion. She then activated the second unharmed one, reading as a feeling of unease settled in her stomach. Why would Jane Doe have these?

Staring at the third, she scrolled around trying to make sense of the few blots of info she could discern.

* * *

An hour later and his efforts had yet to find the olive-skinned woman. Frustrated with her convenient disappearance, Obi Wan found himself back in his room resting lazily on his bed. For the past two days, she was always waiting to talk and now when he was finally ready to have the conversation, she wasn't available.

'_Typical,' _he thought pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. He found his mind wandering to topics he really wished he didn't want to worry about. For example the incident in the hall. His last conversation with Shuri replayed constantly in his mind. What if she was right? Had he really been experiencing her memories while back on Coruscant?

'_I'll give you something to fight about… The emperor no longer requires your services_… _Help me… _He had failed and failure would always result in pain... He wondered if her dreams were like this…'

His heart ached at the thought. He could feel the remnants of panic and fear that came with such dreams. The thought of her living through such hardships was truly depressing. Accepting the consequences of your actions was not an ideal lost upon him as Obi Wan believed in the idea completely, however, he also recognized fear and desperation when he saw it. Such a wounded girl she had to have been to grow up into the bitter vixen that had been Asajj Ventress.

Glancing to his right, he noticed the communications device blinking on its stand. He'd forgotten about that message. Taking a deep breath he raised himself from his bed to review the transmission after realizing two more were in queue.

"Sir, this is Sho'Shana Crane of the Rental-"

-Skip-

The next message made his blood run cold.

The shining eyes of the blonde pleaded for help on the transmitter's screen.

"_Obi Wan… I know what I told you, but this goes beyond all of that! There is something seriously wrong here. You have to come now!"_

* * *

Staring at the now sent pre-recorded message, Barriss waited for the Jedi Master's arrival.

* * *

**A/N: I hated writing this… I don't think suspenseful writing is my thing so I can say that this could've been better. However, it was necessary and I am glad that it's finally out of the way. Review please! And as always, thanx for sticking around! Btw... does anyone watch the United States of Tara? **


	13. You're Not Here

**You're Not Here- Akira Yamaoka**

Obi Wan didn't know what to expect when he received Shuri's frantic message. He'd been in plenty emergency-like situations but there were only a handful of times he'd ever felt this kind of dread. It was surprising how much Ventress had come to mean to him. Their relationship had always been odd, but this was a step beyond. It disturbed him how complicated things had become… how much he realized he cared.

Ignoring the subject of his thoughts, the ginger man decided to focus on the task at hand forcing the rental to go as fast as it could. He hoped for the best as he tore across the Naboo-ian land with purpose.

Shutting the door behind him, he was internally grateful that the force suppressant was finally wearing off. Though her thoughts were incoherent, at least he could feel her buzzing around in his mind. Sighing, the cerulean eyed man halted in his movements when he noticed who stood before him.

The trek to the cottage allowed him plenty scenarios to play through, however, he didn't entertain one that involved explaining himself to Barriss Offee.

The dark robed Mirilian stood there with her arms folded across her chest in an expectant manner.

If Obi Wan was shocked, he didn't allow it to show on his expression.

"Master Offee," he greeted coolly.

"Master Kenobi."

He glanced around the room in search of a familiar head of blonde hair.

"Dr. Aldreska didn't call you here- I did."

Despite the rapid beating of his heart, Obi Wan appeared thoughtful. "I see." If she wasn't going to say something, neither was he. He figured she couldn't know much as her countenance was oddly calm in light of the situation.

Her expression softened as she decided to get to the point of things. "Obi Wan… Who is she and how are you tied to her?" She watched as he dropped onto a nearby couch, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair. "Whatever it is… please, tell me. I don't shock easy."

Deliberating on where to start, he finally looked up eyes as serious as she'd ever seen them. "You may want to sit," he stated quietly. "I mean, it's time you knew, but just know that there are other lives at stake here… So whatever you decide, you should be mindful." She nodded. "The woman… the woman in the room is Asajj Ventress."

* * *

"Chancellor," Anakin greeted the live holograph transmission. "How goes the Summit?"

The visage of Chancellor Palpatine smiled warmly at the jedi's chosen one. "All goes well, my boy. What of yourself?"

Anakin rolled his eyes somewhat comically, "About as well as can be expected, I suppose."

The Chancellor nodded thoughtfully, to which Anakin responded in a back-to-business tone, "Did you need something, Chancellor?"

"As a matter of fact I do require your assistance. We have evidence of someone breaking into the Palace's War Room and stealing important documents."

"What! Was anyone injured?" Anakin asked as his thoughts immediately turned Padme.

Noticing the slightly panicked expression on Anakin's face, Palpatine rushed on to assure him that everyone was fine. "No, no. No one was hurt, it just sets progress back a little." The relief that flashed through dark eyes was palpable. "Those documents were very important."

"Well, does Obi Wan have any leads?"

"We thought it best not to distract Master Kenobi and Master Offee's from their tasks."

Anakin folded his arms across his chest appearing confused, "Why is that?"

Palpatine's hologrammed visage looked genuinely surprised, "You didn't hear?"

Anakin's brow furrowed, "Hear what?"

Clearing his throat and regaining his composure the older man continued, "I fear that Master Kenobi is a bit unwell. He had a spell in the halls a couple of days ago and nearly passed out. Since then he's been… distracted, if you will. Still functional, I assure you, but a bit off." He waited for Anakin's response but when the boy failed to give one he continued. "If you think he'll be fine handling the details, then-"

It was then that Anakin decided to snap out of ponderings.

"No! It's quite alright. I'll speak to him first."

Palpatine smiled, image flickering. "Splendid, my boy, I await your decision. And do be quick about it."

* * *

Barriss Offee could not believe her ears. Not only was the notorious Asajj Ventress still alive, but the temple's favorite golden boy was taking care of her. She wasn't lying when she said she didn't shock easy, but -this- _this_ was unheard of! A Jedi Master and an undead sith apprentice- Shocking didn't even begin to cover it.

"Anakin was right!" She exclaimed with wide eyes.

"You've been talking to Anakin?" He sounded miffed.

"He told me that something was bothering you and that if I didn't hear from you, to keep an eye out. He was worried… And for good reason. Asajj Ventress? Honestly, of all the people-" She half-heartedly chastised. "What are you doing?"

"Remember when I told you there was a reason I wanted you to come with me to the Peace Summit?"

She nodded, somewhat confused at the imploring expression on his face.

Navy orbs widened in surprised understanding.

"**Her?**"

"When she was dying on Boz Pity, there was so much regret in her… She deserves a chance to redeem herself. Imagine what she could do with the proper training and environment."

"She's dangerous, Obi Wan. How do you know this isn't a trap?"

"Look, I wouldn't ask if I thought she was a danger to anyone. The only person she'd hurt right now is herself." Barriss stared at him with sharp blue eyes. "I am so tired of talks of redemption and forgiveness we never allow," He breathed in frustration. "She's done nothing the whole time she's been here. You're letting your emotions cloud your judgment!"

"And you aren't?"

"Perhaps, but at least I gave her the chance to prove it to me."

Shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation, Barriss took a calming breath before addressing her companion. "This is insane. We're not talking about a stray here… **She's**-**a**-**Sith-Apprentice**!"

"Was… She **was** a sith apprentice." Rolling her eyes, the jedi healer began to pace. Obi Wan continued, "How many people do we know who started with the brightest possible beginnings and ended up being one of the worst adversaries we've faced? She's been beaten one too many times… As- Ventress knows what it's like to be a prisoner of fear, to be lost and disregarded- it's all she can remember. Now she has a chance to be free from that… Who are we to deny her? "

She stopped to stare at him. "This is all too much, too fast… I need time to process."

His expression was crestfallen as he realized the gravity of the situation. If Barriss turned her over to the Republic…

"I promise not to do anything until after I've given you my answer," she added comfortingly as he began to pace.

Pausing in his movement, he looked into dark blue eyes. Turning away from her, he decided to lay his cards on the table. His posture, which had been tensed before, was now slumped in exhaustion as he voiced his thoughts.

"I know… I know she's different. We're linked, the two of us…"

Barriss sighed almost regretfully, "Obi Wan…" There was a reason these types of bonds were discouraged within the jedi ranks. The loss of such an intimate connection was extremely painful and could leave the remaining party deathly ill.

"I know her intentions just as she knows mine. So when you ask me, how I know that her intentions are pure, I can say that they're true because I feel it." Sighing, he found himself staring in the direction of Asajj's room. "I'm not excusing her of her actions, Master Offee. I just recognize a regretful soul when I see one."

Nodding, she slowly made her way to the door leaving him with his thoughts so she could sort through her own.

* * *

Anakin waited patiently for Obi Wan to accept his transmission, but when the operator informed him that the invitation had not been accepted, the young man frowned.

Where was Obi Wan and why hadn't he told him about his incident in the hallway. Maybe his former teacher really did have a problem. Feeling the smallest bit hurt that Obi Wan would keep something so paramount, Anakin found his footsteps leading him to the dormitory the two shared.

'_You don't have much room to talk,'_ his conscience whispered smartly. _'You're married, remember?'_ Grumbling, he opened and locked his dorm door before falling onto a couch, contemplating his 'brother's' odd behavior. Brightening as he remembered his chat with Barriss, he headed to his personal comm unit so he could talk to the tattooed jedi healer.

* * *

Obi Wan sat on the bed beside the sleeping woman watching as her chest rose and fell more evenly.

"She knows," he said aloud mostly to himself, "and I honestly don't know what'll she do with the information."

He always thought Asajj attractive, especially when she wasn't scowling or spitting death threats. But asleep there was an innocence that not many would think she owned. He couldn't believe it had come to this. He honestly believed in her potential, the woman she could be if given the chance. Why is it that no one else seemed to be able to do same?

And as if some unseen deity decided to hold the fog at bay for him, his answer came bright as day and heavy as rain: _You tend to see things differently when you're in-love_.

He stood with a bitter smile and a shake of his head. Running a hand through his hair, the Jedi Master found himself making his way to his room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

* * *

Finding herself locked away in her room, Barriss was relieved to be back within the walls of the palace. The more space she put between herself and Obi Wan, the better. Laughing humorlessly, she found herself falling into the warmth of her bed as her thoughts traveled back to the seemingly peaceful woman at the cottage.

She'd never thought of Asajj Ventress being a normal woman, and yet the pale skinned woman had looked exactly that- normal. As a healer it was her job to help those in need no matter what, but the tattooed Mirilian would be dishonest if she said she didn't think of turning the other way.

Part of her was curious about the illness that plagued the dark haired woman. 'How had that happened?' She knew now what her seemingly outlandish conversations with Dr. Aldreska were about and her curiosity was piqued. However, the other part of her wished to stay uninvolved.

It was obvious that Obi Wan cared deeply for the former acolyte. While she agreed friends should help friends, she also believed in the rules of the Jedi Order. Rules Obi Wan was a toe away from breaking. Now was not the time to play hero for some damsel in distress.

Sighing, Barriss found her sights locked on the ceiling as a neutral accented voice filled the room.

"Holo-conference initiated by… 'Anakin Skywalker,' do you accept?"

Pushing up on her elbows, Master Offee stared at the blinking comm unit a few feet away. Groaning, she forced herself up and across the room to the station.

"I accept," she thought aloud pushing the corresponding button waiting for the device to project his image.

"Anakin," she greeted skeptically as his likeness gathered in front of her.

"Master Offee?"

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Is everything alright?" the grainy copy asked as its harsh glow illuminated her face.

"What do you mean? The summit seems to be –"

"No... With Obi wan. I heard he may be ill."

"Oh."

"Is it true?" the image flickered.

_Not exactly_. "No, what gave you that idea?" She forced herself to appear casual.

"Well…did you find out anything?"

_Actually…_ "Not really," She shook her head in denial.

"Well, there was a break-in a few nights ago."

"A break-in?" Her face was scrunched in shock.

"Apparently some important plans and blueprints were stolen."

"Why weren't we informed?" She demanded navy eyes ablaze.

"The Chancellor didn't want you distracted from the summit. Which is why I ask is everything alright. Am I needed or can Obi Wan handle it?" The olive toned Mirilian opened her mouth before closing it. Gods, she wished Obi Wan had never involved her in this mess.

"Master Offee?" He questioned hesitantly.

Anakin was Obi Wan's best friend, and she had promised to keep an eye out for anything that could be hazardous to the light haired jedi master. Maybe Anakin _could_ help…

"Anakin..."

Or maybe he'd just get in the way.

* * *

**A/N: I just wanted to thank you guys so much for adding this story to your favs and leaving such encouraging reviews! I want you to know that I do I hear your feedback and I do try to get it right. My next update may take a little while because I'm in the process of packing and moving. However, I'm going to leave you guys with a bonus chapter as I usually update in 3's. Enjoy and I'm 100% sincere when I say 'thanx for sticking around!'**


	14. So I Thought

**A/N: It starts out really serious and then it gets 'emotional.' Consider yourselves warned, people.**

'_Fucking bitch! I'll teach you respect, the same way I taught your father!' A large hand closed around her throat relieving precious oxygen to her starving body. A cold smirk shined above her gasping form, as the other rough hand snatched at the clothes on her body._

_She wouldn't beg… she wouldn't… she wouldn't… she-_

Lightening flashed as the sky dropped releasing buckets of rain.

The former dark lady shot up from her bed in terror. Her spine was stiff as a board as she sat upright, chest heaving, craving oxygen and relief from the memories that chained her heart. Asajj could feel the warm tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Fuck!" She gasped, trying to calm her frenzied nerves. Her body shivered as the night air chilled her fevered skin. Leaning back as she caught her breath, she pushed wet strands of hair out of her flushed face.

Deciding a rinse was in order, Asajj jetted out of bed with the intention of washing away sweat and ghost-like touches that made her skin crawl. She stood beneath the stream of hot water trying to make sense of whatever was going on. Her thoughts were hazy, like dust that had yet to settle after an earthquake.

On her way back to her room, she paused in her steps as she realized her jedi was back. She could feel him calmly floating around her thought space. Relieved, she stopped by his room of his door and peeked inside. His dozing form rose gently with each breath that he took.

Leaning against the seal of his door, she felt like such a stalker watching him while soaking in the calm his presence granted. Crossing over the threshold into his room, she glanced around the small bedroom before carefully sitting on the edge of his bed.

What was it about this man that made her so very fond of him?

She could hear her heart steadily picking up pace as she hesitantly reached out to touch him.

The corners of her mouth stretched into a soft smile as her skin connected with the soft cotton of his t-shirt. Moving her fingers slowly across the expanse of his back Asajj could make out scar tissue that disrupted the smoothness of skin.

Frowning, she gently pushed the material up staring at the slightly raised imperfections. How had he gotten these? She touched the blemishes, feeling her thoughts shift which each stroke. He hummed softly, to which she paused.

She felt him shift, causing her to remove her hands like a naughty child afraid of being caught. His head turned and suddenly she found her curious gaze locked with his sleepy one. Neither spoke nor moved. The longer she stared into his blue eyes, the clearer the picture became.

_At first her heart had danced with the possibilities of Obi Wan's imprisonment. Asajj remembered staring into cerulean eyes that held traces of sadness and pity. She had laughed, a dark laugh that would normally curve the spine in fear, but in this case it only succeeded in making her uncharacteristically unsure._

_Her elation melted into insecurity as misery slowly took its place. Locking eyes with the man before her, she felt like she was seeing through him. Past the surface to see the light of a man whose brilliance reminded her of someone else's. And while __**his**__ gaze held sadness, there was also disappointment as imaginary emeralds bore into ice. _

_Blinking and stumbling away from the bars that held Obi Wan there, her face held a nasty sneer as she was shamed by remembrance, and embarrassed by her own scorn. Stupid Jedi and their stupid tricks. She wanted to hurt him- to break his body in the same manner her heart had been broken over and over. But the mere idea of such tortures deepened the scowl that resided only in her memory. How far she had fallen…_

_Asajj could hear __**his**__ gentle voice and see __**his**__ sad eyes now.__** 'You've changed, little one. I'm afraid I can't stay with you like this.'**__ The loneliness that sank into her bones was wounding her rotting heart. She'd do anything to make __**him**__ stay. Anything at all. Even relieve her prize to an abomination that didn't deserve to touch him._

_So she turned him over to the metal monstrosity who at one point had been a man. Forcing her mouth into a cruel tug of lips, Asajj smirked at the defiance that began to surface in blue eyes. She pretended to be excited by the sound of metal ripping into flesh. Pretended that Ky wasn't still disappointed in the life she had chosen. _

_Later, she had snuck into his cell with bacta injections and dressings for his wounds. He had been balancing on the precipice of pain and unconsciousness, teetering back and forth with a vengeance. _

_At the sound of her unlocking his holding cell, Obi Wan had looked up at her with a mixture of surprise and distrust. She must've looked as insecure as he did surprised because there was a reluctant acceptance that came over his beaten form. She slowly went to him and being as gentle as she remembered being with Ky, she removed what was left of his robes whispering comforting words in her native tongue._

_Taking the needle full of the healing solution, she pushed it into his arm injecting the organisms that would have him back in better shape by morning._

"_Why?" He winced, voice rough from screaming._

"_I'm the only one allowed to kill you," had been her quiet response._

_He had laughed but it sounded more like a grunt._

"_You should sleep," She whispered applying ointment to the wounds on his back. Obi Wan hissed at the feeling and the coolness of her hand._

"_So you can kill me in my slumber?" Was his dry response. "No thanks." She'd rolled her eyes._

"_My master taught me better than that. You should save your strength." He jumped as she rubbed more ointment into his flesh._

"_Heaven's! Your hands are freezing," he wheezed._

"_Your skin's burning up, you idiot. That's what happens when you lay bleeding on a grimy, germ-infested floor."_

"_Your self-proclaimed worst enemy mends your wounds?"_

"_Quiet."_

"_Well, you know what they say about cold hands…"_

"_Finish it and you're a dead man!" _

_He chuckled weakly. Annoyed at the lack of animosity in the air, she sent a faint suggestion of sleep. He immediately slumped forward, unconscious. After finishing, she laid him down on his side and left the cell._

_Staring back at his sleeping form, Asajj realized she was resentful of Obi Wan simply because he was everything she wanted, longed for and missed. The next night he would escape and she would go on to pretend she was the most upset she ever had been. _

Falling off the bed in the shock and alarm, Asajj Ventress gasped at the suffocating feeling that came with the lucidness of things better left forgotten. Dooku, the sith, Skywalker, Boz Pity, Ratattak- everything came crashing down in one horrible instant. She was vaguely aware of Obi Wan at her side encouraging her to breathe.

Her silver eyes searched his face desperately for some type of assurance that that hadn't been her life. But the concern and pity that stared back was proof enough. Feeling overwhelmed, Asajj realized she had to get out. She had to leave this man and make sense of the horrible visions that ran rampant in her head.

* * *

After gathering himself from a heap against the wall, the Republic General had immediately bolted in pursuit of the woman

He swore under his breath, still shocked by the intensity of her force blast as she had yet to do anything of that nature with her abilities. He could feel her turmoil bubbling through their link causing him to stumble grasping his head in pain. Water fell from the sky accenting every ounce of sorrow and regret the former Dark Lady felt.

Focusing on countering her negativity with calmness and reassurance, he gathered his bearings before tracking her movements. Rain soaked his hair and robes as he began his trek to find the despairing Asajj Ventress.

* * *

Assaj could not help the horror that gripped her heart and fueled her running.

How could she have done such a thing?

And to him no less?

She felt… sick. Terribly sick with grief and guilt.

She couldn't have hated him that much. To allow that monstrosity to rip into his flesh and mock his strength.

She couldn't…

The sound of his cries still rang loudly in her ears as her thoughts replayed her inaction over and over.

Tripping over a stump, Asajj stumbled forward landing on the wet ground with a grunt. Oblivious to the mud that coated her clothes and smudged her face, she quickly scurried to her feet as her body continued its surge forward to distance herself from her discovery back at the cottage. Tearing through foliage and trees, her fingers still burned from the scars she'd felt etched into his back.

Scars she might as well have put there. There was only one other person who could hate Obi Wan more than she thought she did and that was General Grievous.

To know that at one point in her life she relished in the pain and destruction she had caused was truly heartbreaking. She'd been so angry and so broken that the only pain and suffering that mattered to her was her own. The world had needed to pay for its wrongs against her. Especially that idealistic jedi, who reminded her of her own- how dare he survive when her Ky had not?

True she hadn't tried to kill him that night, but she certainly didn't do anything to stop it. For every evil word and deed she'd thrown at him, he'd only sought to be her solace. Obi Wan had risen above her strife and instead offered her another chance.

How could she even look at such a man? Claim to have loved any of the men she had?

Her father had fought to protect them from the thing she'd ultimately become. He'd died standing up for what he believed in. And instead of ridding the world of hatred and oppression, she'd thrown a fit and spat on his sacrifice. What kind of daughter was she? Ky would've been so disappointed in her. All that faith and pride gone to waste.

Asajj could not stop the guttural sobs that shook her frame or the tears that blurred her vision.

One minute she was running as fast as she could, and the next she felt herself crashing onto the ground, skin and clothes stained by mud and minerals.

She could feel her heart ache, pained by her past. Burying her face in dirty hands, she laid there aching and sobbing as the rains of Naboo burned her skin in condemnation.

So lost was she to her own torment, that she didn't even feel him till she was roughly hauled to her feet forced to face the sins of her past.

Silver eyes were clouded by tears as she turned so as not to see the loathe that surely rested in his eyes… Blinded by a sea of dark curls, she wanted to speak, but all that ran through her thoughts were 'He can't possibly want to see me now…'

Her whole body shook as the nature of her lamentations increased. She had been a force of malignance and violence. Something contemptible… Just like Kirske… Just like the warlords she'd stamped out of existence… like Dooku…

'_I don't deserve this… I don't deserve this…'_

"Asajj," he pleaded afraid of the nature of her thoughts. He'd never felt something so poisonously self-loathing. "It was a different time! You were an angry girl with no one to protect you from anything!"

She remembered a conversation she'd had with him before.

"_I won't lie to you, you __**hav**__e done horrible things and you probably __**do**__ deserve what's happening to you…"_

Obi Wan was right. Maybe she did deserve this, but she most definitely did not deserve for him to help her.

"Don't!" He begged, shaking her shoulders with concern alit in his eyes. "You can't change thepast! Everyone makes mistakes, you just have to do what you can to rectify them!"

Holding her face with both hands he turned her head so she was looking at him with her distraught eyes.

"No one forced me to do anything! I knew what I was doing… I waged war simply because I could! I've murdered your friends without even a second thought. I've lied, stolen and other things-" She sobbed aloud, grasping his wrist with her muddy fingers. "How can you even look at me?"

Her hands tangled in his robe as she begged him to leave.

He was taken aback by such a request, reacting as if he'd been struck.

"You can't-"

"Please, Obi Wan!" She cried, "They'll kill you if they find out about me! They'll charge you with treason and crucify you… I'm not worth that! I'm not worth anything- especially that!"

It broke his heart to know that she actually believed this about herself. Pushing wet strands out of her face, azure eyes bored deep into silver. The emotion within them and that which surged through their link took her completely by surprise. With Barriss still undecided, he didn't know what to expect… So he had decided to be honest.

He couldn't…

He didn't…

"Don't ever ask that of me. I can forgive you of anything, but the one thing I could never forgive you of is giving up on this- On Yourself…"

He couldn't feel so strongly about her.

"But I had you tortured, smiled in the face of your pain. I'm an assassin for force sakes! I've hunted and killed and… You don't know what you're … You can't!"

The more he listened to the hurt in her voice and felt the strength of her grief, the more he wanted to pull her close and push it all away.

"Obi Wan-"

Before she could blink, his hands had dropped to her forearms, holding with a bruising pressure as his mouth crashed down on hers devouring her mouth in a heart stopping kiss. Asajj found herself losing her balance as he pulled her soaking body flush against his.

Obi Wan savored the moment, letting his tongue caress her bottom lip until her mouth responded, allowing him entrance. How this felt familiar, kissing her in the rain the way he was. She tasted of rain and sorrow, something he vowed to cure her of as his tongue stroked her own. His pulse was wild as he continued his indulgence in this woman.

The force behind the jedi's actions left the nerve endings of her lips ablaze. She could feel the power of his emotion driving her loathing back until all she felt was his love and compassion.

When he finally pulled away with a sharp nip, she regarded him with shock.

"None of that matters to me, love. We can fix this Asajj… Trust me. Just… _trust_ me. I can help you. All you have to do is let me."

'He does… He loves me… Really loves me… He can't… And he does… and I… I've always…'

She could feel more tears spilling down her cheeks as the rain continued to pelt down upon them. Gods, how did she get to be so hated? Her thoughts were a jumble. This was madness. The old Asajj would've laughed at the absurdity of this man loving her but the woman she was now was too tired, and confused to care.

Burying her face in his neck and pulling him closer, she felt his arms circle around her as her body trembled. Falling into him completely, she gave in to the exhaustion that stained her thought process.

She was afraid of his emotions for her. She couldn't be what he was to her. She could never be that to him as he deserved better… Much better than the Notorious Asajj Ventress.

"Then we'll make her better," was his whispered reply. She could feel him kiss her hair, before he leaned back and captured her mouth in another tender embrace of lips. Silver eyes closed as she allowed herself a small reprieve.

'Together,' he projected. 'Together we'll make you better.'

* * *

**A/N: Yeah…. Emotional sounds better than sappy… but the next chapter is just as 'emotionally' intimate. So enjoy that romance listing. As always- thanx for sticking around! I'll update as soon as I'm situated in my 'new/old' digs. Review please!**


	15. Paz a Ti

**A/N: Finally! An update! Thanx so much for all the lovely reviews! I'm so happy you guys still read this! Hopefully these new additions will not disappoint. Any-who, this is kinda fluffy… So consider yourself warned….**

* * *

**Paz a Ti- Heladp Negro**

After they'd come in from the rain, he'd immediately deposited her in the empty tub and held her as he rinsed her off. He whispered softly as he used the movable shower head to wash away her tears and the dirt that stained her skin.

When he was done, rinsing the two of them off, he cleaned out the tub, filled it with hot water and left her to her own devices as he went to deal with his own sopping clothes.

Closing her eyes, Asajj allowed the hot water to relax her aching muscles as she sunk beneath the waters of the porcelain tub she rested in. Allowing her thoughts to wander she was surprised to resurface and find Obi Wan sitting beside the tub with his eyes gently shining down on her. He wore a pair of pants with no robes or tunics.

The soft patter of rain could still be heard outside as the two regarded each other silently. His eyes never left hers which she was thankful for. She wasn't ashamed of her body as most of her scars had faded, but she still felt nervous baring herself like this.

Running a hand through wet curls, Asajj rested her head against the wall of the tub. She could still feel the shock that flowed through her veins as she thought about his feelings for her. She could feel it like she could feel her heart beat. It was wonderful… thrilling, safe. But it was also a sin against the jedi. Could she let him risk such a thing? And for her no less?

Her voice was soft, curious, when she asked, "Have you ever been in love before?"

Fading into his thoughts, Obi Wan pondered her question seriously. He had desired a special kind of companionship before, but he'd never let it escalate past that desire.

"No… I don't suppose I have. I imagine I could've though."

'_Ahh… so there was one…'_

"What was she like?" He smiled at her perceptiveness.

"She was… funny- brilliant and kind. We grew up together at the temple and I suppose we had feelings for each other. But we were young and inexperienced. Being a jedi was more important." She watched his eyes dull at the mention of this jedi girl.

Asajj imagined, with a bout of bittersweet irony, that he probably wished he loved that girl now. She must've been beautiful with long blonde hair, and blue- no hazel eyes. Like Padme: All prim and proper. She snorted a laugh, to which he rose a brow.

"Blue… actually. Her eyes were blue."

Past tense… So she was dead then.

Asajj was afraid to ask, so she didn't. She didn't want to think about all the horrible things she'd probably done to him. Instead, she allowed herself to slip back underwater, only opening her eyes when she felt the pressure of fingertips against her cheek.

They'd been doing that a lot: studying the other. He was a distorted man of ginger and peach floating before the pale blue ceiling of the bathroom from her vision beneath the steaming water.

To him, she looked like a sea nymph, with her clear eyes and inky tresses. Slipping his hand to the base of her neck, he urged her forward wanting her closer.

Exhaling, she allowed him to pull her up from beneath the water. As soon as she broke surface he pressed his lips to hers in a wet kiss. Enjoying the pressure of her mouth against his, he lightly nipped at her bottom lip before moving away.

She had dreamed about kissing him, but being able to experience it in real life was something she didn't suppose she'd ever get over despite her reservations of what such kisses meant.

'_You didn't… And that was a lifetime ago. I prefer this… being with you now than to wonder about what could've been with someone else.'_

Obi Wan realized long ago, as Anakin pointed it out over and over, that he'd been obsessed with Ventress. Asajj was fierce, calculating… a woman in the truest sense of the word- tragically sad, and alluringly feminine. What started as a grudging respect had changed into admiration. Soon after, he found his esteem for her prowess stained by an obsession to understand and ultimately heal.

Resettling against the tub, her face flushed the smallest bit. "Would you be so kind to me if I had taken her from you?"

"You've killed others that were close to me and yet here I am."

She dropped her eyes as the guilt surfaced. She wanted to disappear beneath the surface, but something urged her to stay. He wasn't judging her, just stating a fact. So she gathered her strength and leaned over to the side he sat looking him in the eyes. Her hands gripped the porcelain's edge as she spoke.

"But you loved her… '_Love her still_…' If I'd ran my saber through her heart would you still be so fond of me?"

"But isn't that what you did to all the others?"

She dropped back with a _splash_ feeling unsure yet determined all the same.

"Yes, but that isn't what I asked you."

After gathering his thoughts, the jedi warrior spoke.

"When Siri died… I was regretful and filled with loss. She was a part of my life I didn't ever think I'd lose- I never even entertained the idea that she could be taken the way she was." He paused, dropping his gaze to the crème colored tiles of the floor.

"Jedi are taught to detach themselves, a feat that's easier said than done. It's an understandable theme, yet, I think it limits us in a sense. Grief is one of the strongest emotions a person can feel. It can drive you mad with anger, loathing and sadness." Asajj frowned at the thick emotion in his voice concerned with his brief spike of sadness. There was pain for his old master and friends.

Obi Wan took a deep breath before gathering his composure and continuing.

"When a person is ailed with such a thing, they become unpredictable- a liability to themselves and the people around them. It can give way to hatred and vengeance. I don't think I've ever hated you… I resented you, but I never felt hate for you despite your actions."

She tilted her head softly as she observed him. She thought of her past, especially her father. _'There is nothing wrong with feeling human, Aasta, it's the greatest curse a man can ever hope to feel. To mourn a loved one is a way to let their spirit free… Should you never grieve, they'll be forced to watch you waste away. Let it go, so that they may go to enjoy a life beyond you and that you may continue living.'_

He always knew just what to say to make her feel better. Leaning forward again, she reached out for Obi Wan, caressing his face with dainty fingertips, prompting him to continue. Maybe, she should say something to ease his melancholy.

A warm feeling traveled their link as he was touched by her concern. Obi Wan could see the goosebumps prickle against her skin as the air skirted across her naked form. He tried not to stare at her alabaster body, but instead looked into her round features.

"But there is something stronger than even grief," He said grasping her hand as a ray of light broke through his thoughts.

"Love?" Was her semi-amused response.

He laughed, turning his head to place a light kiss on the inside of her wrist. "Love is a powerful thing capable of moving mountains, but before that… there's forgiveness. A single act of forgiveness can change everything, Asajj. And I forgave you of everything a long time ago… Jedi have killed before and I'm no innocent in such matters." He waited for her to consider his words before continuing. "Your Father was a wise man, and yet you don't take his advice."

Her thoughts swirled around the loss of her family and her response to such things.

Pulling away from him, she reacted as if she'd been stung. This is why they'd never work.

"Some things are unforgivable."

He reached for her through their link, "They can only define you if you let them."

She laughed mirthlessly, "But they do, my dear Obi Wan, and they have for a long time now." She had a past and he had to understand that it would always define her. Deciding she'd been in the tub long enough, she drew herself up to her full height, watching as his eyes followed her movements.

"That's not true…" he stood to retrieve her a towel, turning his back to her glistening form.

"But it is… Do you know what my markings meant?"

"No…" He turned back around holding a towel open to wrap her in it.

"They each represented a warlord." Some part of her screamed that she shut up, but another part of her refused to back down in some twisted version of self-sacrifice. Or maybe it was fear of being truly accountable by rejecting a type of independence she'd long since given up on.

'_Tell me.'_

He waited for her to continue as she stepped out of the clawed-foot tub and onto cool tile. Wrapping the towel around her, Obi Wan frowned at the ice that settled in her voice and the bitterness in her eyes.

"It took me five years, but I hunted and killed every single one." She held the giant white towel tightly to herself as she sunk onto the close-lid toilet letting her mind remind her of the hurtful things she'd never would've wanted to remember. "I killed those men and those who stood with them without a care. They were murderers… liars… thieves… rapist. And while death would've been justice for those they had hurt, it wasn't about justice for me- It was about revenge." Kneeling with her, Obi Wan wrapped his larger hands around hers wanting to soothe but knowing how much she needed this even if it was to push him away. "About making them suffer the way I had suffered."

"That must've been difficult…"

"Not really," she blinked. "I didn't… I didn't feel anything at all… "

"No?" He found their connection oddly quiet, but the storm in her eyes made him ready for whatever was to come.

She shook her head, "It was more of a promise of things to come. They were there to serve a purpose."

Locks of hair fell into her face as tears trailed down her cheeks. Tucking hair behind her ear, he encouraged her to continue in a gentle voice. "What do you mean, love?"

'_Please, don't call me such things…'_

'_Even if it's true?'_

"It was a message for Kirske… I wanted him to know I was coming for him and that there was nothing he could do about it. The people rallied behind me because they thought I was a champion of justice. But the truth was I didn't care about them." He could see a flicker of something in her eyes as she continued. "But if I were to kill a tyrant why not let it be for the good of the people. I supposed they'd deserved it even if my cause was a farce. "

"Did killing him bring you peace?"

She laughed, a haunting sound.

"No… I didn't kill him… Ratattaki's don't believe in mercy… And death would be too merciful for someone like him. I left him to rot in a cell that would eventually become our capital. Where I kept… _'you.'_ I imagine he still sits there today."

Steeling her nerves and her resolve, she purposefully denied their link as she wanted to make things clear to him no matter how horrible it was- or how disgusting he thought her because of it.

"I don't regret what I've done as it helped my people in the long run, but… I'm no better than the rest, you know. I'm not sorry about a lot things."

He could feel his heart drop still despite knowing her intentions. "Asajj-"

"Which makes me ask…how can you love someone so cruel? A woman with no regard for life but her own… how can you know that you love me when you've never even felt that way with someone who'd have been _perfect _for you? Who was _**perfect **_for you?"

Obi Wan steadied himself before responding with a comforting lull he'd once heard from a wise author. "Sometimes when a heart breaks it can grow back crooked… twisted, gnarled and hard."

"Don't try to- I had Ky and… a home... " her voice was unsteady… desperate.

"A person will do things they normally wouldn't do. Become something they never wanted to be. You were young," His voice was soft and reassuring.

"A father," her voice broke. "A _**beautiful**_ mother and sister-'

"And they were all taken away from you." He finished wiping her tears away as her emotions began to spill into their link.

She was heartbroken and trembling. "My father spent his life being honorable and... And I…"

"You saved your people…"

"But I didn't" she insisted as the dam was cracked and she felt herself rocking.

"And yet you did… He murdered the only family you ever had… he stole your innocence."

Her eyes snapped up in horror as she physically drew herself away from him in shame and embarrassment only to have him hold on tighter.

She wanted to ask 'how,' but she couldn't find the strength the voice it. Instead she found her face in her hands as she quietly sobbed at the mix of feeling and memories that shook her core.

"You may not want to remember what you dream, but I experience them with you every time. I've seen what you lived through, love." Obi Wan's voice was thick as he slowly wrapped his arms around her, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder as she allowed her body release through her tears.

"I cried with you as he murdered your father and sister in front of you and made you his… consort." Her arms snaked around him as she pressed tighter to him, not wanting to deal with such memories alone. Her cries were painful, but the Republic General held her tight and pressed on despite the tears and sadness in his own eyes.

"I felt your hope when you realized you could have something new and pure with Narec, and I watched as you held him in your arms as Kirske took the last bit of humanity you thought you owned."

"I'm… I did-"

'I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…' And all he could process was her sorrow and regret.

"I'm not blaming you for anything, love. I'm telling you that I understand, and for you to be the woman you are now, and even the woman you were, takes more strength than you give yourself credit for. You can't always judge people by the things they have done. You have to judge them by what they are doing now. And right now, all I see is you finally having what you needed when you were 12 years old watching your family being destroyed.'

"Love, you have to grieve… you have to let it all go. I told you you were strong enough and I meant it. "

Asajj held onto him as years' worth of anger, loneliness and disgust slowly gave way to sorrow.

"And if you can't stand it on your own, lean on me… let me…. Let me help you."

Everything was spinning out of control and even though her heart was in pain, she could feel Obi Wan making it bearable.

In that moment, something important happened- Asajj Ventress finally found what she needed to mourn the life she could have had and the woman she could've been. She cried for the family she'd lost, the man she had loved and this man she'd come to love.

Her expression of such anguish was cathartic, and that was what she needed most.

* * *

**A/N: Woot! Woot! Did you like it? I kinda dug it… I like Obi Wan being all gentle and understanding, I don't like my girl being so weepy, but it's necessary. I probably went a little overboard with the history, but you don't have a deep rooted hatred over spillled milk. Review please! And as always, thanx for sticking around!**

**Lines by ****Kate DiCamillo that I incorporated:**

"…**grief was the strongest thing a person could feel? Well it isn't. It's forgiveness because a single act of forgiveness can change everything."**

"**When your heart breaks it can grow back crooked. It grows back twisted and gnarled and hard."**

"**Love, as we have already discussed is a powerful wonderful ridiculous thing capable of moving mountains."**

"**You can't always judge people by what they've done, you've got to judge them by what they're doing" *something like that anyway***


	16. Daniel

**Daniel- Bat For Lashes**

_Palace Security Footage 01:13 - Days Ago_

Ventress' slim figure sashayed about the room as she took a quick glance around. After confirming this was the right location, she settled in front of the war room's main computer. Sneaking into the Queen's palace had been easier than she thought. Getting down to business, the dark assassin wasted no time by entering a series of algorithms that allowed her to override the mainframe's firewalls and access the Naboo-ian government's files.

"_**Are you in yet**__?"_ came the static-like voice of an elite-class technicians droid over her communications earpiece.

"Yes."

"_**Insert the transmissions' encryptor and upload it to the computer's network.**__"_

"Whatever you want…" she murmured, following his instructions. The war room's computers' whirred to life as she inserted the sleek attachment device that would allow her companion access to the information needed. Moments later, the attachment beeped letting her know that the droid had found what he was looking for and was now streaming the information from this system to the Seperatist flag ship's database.

Exhaling loudly, the icy assassin watched the completion meter on the screen appearing bored now that her part was through. Jumping to her feet, she turned her attention to the weapons secured on her thighs.

"The things I do…" she sighed, lovingly stroking a hilt as she inspected its curved, sleek design.

Her ear piece crackled back to life. _"__**Done. Now, upload the virus and get out.**__"_

"Affirmative." Plopping back down into her chair, Ventress slid back to the computer inserting a special datapad into the appropriate slot. Typing in the necessary passwords and coding, she watched as the transaction began activating the program.

Standing up, Ventress paused as the faint sound of footsteps caught her attention.

Checking to see how much longer it would take to complete her mission, the exotic woman decided to have a little fun while she waited. Positioning herself out of sight, she waited patiently in the shadows of the corner nearest the door. Seconds later, two Naboo-ian palace guards stumbled into the room ready to dispose of an intruder.

The men appeared confused as no one was about but the console was working as if someone were using it.

"I thought you said someone had hacked the mainframe from this system," One of the guards said looking around. The other walked towards the functioning device studying the initiated sequence and the small attachment it was streaming to.

"They did," He mused leaning forward reaching for the sleek memory stick that had been inserted to transmit the information.

"And here I thought no one was home," Ventress purred as she phased on one of her weapons.

"Halt!"

A decapitating blow from her sabre silenced the guard forever as a pulse of red light cut through muscle and bone. The other's eyes widened in horror as his friend's head hit the ground with a wet-sounding _thud._

"Holy fuck!" He screeched falling backwards as he watched the headless body fall forward into a heap of weak spasms.

Cruel feminine features were presented by an illuminating pulse of crimson.

"Come now," Ventress' smoky voice cooed mischievously, "Don't make it so easy."

The young guard didn't put up much of a fight even as she took her time disposing of him. By the time she was through, her transmission had been complete. Smirking at her handiwork, she ejected both the transmitter and the datapad crushing them under her heel.

Securing her weapon she stepped over the headless guard's body exiting the room without a care.

**BREAK-IT-UP**

"Chancellor."

"Anakin, so glad you decided to come." The two shook hands as they greeted each other. "Please take a seat." Palpatine gestured towards the empty chair in front of his desk.

After his discussion with the tight-lipped Barriss, Anakin decided to see for himself what was going on. He took the first shuttle out and made it to the planet a couple hours later. If something was amiss, he'd make it his business to find out. The jedi's chosen sat down as he waited for the politician to continue.

"You don't understand how relieved I am that you came."

"A friend told me not to worry but my gut was telling me something else."

"Good because I'm afraid there was more to the break-in than we originally thought."

Anakin raised a brow, "What do you mean?"

"We intercepted a coded message a few hours ago. My staff has managed to intercept its signal and are now working to find where it was being sent."

This sounded serious. "What happened?"

"See for yourself."

**BREAK-IT-UP**

If realizing the man you cared about was playing Russian roulette to be with you wasn't enough to make you altruistic, then finding out their biggest enemy was using you to get to them was probably more than enough to make you rethink your position in their life.

Such was the case for Asajj Ventress.

Last night had been exhausting, but as soon as she saw what was waiting for her on the comm unit, she found herself right back where she started: Confused and upset.

Black eyes gleamed wrathfully from the recorded hologram.

"_You have done well, Ventress._

_I applaud your progress with the jedi, however, it is time for you to get on with it my dear. The raid was a success as we have the information needed. Now, __**your**__ task is simple: _

_Prove yourself and assassinate both Queen Amidala __**and**__ that naïve fool, Obi Wan Kenobi."_

_I will be watching. Do not fail me or the price will extend beyond your life._

This was the third time she replayed the Count's transmission.

If Dooku knew where she was and who she was with, then it was only a matter of time until he sent someone to deal with her. Asajj pulled at her dark hair as panic set in overshadowing the fear. She hadn't trained in months! Granted she could do a decent job of defending herself as old habits die hard, but there was no way she could take on the Count or that Metal Monstrosity he'd probably send to 'take care of her.' And what about Shuri and her family?

Gods… Why did this have to happen now? And **how** had Dooku found out?

She had no doubt that Obi Wan could fend for himself, but the Seperatist leader was in a category all of his own, and as much as she hated to admit it, so was Grievous.

"Fuck!"

She needed to leave. Despite his boldness, Dooku knew there was great risk in planning something like this with Naboo as a recipient. That he actually had the gall to propose such a thing, and to **her** no less, said a lot about whatever the man had planned.

Completing the task was completely out of question. She was his fool no longer and she'd be damned if she'd hurt Obi Wan.

The Jedi Master had done so much for her, but what could she do in her state? Last night was the first time she'd slept without the aid of sleeping pills or force suppressants, and it was only because Obi Wan was there to anchor her thoughts. If she couldn't get a grip on her abilities then they were useless.

'_**Shit… Shit… Shit… Shit…**_' The former acolyte found herself pacing, a trait she picked up from the blue eyed man. He'd be sour if he'd heard her carrying on like this. Her face flushed as she remembered the way he'd taken care of her last night. He'd been so gentle with her… and the way he kissed her- Now was not the time! Why couldn't she get him out of her mind?!

Maybe…

No! He couldn't and she was stupid for even thinking it.

But maybe…

Maybe he could help? He'd done so much already…. And this **was** as much of a threat to his life as it was to hers. She needed him… Being with Obi Wan brought out things in her she didn't know she had anymore.

Swallowing her uncertainty, she decided she would tell him.

**BREAK-IT-UP**

The Mirilian found it odd for there to be a security breach within distance of the notorious Asajj Ventress. Since she was done with her summit duties, she decided to go and introduce herself to the former sith witch. She didn't doubt her friend's judgment, but it never hurt to be sure.

Besides, she'd need to evaluate the woman herself if she were to be of any assistance. What the doctor described had sounded as ridiculous as it did fascinating. The summit would be over in a couple of days so the sooner she did her homework the better.

**BREAK-IT-UP**

Obi Wan sighed almost miserably. Barriss was lucky she didn't have any meetings to delegate or negotiate. Everyone had been so skittish, and to make matters worse everything was drawn out as palace guards were all over the place. He'd been so distracted by his own affairs that it didn't dawn on him that something could be up.

He sat in the meal hall casually sipping water enjoying the much needed break. Between the negotiations and his situation with Asajj, he felt like he was losing it. He was still deep in thought when a familiar monarch approached him with a weathered smile.

"Obi Wan! I'm so glad I found you," bright brown eyes stared at him.

"Padme, is everything alright?"

"Not really," She huffed.

"Well, I have about ten minutes till the next session starts," he offered gesturing towards an empty seat. Padme sat down smiling gratefully.

"As you know the farewell ball is tomorrow night, but the Twi'lek dancers that my staff had booked **just** cancelled- which is ridiculous because this was planned _months _in advance." Obi Wan raised a brow at the slight rant and the annoyed expression about regal features. "As if that wasn't enough of a nuisance, the second act we had died in an accident two days ago. So now we have **no one **listed for entertainment."

Obi Wan just stared as he didn't really know how to respond. "Who was the second act?"

"Diva Plavalaguna."

"Oh." He'd heard of her. Her singing prowess was legendary- it was a pity such a talent was lost. "That's horrible news."

Padme took a deep breath seemingly dismissing the emotion all together. "But honestly none of that would be so bad if there hadn't been that security breach. Now Anakin's here and everyone is doubting my ability to do my job. Of all the people to send… Do you have any idea how bad this looks that I have to have **three** of the orders best to deal with this? The press is having a field day!" She moaned oblivious to her companion's expression.

"Anakin? Security breach? Padme…What's going on? Is… Is Anakin here?"

"My ten minutes are almost up! Please, Obi Wan, do me this favor."

"I don't know-"

"Your Chandrillan friend is a dancer right? "

Speak of the devil… "Who… Oh no-"

"Could you persuade her to perform for the ball? Please, Obi Wan! I would contact the planet's agency, but I thought this would save time since you know her. I really don't need the press broadcasting my inability to organize a ball on top of this security issue." Honestly Padme could care less, but for appearances sake she had to. It'd be a good distraction at least.

"Senator Amidala!"

"Padme, wait!"

"Obi Wan, I have to go, but look for me after your next session, I promise I'll explain everything! If you can't do it let me know and I'll get someone else to contact her." With that the Naboo monarch scampered away to one of her advisors leaving the jedi master in an even fouler mood.

**BREAK-IT-UP**

As soon as Barriss stepped into the cottage, strong hands ascended upon her and she was thrown against a wall with enough force to stun. The perpetrator wasted no time in twisting her arm painfully behind her back, securing their position by pressing a knife firmly against her neck.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" the voice hissed.

Wincing, the jedi healer berated herself for underestimating the former assassin. She wasn't even aware that a force user was here. More embarrassed than concerned by her predicament, she used what she hoped was a voice of neutrality to calm the other down.

"I bring you no harm, Asajj Ventress. My name is Barriss Offee. I am a jedi healer here as a favor to Master Obi Wan. He and Dr. Aldreska explained your situation to me and thought I could be of assistance." Holding her breath, she waited for the other woman's response.

Sensing no deceit, or ill will, from the female jedi, Asajj released her from her grip watching as she was presented with a tattooed face that was similar to another jedi she'd fought a lifetime ago.

Barriss watched the conflicting emotions play out across Ventress' face before she seemingly got a grip, turned and disappeared down the hall. Making her way through the cozy living area and into the kitchen, Barriss was thoughtful as she took in her surroundings and the anxious attitude of her new patient. Leaning against the kitchen counter, she waited patiently for the other's return.

Finally, Ventress reappeared with a couple of garments in her grasp. It was then that Barriss noticed the small half full duffle on the kitchen table. "You're leaving," she commented watching as the other stuffed her bag with fervor. "Does Obi Wan know?"

"No. and by the time he does I'll be gone."

"Where will you go? It's not as if you have any friends or family to speak of."

Asajj paused in her movements, placing a hand on her hip as her expression showed her annoyance.

"I thought you jedi found me despicable."

Barriss frowned at the lack of emotion in the air. She tried to feel the other's aura but couldn't pick up on anything. There was something _different _about this woman, and it looked like she'd have to figure it out the old-fashioned way.

"Is Obi Wan included?" She asked after a while.

"He's different," Ventress' expression softened for a split second, "We have history."

"Do you?"

"He doesn't judge me."

"Well, it's certainly not me you have to answer to," Barriss replied not unkindly.

"I tried to kill your Master," Asajj deflected sharply.

"Lucky me, you didn't succeed. Luminara is more than capable of taking care of herself. You may be good, but jedi masters are supposed to be better."

"Indubitably," Ventress rolled her eyes bitterly as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"But you could be too…" Barriss said carefully monitoring the other's reaction, "if you gave yourself the chance."

Blinking, Asajj was caught off guard before gathering her wits about her. "I've caused enough trouble for Obi Wan and Shuri. You're right- I don't have many friends so I figure I should probably do right by the few I do have." What was the healer playing at?

"By running away?" Barriss asked.

"I'm not running…" she grumbled, "I'm being realistic. Dooku knows I'm alive and I won't let him destroy the only two people who've shown me kindness. They don't deserve it."

"And how will that help you with you a condition you can't control?" Realization lightened navy eyes. _Clever girl. _"You're smart in rejecting the force, but eventually someone will realize who you are. Going back to the man who betrayed you isn't going to help."

"I'm not…" Asajj's frustration was apparent. Sighing, the former acolyte went back to packing with the other woman hot on her heels, "I realize how much of a fool I was. I should know better than anyone how the sith betray each other." She pushed into her room raiding another drawer for some unknown thing. "I mean let's be honest- I wasn't even in the running. I was a puppet…"

Maybe Obi Wan was right- Ventress really had changed. Barriss stood in the doorway watching the emotion that played out on sharp features. "No… you were human. And you fell…"

"Hard." Asajj leaned heavily against the bureau.

"But now you have a second chance… The order could help you in more ways than one." 'Not to mention keep an eye on you and keep Obi Wan from doing something stupid.' She wasn't blind to the feeling of her fellow jedi.

"I'm a wanted criminal! And I can't stay with Obi Wan." That seemed to sober the former acolyte up as she grabbed an item and went to throw it in her bag.

"You're afraid. Rightfully so, but any of us could've been you." Barriss appealed. Pause. "You wanna know the difference between you and me?"

Asajj rolled her eyes. "This ought to be good."

"I accept the person I am."

"What are you talking about?"

"By accepting the person I am, I am free from my doubt and insecurity. That's not to say that I don't experience those emotions, but because I accept that I am prone to those feelings, it gives me the freedom to go beyond my insecurities."

Physically Asajj was dismissive, but her eyes still showed her hesitancy. "I've no illusions about who I am- was. I was an assassin for force-sakes!"

"Then why is it that you feel such dissonance with yourself?" Barriss asked seriously blocking her way.

"Because! I'm ashamed of who I was… No amount of enlightened philosophy can change that." She responded hating how simple Barriss made everything sound. "There are other ways to go about this- smarter ways." She pushed past the other in obvious frustration.

"Most people don't realize it, but there's a difference between guilt and remorse. With enough apathy one can ignore their guilt… but not remorse. Remorse is what makes a person redeemable. You say you want to do right by the few friends you do have, well prove it." Barriss' dark eyes flashed with challenge.

"By committing suicide?! If I'm going to die it'll be on my own terms- not on my knees in front of your 'great Republic.'"

"You've done horrible things, Asajj Ventress, but you're not that person any longer. The jedi order will see that… They can help you," Barriss continued. Ventress shook her head mirthlessly. "Obi Wan deserves that much…"

She halted in her tracks.

Barriss mentally smiled as she watched Asajj's expression flicker with doubt. It seemed that the dark lady was finally coming around.

**BREAK-IT-UP**

After going through the palace's security footage, the Jedi's Chosen was beyond livid. 'Fucking sith wench!' He knew her death was too good to be true. He'd recognize her anywhere. He couldn't help the sneer that marred his otherwise handsome features as his Dark eyes followed the lithe figure on the screen as he replayed the breach.

The Chancellor appeared concerned by the anger he felt radiating off his confidant. "Anakin-"

"I want to collaborate with Obi Wan on this." The Chosen's tone left no room for argument as his posture was stiff with anger. "Ventress is clever, and while I'd _love_ to dispatch of her myself, she's known for her evasion of capture. It's the only way to be sure."

"Are you sure Master Kenobi is up to it?"

"He will be."

Palpatine nodded, pleased with his knight's tenaciousness. "Whatever you think is best."

Anakin closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose feeling overwhelmed with concern and anger. He really wanted to see Padme. The thought of her in danger made him sick with worry. Knowing it was Ventress Dooku sent just pissed him off.

"Maybe you should talk to the Senator to assure her that the situation is being handled properly," The Chancellor suggested innocently. "Afterwards, you can brief Master Kenobi. The sooner you find him, the better."

Nodding, Anakin flashed a weak smile as he left to do just that.


	17. The Bad in Each Other

**The Bad in Each Other- Feist**

Anakin couldn't believe this. He'd just given Obi Wan the specifics of the break-in and the older man wouldn't even entertain the idea that the person on the screen was Asajj Ventress. The two were alone in palace's war room reviewing security footage.

Skywalker stared at his companion in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?!"

Obi Wan felt as if the floor had fallen from beneath him. It couldn't have been her… it couldn't. There was no way it could've been. Ripping a hand through his hair, he stared up at his friend, willing him to trust him. "Look, I know what that looks like… But I know her and-"

"Knew of her," Anakin corrected agitated by Obi Wan's denial of the obvious.

"Excuse me?"

"You knew **of** her, but don't for a second think you knew her! That bitch was- **IS**- always up to no good!"

"Are you hearing yourself?" Obi Wan exclaimed incredulously. "There's no way Ventress could've done this!" How could he tell Anakin his reasoning behind everything without hurting him?

Anakin gave him a look.

Obi Wan conceded with an eye roll. "Normally this would be up her alley, but that isn't her style! She'd have never allowed herself to be caught like this and she wouldn't have bought any unwanted attention by killing the guards in such a manner and leaving them to be found."

"Are you hearing **yourself**?! This has her name written all over it. IT'S HER! Look at the feed!" He shouted gesturing towards the looping playback onscreen. "Anyone would tell you so!" Anakin couldn't believe it had come to this. He'd really thought Obi Wan would come through and help him.

"It's too obvious. A wise jedi-"

"Enough!" He bellowed, chest rising. "I'm not your padawan anymore and you're not in charge of this- I am!" Anakin was a mix of emotion that the other was all too aware of.

"Anakin," he pleaded desperately, "you weren't with her when she died, she was-"

"Stop it! Just stop! This has gone on long enough! Padme's life is at stake here, or do you even care?"

"What's the matter with you? Padme is my friend too, but behaving like a madman won't do anything to keep her safe. You're letting your personal feelings for the Senator and your hatred for Asajj cloud your mind!"

"Oh- so she's Asajj now?" His tone was laced with bitterness and anger.

Obi Wan's was the opposite. "You may not be my padawan anymore, but you're nowhere near my designation. Don't think for a second that you're better than anyone simply because the Chancellor keeps you at his beck and call!"

"You'd choose some hopeless wench over me? Your brother?"

The jedi master was regretful of his harsh words even though he meant them. He never thought it would come to this. He so wanted to confide in his best friend, but felt that Anakin would not understand. "It's not like that..." he tried to assure, voice thick with apology. "This is all just…. too…" he struggled to find the words, " convenient. She died, remember? It's impossible."

The war room grew silent as both were upset that they couldn't trust the other like they wanted to.

'_He doesn't understand… Padme means the world to me...'_

'_He'll never forgive me…'_

Finally, Obi Wan broke the silence with a tentative plea.

"Anakin-"

"Forget it," The jedi's chosen's voice was low as he turned is hiding his hurt with coldness and anger. "I'll handle this myself."

"Anakin!" Obi Wan called at his retreating backside but Anakin was gone.

*-*-*-*-***BREAK-IT-UP**-*-*-*-*

Asajj's conversation with Barriss had left her contemplative about her options. She really wanted to talk things over with Obi Wan, but all of that flew out the window when her jedi came through the door in a sullen mood.

She had been patiently waiting in the kitchen when she heard him at the door.

Asajj could tell he was upset by the storm clouds in his eyes and the slouch in his posture. He looked as if the world were on his shoulders. She was already anxious about the transmission she'd received from Dooku. Asajj was ready to talk but she never got the chance to test the waters as he moved by her without an acknowledgement. Blinking in confusion, she stared after him wondering what happened today that had left him so unlike himself?

The jedi Master fell onto his bed with a sigh. He never got the chance to talk to Padme so he sent word through one of her advisors assuring her that he would have her act. It wasn't his intention to be rude when he'd rushed past Asajj, he just needed a moment to compose himself.

He didn't have long because seconds later, she was coming into his room with an accusing glint in her eye.

"What's the matter? I have ways of making you talk," she threatened folding her arms across her chest.

He wanted to laugh, to assure her that everything would be fine, but his tongue betrayed him announcing: "I think I lost my best friend."

'Y_ou could do much better than that annoying git anyway…'_

Obi Wan didn't have to have his link with her to know what she was thinking. Asajj rolled her eyes at the sideways glare he was giving her. "Kidding." She stressed holding her hands open in mock surrender. If he weren't so upset, he might have laughed at the familiar antics she was displaying.

"What happened?"

"We fought… over you." His laugh was bitter and Asajj felt her heartbreaking at the sound. "Can you imagine it? I was defending you, of all people, and he felt like I was choosing a wraith over him." The jedi Master wouldn't allow himself to go in any more detail.

She had feeling this had something to do with the transmission Dooku sent her. How else would a dead woman's name come up in conversation? That thought alone made her feel guilty.

Obi Wan was doing so much for her… First, he risked his standing within the order, and now his friendship with Anakin. Not that she cared about Anakin, but Obi Wan obviously did. She wasn't worth the headache or heartache he'd surely go through if their relationship was exposed.

Cradling his face between her hands, she rested her forehead against his soaking up his feelings of frustration, anger, and sadness. The jedi relaxed into her hands seemingly lost in his own world. Letting her hands slide down to rest upon his shoulders, she closed her eyes as her resolve weakened. Obi Wan didn't need her in his life.

A few months of laying low was not enough to forgive, let alone forget, murder, larceny and other general acts of terrorism. It was stupid for her to even entertain the idea of pleading with the jedi order. It was downright laughable now that she thought about it. Asajj Ventress, a jedi? There was no way in hell. Anakin had a better chance at becoming a Sith Lord.

*-*-*-*-***BREAK-IT-UP**-*-*-*-*

"He just dismissed the thing like it hadn't happened."

The Queen's throne room was empty of all except herself and her secret husband.

"Anakin… calm down. It's been a stressful few days for everyone." Padme soothed, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. She hated to see him so upset. Especially over something that involved a deceased assassin. "He could be on to something."

"It felt personal… He's hiding something…. And my gut is telling me that Ventress is involved somehow. I mean why else, would she keep popping up?"

"But the reports said-"

"Forget the reports. Being a jedi has taught me anything is possible. Even if it isn't her, it's someone and that's enough for me."

"Are you sure you're not the one with the obsession?" she teased wanting to kiss him but wary of any onlookers.

"She's threatening your life! As your h- bodyguard it's my job to keep you safe."

"Anakin… It's really sweet of you to worry about me, but I can take care of myself. I'm not completely helpless you know."

"Padme…"

"I love how fearless you are, but don't do something you'll come to regret later. Obi Wan wouldn't speak against you like that if he didn't have his reasons. **Talk **to him. I have some last minute duties to attend to. Hear him out, okay. I'll see you… "

*-*-*-*-***BREAK-IT-UP**-*-*-*-*

It had been so long since she danced, and she wondered if she still knew how. Her mother always said Ratattakis were passionate by nature.

After he got a better handle on his emotions, Obi Wan had asked her if she still danced. Confused, she told him it had been a while.

"_The Queen would like for you to dance for her court, Ms. Suerte." He explained humorlessly after he'd given her a partial account of his run-in with Amidala._

After she'd heard that, her mind was made up. She'd dance her ass off is that what he needed her to do, but she also realized how dangerous it would be. She'd be a sheep in wolf's clothing going into Naboo's capital surrounded by her former faction's enemies.

Exhaling, she closed her eyes focusing on his request. Her lithe frame began to sway as she found herself heady with nostalgia. The ghost-like sounds of a crackling fire and the ethnic pulse of drums filled her senses. She could smell burnt brush and the wild scent of desert blossoms.

Her skin felt flushed as she spun on the balls of her feet, hands caressing her shoulders and arms as she unfolded her limbs to the darkening sky above. Dipping her upper torso backward until her weight rested on her hands, she walked her body over allowing her feet to slide apart sinking onto ground. Leaning slightly to her right, she allowed her leg to swing over creating another split in a mirror position before she was up in a flurry of spinning motion ending with her back on her feet from holding her body erect on her hands. Pushing off the ground through her heels, Asajj was leaping and twirling seemingly dancing on air.

Obi Wan watched her fluid movements feeling hypnotized by the molten sway of her body. Cerulean eyes followed her hands as they moved over pale flesh before stopping at her hips which rocked in time with the phantom beat in their head.

Her body seemed to snake about rising and falling as her arms and legs became an extension of herself creating beautiful lines and wide arcing circles.

She felt weightless as her body crashed into the ground metaphorically bursting into flames as she tumbled about gasping and arching with the words of her people falling carelessly out of her mouth. She forgot where she was and all that mattered was her spiritual release through this ancient art of expression. When she finally came back to herself, she was a mess of hair and limbs poised wildly in the dirt.

The jedi master didn't know what to make of her carnal display of elegance. He felt his body reacting to her performance leaving him with a craving he didn't have the will to ignore. Swallowing, he tried his best to remain a gentleman as he forced his legs to move with the intention of offering her a hand.

What he didn't take into consideration was the light the sheen of sweat that rested on her skin, or the overall disheveled look she sported in a breathless state on the ground.

*-*-*-*-***BREAK-IT-UP**-*-*-*-*

Anakin watched the duo some 70 yards away with a morbid fascination.

Palpatine's team had been able to trace the transmission to this general area. He was searching for Ventress' aura when he'd caught wind of Obi Wan's. Thinking his former teacher was doing some investigating of his own, Anakin was as discreet as he could be tracking the other down to this lone cottage. He was going to approach his friend to talk and apologize but quickly decided against it when he saw him in conversation with this strange woman.

He watched as the woman began dancing to some imaginary song. She was a wave of motion twisting and spinning letting her body mesmerize her audience with its wild refinement.

He'd never seen Obi Wan look that way at anyone or anything. The way he followed her movements… and how he held her after he pulled her up from the ground. He handled her with a touch of intimacy that went beyond friendship. Like a lover…

Shaking his head with a mirthless smile Anakin felt he was reading too much into the situation… But then Padme's words popped into his mind _'They were very familiar… almost like they were together…' _There was no way Obi Wan was having an affair with some random Naboo-ian woman. He tried to make out the woman's features, but couldn't be sure from his position in the tree line.

He could feel his heart pulse wildly as he watched the Jedi Master cradle her face in his hands before capturing her mouth in an intimate kiss.

Anakin felt the world around him come to a screeching halt as he watched the scene before him unfold.

The woman returned the kiss leaning into the ginger haired man longingly.

Heaven help him- What the hell was going on?

*-*-*-*-***BREAK-IT-UP**-*-*-*-*

Asajj felt a warm sensation spread in her stomach as she pretended not to notice the want in his gaze after he kissed her. She immediately stumbled away with an excuse to shower hoping the space would sober them both up. She couldn't help that she liked whenever he looked at her like that.

It made her optimistic, and at this point neither could afford such naïve luxuries.

*-*-*-*-***BREAK-IT-UP**-*-*-*-*

Asajj shivered at the feel of his lips kissing down the column of her neck. Biting her lip, she tried in vain to hold back her cries of pleasure. How could one person make another feel so much?

"Obi Wan," She moaned in that velvet tone of hers as they stumbled onto her bed, "Please," She breathed into the heated air.

His mouth was on hers sucking and nipping as his tongue caressed her own. The towel she'd wrapped around herself earlier had been lost on the way to her room. For once, Obi Wan decided not to worry about consequences. Everything felt like it was going to hell anyway, so why not indulge himself before it all fell apart? He wanted to be with her even if it was for a little while.

'_You don't know what you're doing… Nothing is ever this simple.'_

Asajj could feel the hard planes of his body pressed tightly against hers. Butterfly kisses brushed against her jaw and temple as his low voice filled her ears, "It can be, darling, if you let it. We can be whatever we want right now."

She could feel tears slide down her cheeks as his fingers easily brushed them away before sliding back down her throat moving through the valley of her breast and resting on her flat stomach. She drew a shaky breath as he traced invisibles patterns tickling her flesh in an act of assurance.

"Just say the word, and I'll stop…" his mouth closed over the soft skin of her pulse, suckling and tasting, "But it won't change how I feel about you."

"What about Anakin… and your Order." She reasoned weakly allowing him the flesh of her neck. She whimpered gathering all of her discipline, which was quickly dwindling, in the face of his sensual assault. Her heart raced loudly in her chest, she felt him smirk as his hand traveled back to swell of her breast, kneading , lightly pinching pert nipple every now and then.

'_I don't care about that, right now…' _

Moaning, she lovingly fused their mouths together, exploring the muscle of his back and arms with coveting hands as he shifted his weight upon her.

'_And you?' _She whispered into their link breaking their kiss to roll them over. Azure eyes burned into silver, feeding off the sight of this woman naked and brilliant above him. The moon danced over her pale skin and damp locks, revealing a goddess to the mortal.

He settled his hands on her hips, sitting up and ravishing her mouth once again with his.

'_I want to experience __**this**__… with you.'_ He rolled his erection against her spot, making her needy as she ground down on him in return.

Not being able to stand such torture, she let him pull her down into him with a barely audible sigh. Smiling into their kiss, he realized she'd finally given in to him.

_**Edited for content**_

After achieving completion a third time, the two were a breathless mess of limbs wrapped around each other. Falling against the bed, Asajj rolled onto her back, allowing Obi Wan to catch his breath while resting his head on her chest.

Closing her eyes, she sighed at the pleasant ache pulsing between her legs. She was no blushing virgin by any means, but making love with Obi Wan was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.

'_Like touching heaven,' _she mused sleepily.

Chuckling lightly at her thoughts, the Jedi crawled up and kissed her tenderly on the mouth swallowing her soft groan of pleasure. He'd never felt so close to someone before. And when they'd tumbled into ecstasy together…

He'd always cherish this moment with her.

"I love you," she whispered after he pulled away.

His face belied his concern as he felt her seriousness, "Asajj-"

"No matter what."

Frowning, he repeated the sentiment in the same soft tone, "no matter what."

* * *

**A/N: I've never been more tired of anything than I am of this particular project... lol. I really hoped you guys liked it. I just want it to end, but it refuses to obey me... ugh... Next chapter. **


	18. Cosmic Love

**Cosmic Love- Florence + The Machine**

Despite the festivities in the air for the farewell ball, a handful of people could not share in the joy given their circumstances. Asajj Ventress was one of those people as she dressed for the tonight's event.

The linen skirt felt smooth against her skin. Hooking in the front, the fine fabric was a medium blue with silver trim that complimented her white skin. Stopping just below mid-thigh, the garment offered her a range of movement despite its cling. The brassiere she pulled on was halter like in its coverage of her breast. Scales embellished the top, matching the color of her skirt despite it being a shade lighter. With silver bracers and arm bands, the only thing left to put on were her anklets which were adjourned with tiny bells.

Grabbing a brush, Asajj brushed and brushed her hair until her curls fell in soft waves. Deciding to change it up a bit, she pulled some of it up, and secured it with silver accented pins that stood out nicely against the dark color of her hair. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Asajj was pleased with the results. She looked very much like an ice deity of fantasy.

She'd already gone over everything with the hired orchestra. After helping them capture the sound she wanted to perform to, she'd wandered around the ballroom getting a feel for her performance and escape routes. The palace ballroom was huge and amphitheater like in layout. There would be a lot of people watching, meaning her chances of staying unrecognized were just that much lower. Granted she looked a lot unlike her former self, she still decided to err on the side of caution.

Sighing, Asajj turned to stare at the small bag she had packed. There was a supply shuttle heading out later tonight and Ventress was making it a priority to be on it. She was no stranger to the type of 'malfunction' she knew the ship would experience with her on it.

Even though, the thought of leaving weighed heavily on her mind. The sadness that filled her chest was suffocating. Last night had been amazing and as much as she wanted to pretend nothing bad would come of this arrangement, she knew that was unlikely.

Trying to clear her thoughts, she was interrupted by her blonde friend with a tap to her shoulder. Staring into her mirror, the former dark lady frowned at the woman behind her and the anxious guard in her company.

"It's time."

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Palpatine watched with a satisfied smirk as Anakin stared at the conversing figures of Obi Wan Kenobi and Queen Amidala. He could tell the boy was dying to confront the older man about whatever he had seen last night. The confusion and hurt he felt rolled off in waves, whether he realized it or not. Ready to poke around the flames, the Chancellor adopted an expression of neutrality before addressing the young jedi.

"Ready?" he asked making his presence known.

Visibly cringing, Anakin turned realizing he'd been caught. "Chancellor," he greeted trying to save face. "I didn't realize you were standing there."

The Chancellor chuckled good-naturedly, "I noticed." Anakin rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly. "It's quite alright. Is everything alright between you and Master Kenobi? You seemed to be in a bad mood yesterday after you talked to him."

Anakin sighed, as the two began to walk away from the doorway of the ballroom. "I…. I don't know. There's so much going on now. It's like there's all this… _stuff_ between us that we don't want the other to know that we barely recognize the other." He pictured Obi Wan kissing that unknown woman again.

Palpatine hummed thoughtfully. "War has a way of changing a person. It's not uncommon for people to drift apart with age and distance."

Another sigh, "You're right, but I still don't like it. And the worst part is that I don't know how to bring it up."

"Come with me to the security room, Master Kenobi and Master Offee are more than capable of watching for danger. Maybe a little time away will help you clear your thoughts." Anakin looked unsure. "We'll be watching the same thing they'll be watching… Just with better views and angles."

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Checking over her reflection one more time, Ventress smiled at the bloodied figure barely breathing on the floor behind her.

"I would go and do my job if I were you…" she warned the wide-eyed guard holding the other unconscious woman.

Tossing her darkening locks over her shoulder, she gripped her accessories tightly before stepping out of the dressing room and getting on with her objective.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

The Jedi Knight was glad he taken the Chancellor's offer. If he were with Obi Wan, he'd be grilling him the whole time instead of keeping an eye out like he was supposed to. Normally, he'd be all about the mission, but it wasn't every day the Jedi's resident golden boy did something like this.

Granted, he was doing the same thing, but the fact that **he** had seen Obi Wan daring to break a rule so sacred just put things on a whole other level. He still didn't know what to make of the hurt and doubt he was feeling. He just couldn't believe it.

He was roused from his thoughts as the Chancellor asked him if he knew who this dancer was. Focusing on the screen, Anakin stared on in obvious concentration.

There was something horribly familiar about the dark-haired woman on the screen but Anakin found he couldn't place her anywhere. He watched as she threw her arms in the air in a fierce pose, the light catching the objects in her hand revealing two curved hilts of unmistakable design.

He studied her face carefully as her full lips pulled into a harsh smirk. That expression evoked a wave of irritably that he only felt in the presence of a certain assassin.

"**Shit!"** The jedi's chosen immediately bolted out of the security room. His mind racing in fear as adrenaline kicked in.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Ventress phased the sabers on and began to spin creating waves of red circles. Throwing the swords in the air, she completed a series of flips and tumbling passes before catching them in a tuck and roll.

Winking at the ginger-haired jedi, she jumped curving her spine back before landing like a cat in a crouched position. Rolling forward and pushing off her heels she seemed to be flying in a vortex of red light. Her movements were playful and flirty… nothing like last night's primal style.

Tossing a weapon in the air, silver eyes glinted mischievously as she bided her time. Throwing herself into her next move, she back handspringed slamming her foot into the hilt propelling the pulsing blade towards the Naboo-ian monarch.

By the time anyone realized what was about to happen, it was too late.

"**PADME!**"

Padme's eyes were bright with pain as the blade of the lightsaber cut through her dress and skin. The room was in a state of uproar as delegates and staff screamed in terror at the attack.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Reaching the room just in time to see his beloved impaled, Anakin's chest was tight as he screamed her name. Everything was moving in slow motion as he watched the assassin's smug form hover over his wife. His vision was bleeding red as his loathing increased. Before he could comprehend his actions, his weapon was ignited and his mind was on one thing.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

"Long live the Queen," the face above her sneered.

Wincing as she moved away from the pulsing heat of the weapon embedded in her seat, Padme narrowed her eyes as she griped her personal blaster pistol. "Forgive me if I don't wish the same unto you!" She yelled as shoving the weapon in her attacker's face and pulling the trigger.

Ventress barely evaded the blast as it skimmed across her cheek before blowing out a pillar. All pandemonium broke loose as everyone tried to clear to room at the same time. The palace's guard jumped into the fray trying to calm the crowd while getting them out of harm's way.

Wasting no time, Padme immediately bolted not wanting to be around when the other recovered. Lucky her, the weapon only grazed her side.

Screeching at the angry mark on her right cheek, the assassin leaped at the fleeing queen. Just as she was about to attack she was tackled to the ground by a flash of tan and brown.

Groaning as her body was slammed into the hard marble, Ventress was dizzy as her assailant settled on top of her. "Who are you?" Obi Wan ground out, using his weight to hold her down.

The woman underneath him blew him a kiss, "Wouldn't you like to know…" she breathed mockingly. There was no way this was the woman he'd spent the night with. His Asajj wasn't supposed to be like this anymore. Their link was… off.

The Jedi Master opened his mouth to say something, but was distracted by the sound of Anakin screaming bloody murder. Looking over in his friend's general direction was just the distraction Ventress needed as she broke free of his hold, hammering him square in the jaw.

Surprised by the force of her hit, he thought he was hallucinating when the woman in question drew back a hammer as she rolled onto her feet. Blinking, it was a hand again as he quickly righted himself with light saber ready.

Smirking, Ventress had retrieved her weapon as well and was in a fighting stance of her own. "Come Jedi, let us see if you're worth all this fuss."

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Barriss watched as the two leaped at each other striking and parrying blows in a deadly dance of combat. The Ventress she'd encountered was completely different from the vindictive woman fighting against her comrade. She really thought she'd convinced the other.

She rushed to help Obi Wan but was interrupted by the rumble of thermal detonators going off, destroying beam supports and pillars. Focusing her abilities on panicky delegates, she used the force to catch the larger debris that was falling from the ceiling of the palace's ballroom.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Padme crashed into her husband just as the thermal detonators sounded.

"Anakin!" She cried as her arms wrapped around him.

The sound of her voice seemed to bring him back to present as he blinked and stuttered her name. The chosen one had no time to process as his instincts took over making him respond to the dangerous falling debris.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

Following her weapons' attack with a turning hook kick, Ventress missed her opponent by a few millimeters. She quickly spun and ducked feeling his counter attack dig into her right shoulder. Before she could right her defense again, a strong force of something slammed into her knocking her down and leaving her breathless.

Cerulean eyes were hard as Obi Wan regarded the angry woman in a crouched position. "Now, I'm going to ask you again," he started, "Who are you?"

Snarling, Ventress pushed something on her bracer.

Before the Jedi master could move, bombs sounded all around the room causing him to stumble. Falling chunks of marble crashed around him as he tapped into the force to make sure it stayed that way.

However, when he looked back to face his opponent, she was gone.

***-*-*-BREAK-IT-UP-*-*-***

After everything calmed down, staff rushed about the room trying to get everything in order and be of assistance to those still in the room.

Barriss was checking over the Naboo monarch to see how bad her injuries were. Anakin stood by watching the whole thing with restrained fury.

He'd kill her if he ever saw her again. He'd snapped her porcelain neck with his bare hands.

The young Queen could tell by the stormy look in his eyes that Anakin was seething on the inside. Her Ani was a passionate young man, most of the time she loved that about him, but not right now. Smiling thankfully at the Mirilian healer, she opened her mouth to say she was fine, but was interrupted by the voice of another.

"Are you alright?" Obi Wan asked looking over her as he made it over to the trio. He'd been talking with the guards instructing them to scour the halls and secure the security tapes. He had feeling that whoever made an attempt on Padme would be gone by now, but it still would help to look for anything the perpetrator may have dropped.

"I'm fine," Padme assured, "just a scratch. Lucky me she missed."

Obi Wan nodded, thankful the young woman was unharmed. Turning to speak to Anakin, the jedi master never got the chance as the room's door burst open revealing three palace guard and an unconscious Asajj Ventress.

"We found her in the great hall," one of the guards' said tightening his hold on the woman in his grasp. "It appears she was struck by some fallen debris."

Anakin narrowed his eyes as the other three stared on with mild surprise. Ready to react, he paused in his anger as he picked up on the barely contained emotion of Obi Wan.

Kenobi was a mix of confusion and anxiousness.

'_How…'_

Stirring, the person in question blinked open her eyes looking about in obvious confusion. Nodding at each other, the guard placed her down and pushed her forward confident in her weakness and the skills of the three other warriors present. Asajj willed the floor to stop its spinning as she tried to find her bearings stumbling onto her knees. Her gaze briefly rested on Obi Wan in question as she took in her surroundings desperately fighting the darkness at the edge of her vision.

The last thing she remembered was Shuri and her dressing room. But something had been off about the doctor. Before she had time to question anything there was blur and sweet nothingness.

Obi Wan would've taken a step forward if Barriss hadn't discreetly grabbed his wrist holding him in place. Instead Barriss moved forward, checking over the ill woman like the good healer she was.

The Jedi's Chosen frowned at the action.

_Obi Wan ripped a hand through his hair as he stared up at his friend, willing him to trust him. "Look, I know her…"_

"_You'd choose some hopeless wench over me? Your brother?_

'There's no way…' he thought as his thoughts were slowly aligning. Suddenly, he realized why the woman from yesterday seemed so familiar.

_He watched as the Jedi Master cradled her face in his hands before capturing her mouth in an intimate kiss… _

_**This**_ was the woman from yesterday. Ventress was the woman his 'brother' had held like he was in-love with.

It had been her the whole time… meaning Obi Wan had known… the whole time.

As the picture became clearer, so did his anger and disbelief. Obi Wan** had **chosen her over him… over everything.

Padme recognized the distress that shone in her husband's eyes. "Anakin?" She voiced in concern, lightly grasping his wrist.

The emotion displayed in cerulean eyes was all the answer he needed.

If Obi Wan was surprised by what happened next, he didn't show it.

"You bastard!" Anakin snarled leaping forward slamming his fist into Obi Wan's bearded jaw. Obi Wan was knocked to ground as Anakin had thrown his whole body into the attack. Both landed with grunts.

Anakin was vaguely aware of Padme calling his name as he scrambled to follow up on the punch. But this time the Jedi Master was ready to defend himself.

"**ENOUGH!" **Barriss boomed, using the force to rip Anakin off of Obi Wan. "There are more important things to worry about right now!"

Obi Wan pushed himself up very much aware of his aching jaw.

The guards stood by awkwardly.

"It could've been anyone," Anakin spat angrily jumping onto his feet, "**but** her! You'd still believe in _**that**_ even after all this?"

Asajj couldn't help but cringe at the ugliness of this fight as she leaned on Barriss for support. She didn't care in the least what Anakin thought of her, but she recognized the injury it caused Obi Wan and for that she was sorry.

"Anakin…" Obi Wan knew there was nothing to say that would make everything alright between the two of them.

"She tried to kill Padme and… and..." Tearing a hand through his hair, Anakin turned his back on the ginger haired man trying to reign in his rage. He caught the eyes of the assassin and glared.

Padme had finally gotten over her surprise and acted accordingly. She still felt in the dark about the situation, but recognized an unnecessary conflict when she saw one. "Anakin, I think you should leave." The passionate young man turned his angry gaze onto her, but Padme would not be intimidated. Her disposition was firm and unwavering. "Now."

Snorting, he left after throwing one last nasty glance at the 'couple' behind him.

The Naboo-ian monarch turned to deal with the situation at hand but was once again interrupted.

"Arrest that woman!" Came the voice of the Chancellor. Attention snapped to another entrance as the normally pleasant Palpatine was pointing accusingly with a hard glint in his eye.

"No!" Barriss said with a look of her own, handing the ailing woman off to Obi Wan.

"Guards!" The three who were, oddly enough, still there moved to take control of the prisoner.

Barriss wasted no time in activating her weapon daring the guards to try something. "If my memory serves correct, sith fall under the responsibility of the Jedi Council. Asajj Ventress is an enemy of the jedi and** by extension** the Republic. Not the other way around."

"And what of her crimes against the Republic?" The Chancellor boldly stated.

"The Council will judge her accordingly, and should they find her guilty she will be dealt with according to the severity of her actions." Obi Wan finally spoke up before addressing the guards for cuffs.

Palpatine narrowed his eyes, "Padme?" He acknowledged waiting for her ruling on the situation.

The young Queen found her eyes locked on the eyes of Obi Wan Kenobi wishing she knew exactly what was going on. She appeared lost in thought until she finally gave her decision. With a heavy sigh, she realized Barriss was right and said as much. "According to the Republic's charter in regards to jedi and force-wielding prisoners, I have no legal grounds to authorize the Republic's arrest of a sith acolyte." She gave Obi Wan a look that said, 'I hope you know what you're doing.' "With that being said, if possible, I'd like to be consulted and allowed presence at her trial since it was my life that she just so blatantly threatened." She flashed an apologetic glance at the Chancellor who shrugged, and called his guard off.

Barriss deactivated her weapon as the guard backed off. "The Jedi Order appreciates your understanding of the situation." The Chancellor and his men left in somewhat of a huff, while Padme glanced around her ballroom weary of the damage.

When their audience had left, Barriss turned to Obi Wan and the now restrained Asajj Ventress saying what both had been dreading. "The jedi council will have to be notified and a full investigation will be launched… Asajj Ventress, you are now a prisoner of the Jedi Order."

* * *

**A/N: Fiiiinnaalllly! The end is near! Thoughts so far? Review please!**


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